Jonah and the Grampus-Stanley Holloway

[ti:Jonah And The Grampus] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:EMI Comedy Classics] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Jonah and the Grampus - Stanley Holloway [00:06.46]I'll tell you the story of Jonah [00:08.77]A really remarkable tale [00:11.10]A peaceful and humdrum existence he had [00:14.47]Until one day he went for a sail [00:16.92]The weather were grand when they started [00:19.49]But later at turn of the tide [00:22.04]The wind started blowing the water got rough [00:25.51]And Jonah felt funny inside [00:28.18]When the ship started pitching and tossing [00:31.20]He tried hard his feelings to smother [00:34.53]At last he just leant his head over the side [00:37.81]And one thing seemed to bring up another [00:40.89]When the sailors saw what he were doing [00:43.83]It gave them a bit of a jar [00:46.35]They didn't mind trippers enjoying theirselves [00:49.04]But thowt this ere were going too far [00:52.08]Said one Is there nowt you can think on [00:55.47]To stop you from feelin' so bad [00:58.06]And Jonah said Aye lift me over the side [01:01.27]And chuck me in there's a good lad [01:03.72]The sailor were not one to argue [01:07.01]He said Happen you know what's best [01:09.56]Then he picked Jonah up by the seat of his pants [01:12.54]And chucked him in as per request [01:15.59]A Grampus came up at that moment [01:18.83]And seeing the old man hard set [01:21.50]It swam to his side and it opened its mouth [01:24.14]And said Come in lad out of the wet [01:27.55]It's manner were kindly and pleading [01:31.05]As if to say RSVP [01:34.10]Said Jonah I've eaten a kipper or two [01:37.29]But I never thowt one would eat me [01:39.86] [01:40.39]The inside of Grampus surprised him [01:44.24]Twere the first time he'd been behind scenes [01:47.22]He found commodation quite ample for one [01:49.97]But it smelled like a tin of sardines [01:53.19]Then over the sea they went cruising [01:56.25]And Jonah were filled with delight [01:59.17]With his eye to the blow ole in the Grampus's head [02:02.48]He watched ships that passed in the night [02:05.27]I'm tired of watching said Jonah [02:08.31]I'll rest for a minute or so [02:10.97]I'm afraid as you won't find your bed very soft [02:13.85]Said the Grampus I've got a hard roe [02:17.29]At that moment up came a whale boat [02:21.14]Said Jonah What's this ere we've struck [02:23.57]They're after my blubber the Grampus replied [02:26.87]You'd better old tight while I duck [02:29.78]The water came in through the spy ole [02:33.07]And hit Jonah's face a real slosher [02:35.77]He said Shut your blow 'ole and Grampus replied [02:39.11]I can't lad it needs a new washer [02:41.77]Jonah tried card to bail out the water [02:44.99]But found all his efforts in vain [02:47.70]For as fast as he emptied [02:49.17]The slops out through the gills [02:50.91]They came in through the blow ole again [02:54.01]When at finish they came to the surface [02:56.57] [02:57.10]Jonah took a look out and he saw [02:59.71]They were stuck on a bit of a sandbank that lay [03:02.46]One rod pole or perch from the shore [03:05.33]Said the Grampus We're in shallow water [03:08.81]I've brought you as far as I may [03:11.47]If you sit on the blow 'ole on top of my head [03:14.99]I'll spout you the rest of the way [03:16.96] [03:17.65]So Jonah obeyed these instructions [03:20.38]And the Grampus his lungs did expand [03:24.03]Then blew out a fountain that lifted Jou up [03:27.19]And carried him safely to land [03:30.42]There was tears in their eyes when they parted [03:34.81]And each blew a kiss a real bigun [03:38.08] [03:38.76]Then the Grampus went off with a swish of it's tail [03:42.37]And Jonah walked back home to Wigan