Word Crimes-Weird Al Yankovic

[ti:Word Crimes] [ar:Weird Al Yankovic] [al:Mandatory Fun] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Word Crimes - Weird Al Yankovic (“怪人奥尔”扬科维奇) [00:01.59]Everybody shut up WOO [00:03.70] [00:09.53]Everyone listen up [00:10.25] [00:11.53]Hey hey hey uh [00:13.03] [00:13.64]Hey hey hey [00:14.40] [00:18.47]If you can't write in the proper way [00:21.63] [00:22.36]If you don't know how to conjugate [00:25.59] [00:26.15]Maybe you flunked that class [00:28.05]And maybe now you find [00:29.44] [00:29.97]That people mock you online [00:31.40] [00:33.92]Okay now here's the deal [00:35.86]I'll try to educate ya [00:37.85]Gonna familiarize [00:38.95] [00:39.75]You with the nomenclature [00:41.25] [00:41.77]You'll learn the definitions [00:43.12] [00:43.76]Of nouns and prepositions [00:45.17] [00:45.70]Literacy's your mission [00:47.16] [00:47.67]And that's why I think it's a [00:49.52]Good time [00:50.57] [00:51.70]To learn some grammar [00:52.91] [00:53.61]Now did I stammer [00:54.63] [00:55.57]Work on that grammar [00:56.71]You should know when [00:58.31] [00:59.46]It's "less" or it's "fewer" [01:00.58] [01:01.18]Like people who were [01:02.46] [01:03.44]Never raised in a sewer [01:04.64]I hate these word crimes [01:07.33]Like I could care less [01:08.42] [01:09.29]That means you do care [01:10.45] [01:11.23]At least a little [01:12.37]Don't be a moron [01:13.27] [01:15.23]You'd better slow down [01:16.36] [01:17.20]And use the right pronoun [01:18.48] [01:19.04]Show the world you're no clown [01:20.12]Everybody wise up [01:20.74]Say you got an "I" "T" [01:22.97]Followed by apostrophe "s" [01:25.10]Now what does that mean [01:26.72]You would not use [01:27.89]"it's" in this case [01:29.07]As a possessive [01:29.88] [01:30.93]It's a contraction [01:32.00] [01:32.84]What's a contraction [01:34.32]Well it's the shortening of a word [01:35.25]Or a group of words [01:35.94]By the omission of a sound or letter [01:37.10]Okay now here's some notes [01:38.26] [01:38.83]Syntax you're always mangling [01:40.78]No "x" in "espresso" [01:42.76]Your participle's danglin' [01:44.74]But I don't want your drama [01:46.73]If you really wanna [01:48.07] [01:48.64]Leave out that Oxford comma [01:50.09] [01:50.60]Just keep in mind [01:51.55]That "be" "see" "are" "you" [01:53.76] [01:54.58]Are words not letters [01:55.57] [01:56.50]Get it together [01:57.52] [01:58.51]Use your spellchecker [01:59.40] [01:59.91]You should never [02:00.93] [02:02.40]Write words using numbers [02:03.45] [02:04.40]Unless you're seven [02:05.36] [02:06.35]Or your name is Prince [02:07.32]I hate these word crimes [02:09.64] [02:10.36]You really need a [02:11.41] [02:12.20]Full time proofreader [02:13.29] [02:13.96]You dumb mouth-breather [02:15.18]Well you should hire [02:16.59] [02:18.08]Some cunning linguist [02:19.16] [02:19.78]To help you distinguish [02:21.15] [02:22.04]What is proper English [02:23.22] [02:24.09]One thing I ask of you [02:25.32]Time to learn your homophones [02:26.37]Is past due [02:27.49]Learn to diagram a sentence too [02:29.46]Always say "to whom" [02:30.42]Don't ever say "to who" [02:31.16]And listen up when I tell you this [02:33.12]I hope you never use quotation [02:34.13]Marks for emphasis [02:35.39]You finished second grade [02:36.07]I hope you can tell [02:37.29]If you're doing good or doing well [02:39.06]About better figure out the difference [02:40.47] [02:41.15]Irony is not coincidence [02:42.95]And I thought that you'd gotten it [02:44.38]Through your skull [02:44.93]What's figurative and what's literal [02:47.18]Oh but just now you said [02:49.46]You literally couldn't get out of bed [02:51.31]That really makes me want to literally [02:52.96]Smack a crowbar upside [02:53.90]Your stupid head [02:54.60]I read your e-mail [02:57.28]It's quite apparent [02:58.38] [02:59.46]Your grammar's errant [03:00.53] [03:01.44]You're incoherent [03:02.54]Saw your blog post [03:04.73] [03:05.33]It's really fantastic [03:06.28] [03:07.31]That was sarcastic [03:08.64](Oh psych ) [03:09.32]'Cause you write like a spastic [03:10.42]I hate these Word Crimes [03:12.39] [03:13.24]Your prose is dopey [03:14.35] [03:15.13]Think you should only [03:16.24] [03:17.20]Write in emoji [03:18.06]Oh you're a lost cause [03:20.43] [03:21.07]Go back to pre-school [03:22.21] [03:22.98]Get out of the gene pool [03:24.24] [03:24.96]Try your best to not drool [03:27.45] [03:27.98]Never mind I give up [03:28.86] [03:32.01]Really now I give up [03:33.16] [03:34.02]Hey hey hey [03:34.74] [03:36.24]Hey hey hey [03:36.85] [03:38.20]Go Away