The 'Ole in the Ark-Stanley Holloway

[ti:The 'Ole in the Ark] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:Parlophone Comedy Classics] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.15]The 'Ole in the Ark - Stanley Holloway [00:00.86]Written by：Marriott Edgar [00:01.64] [00:07.21]One evening at dusk as Noah stood on his ark [00:11.62]Putting green oil in starboard side lamp [00:14.55] [00:15.07]His wife came along and said Noah Sumatra's wrong [00:19.14]Our cabin is getting quite damp [00:21.31] [00:22.08]Said Noah is that so then he went down below [00:25.50]And found it were right what she'd said [00:28.31]For there on the floor quite a puddle he saw [00:31.44]It was slopping around under the bed [00:33.61] [00:34.47]Said he there's an ole in the bottom somewhere [00:37.52]We must find it before we retire [00:40.43]Then he thowt for a bit and he said aye that's it [00:43.83]A bloodhound is what we require [00:46.29] [00:47.03]So he went and fetched bloodhound [00:48.98]From place where it lay [00:50.78] [00:51.43]Tween the skunk and the polecat it were [00:53.99] [00:54.77]And as things there below were a trifle so so [00:58.25]It were glad of a breath of fresh air [01:00.69] [01:01.34]They followed the sound as it went sniffing round [01:04.49] [01:05.03]Til at last they located the leak [01:07.65]There a small hole in the side about two inches wide [01:10.95]Where a swordfish had poked in its beak [01:13.56] [01:14.60]And by gum how the wet squirted in through that hole [01:19.39]Well young she who at sums was expert [01:22.67] [01:23.25]Worked it out on his slate that it came at the rate [01:26.69]Of per gallon per second per squirt [01:29.58] [01:30.42]The bloodhound tried hard to keep water in check [01:33.42]By lapping it up with his tongue [01:35.43] [01:36.05]But I spart one no go he went on that hole that [01:39.10]He shoved in his nose for a bung [01:41.62] [01:42.62]The poor faithful hound he were very near drowned [01:46.48] [01:47.24]They dragged him away none too soon [01:50.00] [01:50.54]For the stream as it rose pushed its way up his nose [01:53.99]And blew him up like a balloon [01:55.92] [01:56.83]And then Mrs Noah shoved her elbow in thole [02:00.86]And said eh it's stopped I believe [02:03.39] [02:03.94]But they found very soon as she'd altered her tune [02:06.93]Cuz the water had got up her sleeve [02:09.36] [02:10.29]When find her elbow weren't doing much good [02:13.30] [02:13.87]She said to Noah I've an idea [02:17.37]You sit on the leak and by tend of the week [02:21.12]There's no knowing the weather may clear [02:23.68] [02:25.01]Noah didn't think much to this notion at all [02:28.27]But reckoned he'd give it a try [02:30.65]On the ole down he flopped and the leaking all stopped [02:35.11]And all except him was quite dry [02:38.14] [02:38.78]They took him his breakfast and dinner and tea [02:42.70]As day after day there he sat [02:45.99] [02:46.58]Til the storm was all passed and they landed at last [02:49.93]On top side of mount Ararat [02:52.65] [02:53.54]And that is how Noah got them all safe ashore [02:57.62] [02:58.33]But ever since then strange to tell [03:01.66] [03:02.19]Them as helped save the ark has all carried a mark [03:05.84] [03:06.36]Aye and all their descendants as well [03:09.30] [03:10.29]That's why dog has a cold nose and ladies cold elbows [03:16.15] [03:17.20]You'll also find if you enquire [03:19.98] [03:20.86]That's why a man takes his coat tails in hand [03:24.24]And stands with his back to the fire