Three Ha'Pence a Foot-Stanley Holloway

[ti:Three Ha'Pence a Foot] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:Parlophone Comedy Classics] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.15]Three Ha'Pence a Foot - Stanley Holloway [00:00.83]Written by：Edgar Marriott [00:01.16] [00:05.56]I'll tell you an old fashioned story [00:07.76]That grandfather used to relate [00:10.00]Of a joiner and building contractor [00:12.63]Is name it were Sam Oglethorpe [00:15.42]In a shop on the banks of the Orwell [00:17.69]Old Sam used to follow is trade [00:20.11]In a place you'll have eard of called bury [00:22.70] [00:23.22]You know where black puddings is made [00:25.41] [00:26.41]One day Sam were filling a knot ole [00:28.75]We putty when in threw the door [00:31.44]Came an old feller fair wreathed we whiskers [00:34.49]Could chap said good morning I'm Noah [00:37.37] [00:38.47]Sam asked Noah what was is business [00:40.37] [00:40.95]And could chap went on to remark [00:42.71] [00:43.34]That not liking the look of the weather [00:45.66]He were thinking of building an ark [00:47.52] [00:48.47]He gotten the wood for the bulwarks [00:50.68] [00:51.18]And all other shipbuilding junk [00:53.16] [00:53.71]And wanted some nice bird's eye maple [00:56.09] [00:56.64]To panel the side of is bunk [00:58.54] [00:59.28]Now maple were Sam's monopoly [01:01.46] [01:02.07]That means it were all is to cut [01:03.88] [01:04.65]And nobody else hadn't got none [01:06.65] [01:07.28]So asked Noah three ha'pence a foot [01:09.62] [01:10.72]A ha'penny too much replied Noah [01:12.76] [01:13.53]A penny a foot's more the mark [01:15.28] [01:16.13]A penny a foot and when t'rain comes [01:18.85]I'll give you a ride in me ark [01:20.89] [01:21.51]But neither would budge in the bargain [01:23.38] [01:24.04]The whole daft thing were kind of a jam [01:26.32] [01:26.96]So Sam put is tongue out at Noah [01:28.97] [01:29.60]And Noah made long bacon at Sam [01:31.83] [01:32.61]In wrath and ill feeling they parted [01:35.49]Not knowing when they'd meet again [01:37.64] [01:38.64]And Sam had forgot all about it [01:40.62] [01:41.27]Til one day it started to rain [01:43.54] [01:44.66]It rained and it rained for a fortni't [01:47.13] [01:47.72]And flooded the ole countryside [01:50.10] [01:50.75]It rained and it kept on raining [01:53.11] [01:53.73]Til the Orwell were fifty mile wide [01:56.72] [01:57.51]The causes were soon under water [02:00.18]And folks to the roof ad to climb [02:02.47] [02:03.17]They said twas the rottenest summer [02:05.41]That bury ad ad for some time [02:07.54] [02:08.15]The rain showed no sign of abating [02:10.65]And water rose hour by hour [02:12.75] [02:13.27]Til the only dry land were at Blackpool [02:15.47] [02:16.04]And that were on top of the tower [02:17.88] [02:18.57]So Sam started swimming to Blackpool [02:20.96] [02:21.54]It took I'm best part of a week [02:23.45] [02:24.01]Is clothes were wet through when's got there [02:26.52]And is boots were beginning to leak [02:28.63] [02:29.20]He stood to is watch chain in water [02:32.04]On tower top just before dark [02:34.19] [02:34.72]When who should come sailing towards I'm [02:37.33]But old Noah steering is ark [02:39.75] [02:40.52]They stared at each other in silence [02:42.94] [02:43.52]Til ark were alongside all but [02:45.62] [02:46.13]Then Noah said what price your maple [02:48.81] [02:49.34]Sam answered three ha'pence a foot [02:51.78] [02:52.39]Noah said nay I'll make thee an offer [02:55.35]The same as I did other day [02:57.00] [02:57.99]A penny a foot and a free ride [03:00.76]Now come on lad what does that say [03:03.09] [03:04.48]Three hapence a foot came the answer [03:07.19]So Noah is sail ad to hoist [03:09.34] [03:09.91]And sailed off again in a dudgeon [03:11.92] [03:12.54]While Sam stood determined but moist [03:15.91]Noah cruised around flying is pigeons [03:19.75]Til fortieth day of the wet [03:21.72] [03:22.33]And on is way back passing Blackpool [03:25.33]He saw old Sam standing there yet [03:27.72] [03:28.48]Is chin just stuck out of the water [03:31.40]A comical figure he cut [03:33.40] [03:33.95]Noah said now what's the price of your maple [03:37.44] [03:38.03]Sam answered three ha'pence a foot [03:40.24] [03:41.96]Said Noah yed best take my offer [03:44.30] [03:44.84]It's last time I'll be hereabout [03:47.03] [03:47.57]And if water comes half an inch higher [03:49.98] [03:50.70]I'll happen get maple for nowt [03:53.07] [03:54.26]Three hapence a foot it'll cost you [03:56.48] [03:57.03]And as for me Sam said don't fret [03:59.79] [04:00.46]The sky's took a turn since this morning [04:03.78]I think it'll brighten up yet