Old Sam's Christmas Pudding-Stanley Holloway

[ti:Old Sam's Christmas Pudding] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:EMI Comedy Classics] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Old Sam's Christmas Pudding - Stanley Holloway [00:10.83]It was Christmas Day in the trenches [00:13.97]In Spain in Penninsular War [00:16.59]And Sam Small were cleaning his musket [00:20.06]A thing as he'd nere done before [00:23.11]They'd had'em inspected that morning [00:26.42]And Sam had got into disgrace [00:29.13]For when sergeant had looked down the barrel [00:32.65]A sparrow flew out in his face [00:35.97]The sergeant reported the matter [00:38.51]To Lieutenant Bird then and there [00:41.41]Said Lieutenant How very disgusting [00:45.75]The Duke must be told of this ere [00:49.23]The Duke were upset when he heard [00:52.58]He said I'm astonished I am [00:56.20]I must make a most drastic example [00:59.69]There'll be no Christmas pudding for Sam [01:03.73]When Sam were informed of his sentence [01:07.36]Surprise rooted him to the spot [01:11.18]Twas much worse than he had expected [01:14.26]He thought as he'd only be shot [01:16.93] [01:17.49]And so he sat cleaning his musket [01:21.19]And polishing barrel and butt [01:24.44]While the pudding his mother had sent him [01:28.09]Lay there in the mud at his foot [01:31.75]Now the centre that Sam's lot were holding [01:35.75]Ran around a place called Badajoz [01:39.16]Where the Spaniards had put up a bastion [01:41.97] [01:43.24]And ooh what a bastion it was [01:46.66]They pounded away all the morning [01:49.14]With canister grape shot and ball [01:52.80]But the face of the bastion defied them [01:56.27]They made no impression at all [01:59.13]They started again after dinner [02:01.64]Bombarding as hard as they could [02:04.88]And the Duke brought his own private cannon [02:09.10]But that weren't a ha'pence o good [02:12.02]The Duke said Sam put down thy musket [02:16.44]And help me lay this gun true [02:19.59]Sam answered You'd best ask your favours [02:23.15]From them as you give pudding to [02:25.84] [02:26.60]The Duke looked at Sam so reproachful [02:31.07]And don't take it that way said he [02:35.08]Us Generals have got to be ruthless [02:38.55]It hurts me more than it did thee [02:42.23]Sam sniffed at these words kind of sceptic [02:47.19]Then looked down the Duke's private gun [02:50.88]And said We'd best put in two charges [02:54.45]We'll never bust bastion with one [02:58.19]He tipped cannon ball out of muzzle [03:00.76]He took out the wadding and all [03:03.01]He filled barrel chock full of powder [03:06.05]Then picked up and replaced the ball [03:09.39]He took a good aim at the bastion [03:12.68]Then said Right o Duke let her fly [03:16.81]The cannon nigh jumped off her trunnions [03:20.78]And up went the bastion sky high [03:24.90] [03:26.62]The Duke he weren't alf elated [03:30.08]He danced around trench full of glee [03:33.37]And said Sam for this gallant action [03:37.82]You can hot up your pudding for tea [03:40.72]Sam looked round to pick up his pudding [03:44.73]But it wasn't there nowhere about [03:46.80] [03:48.15]In the place where he thought he had left it [03:51.82]Lay the cannon ball he'd just tipped out [03:55.82]Sam saw in a flash what ad happened [03:59.97]By an unprecedented mishap [04:03.21]The pudding his mother had sent him [04:06.04]Had blown Badajoz off map [04:09.59]That's why fuisilliers wear to this moment [04:14.03]A badge which they think's a grenade [04:17.61]But they're wrong it's a brass reproduction [04:21.88]Of the pudding Sam's mother once made