The Perfect Woman (Live)-Bo Burnham

[ti:The Perfect Woman (Live)] [ar:Bo Burnham] [al:Bo Burnham] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]The Perfect Woman (Live) - Bo Burnham [00:00.43]So I've done a lot of comedy [00:02.35]So let's uhh take a little break from [00:04.67]That and this is uhm it's just a song [00:06.60]That if you'll just indulge me it's yeah [00:15.35]She was the perfect woman [00:18.17]In every single way [00:21.45]She made the sun shine brighter [00:23.86]And all my cares go away [00:26.68]She was the perfect woman [00:29.59]She was a gourmet chef [00:32.73]They say that love is blind well it's also deaf [00:39.44]'Cause Helen Keller was [00:40.63]The perfect woman [00:42.05]And no one understands [00:45.47]Just how talented she was [00:48.08]With her hands (UHH ) [00:50.86]Well God made her the perfect woman [00:53.60]I was the finishing touch [00:56.71]She was the perfect woman [00:58.77]'Cause she didn't talk so much [01:03.49]She wanted to name the kids [01:06.01]So I finally let her [01:09.32]It turned out horribly Chewbacca [01:11.38]Could have done better (Rrrrrr ) [01:14.94]But I guess it was alright [01:17.69]We had a boy and a girl [01:20.40]Just me and Helen Er-Ah and Earl [01:27.17]'Cause Helen Keller was my miracle [01:28.66]Worker I was her one-man show [01:32.69]I could walk around the house naked [01:35.25]She wouldn't even know [01:37.17]Because Helen Keller was my perfect woman [01:40.58]I was her only need [01:42.61]Well she didn't mind the zits on my ass [01:46.02]Gave her more to read [01:49.88]Gave her more to read [01:51.00]It gave her more to read [01:52.23]It gave her more to read [01:53.46]It gave her more to read [01:54.86]Yeah more to read [01:56.28]It gave her more to read [01:57.57]More to read [02:04.49]Helen Keller was my perfect woman [02:07.12]But I don't think she cared [02:10.08]I played this song for her [02:11.86]She just sat there and stared [02:15.26]Well she was still my perfect woman [02:18.07]I was sort of a mess [02:21.06]I asked her to marry me she said ErrRr [02:28.06]So yeah [02:36.31]I did just graduate high school seniors '08 [02:38.71]And uhm yeah I actually [02:41.69]Wrestled in high school [02:42.77]I was only in one match [02:43.94]And I lost my virginity Uhm [02:48.02]Yeah my high school girlfriend actually [02:49.48]She recently told me that I kiss [02:51.24]Like a stroke victim which is weird that [02:53.02]She has like that frame of reference [02:54.66]You know But you know I stopped [02:58.53]And I thought I thought I thought you know [03:00.32]What would Jesus do So I didn't exist [03:08.17]No I'm just kidding I took her out to [03:10.21]Dinner just ordered the bread [03:11.38]And then told her to eat me [03:21.72]This next song the f**k am I doing