The Beefeater-Stanley Holloway

[ti:] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:Parlophone Comedy Classics] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.06]The Beefeater - Stanley Holloway [00:00.67]Written by：Bert Lee/R P Weston [00:01.52] [00:08.43]Oh dear starting another day I suppose [00:11.41]Showing these ere gumps around the tower [00:13.70] [00:14.74]Still it's got to be done [00:16.95]Someone's got to do it [00:18.50]Good morning what's that [00:20.98]Will I show you around t'tower sir [00:23.06]You're from Yorkshire sir [00:24.47]Ba goon the world's small [00:27.31]I'm from Yorkshire myself aye [00:29.25]These ere cockneys don't know [00:31.43]There's a tower here at all [00:32.92] [00:34.03]First of all sir we come to the canteen [00:36.57] [00:37.07]Where you wash the cobwebs off your chest [00:39.43] [00:40.14]That's our motto there [00:41.41]Honi soit quit may y pense [00:44.03]And in Yorkshire that means beer is best [00:47.16] [00:47.97]Eh I'll have a pint sir and thank yer [00:50.84] [00:51.49]You'll find it good ale to sup [00:53.63] [00:54.71]Well as guy Fawkes said when he got bunged in dungeon [00:57.85]And tumbled head first bottoms up [01:00.83] [01:01.97]That big ole outside is the moat sir [01:05.12]And they do say if ever john bull [01:07.85]Sells the tower for a road house with cracks puttied up [01:11.39]It'll make a damn fine swimming pool [01:14.46] [01:15.44]And now sir we come to armory [01:18.38]Here's the tin pants of dick coeur de lion [01:21.38] [01:22.22]Just imagine the job that his old woman had [01:25.19]Putting patches on with soldering iron [01:28.29] [01:29.03]Here's the shirt and the chainmail black prince wore [01:32.52]To starch and iron that were real tricky [01:35.58]It took three boilermakers to put on his shirt [01:38.84]And a blacksmith to put on his dicky [01:41.36] [01:42.08]And this ere's the real eadsman's block sir [01:45.93]From this many eads fell with a thud [01:48.44] [01:49.47]He to keep all these ere stains fresh [01:51.96]All these three hundred years [01:54.13]We've used buckets and buckets of blood [01:56.93] [01:57.97]Ere's the axes that's the genuine axes sir [02:01.36]That's given royal necks some ard whacks [02:03.91] [02:04.82]Thou it's ad a new candle and perhaps a new head [02:08.36]But it's a real old original axes [02:10.85] [02:11.74]And down here's where princes were murdered [02:15.21]Aye strangled poor kids in cold blood [02:18.88] [02:19.62]And what's worse down here [02:21.21]I tossed Scotsman for shilling [02:23.26]I won but the shilling was dud [02:25.65] [02:26.44]And here's where they tortured the prisoners [02:29.56]On that rack when they wouldn't confess [02:32.21] [02:33.10]They were crushed till their blood ran drip drip drip [02:38.34] [02:39.36]Feeling faint sir well here's sergeant's mess [02:42.71] [02:43.66]Eh oh thank you I will have a pint sir [02:46.57] [02:47.21]For talking's a day's work bet your life [02:49.56] [02:50.29]For when I show you ducking stool they had for women [02:53.78] [02:54.33]By goon you'll wish you'd brought the wife [02:57.20] [02:58.34]And why do they call us beefeaters [03:01.45] [03:02.17]Is it couse we eat beef sir nay nay [03:05.38] [03:06.04]The sergeant eats pork and the corporal eats bacon [03:09.72]But I eat tripe three times a day [03:12.15] [03:13.25]And so you shall know we're beefeaters [03:16.65]There's me who has fought in the wars [03:19.50]As to walk round with frills on me neck like a hambone [03:23.12]A daft hat and purple plus fours [03:26.26] [03:27.21]But here's why they call us beefeaters [03:31.32] [03:31.96]King Alfred one night so they say [03:34.77] [03:35.41]Fell over the feet of the sentry [03:37.42]And shouted oi keep your b feet out of the way [03:41.96]