Handy-Weird Al Yankovic

[ti:Handy] [ar:Weird Al Yankovic] [al:Mandatory Fun] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Handy (便利) - Weird Al Yankovic (“怪人奥尔”扬科维奇) [00:08.39]First things first I'm a craftsman [00:10.07] [00:11.07]Remodelling is my only passion [00:13.59]And I'm the greatest in the business [00:14.99]Want referrals yo [00:16.22]My clientele will bear you witness [00:18.14]I can help when your door jamb sticks [00:20.38]There is nothing in the world I can't fix [00:23.08]I do tiles I do stone I do bricks [00:25.12]Call me I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks [00:28.18]Where you go when your disposal is rusted [00:30.31]Termite problem making you disgusted [00:32.42] [00:33.42]When your front window is busted [00:35.84]Just one man that's always trusted [00:37.96]I'm so handy you already know [00:42.46]I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flows [00:47.78]I'm so handy I'll bring you up to code [00:52.47]When your dishwasher's about to explode [00:56.00] [00:57.50]Now you see that your furnace is needing some service [01:00.12]I'm fully bonded no need to be nervous [01:02.59]Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica [01:05.18]Maybe I'll hook up your dish washer combo dryer [01:07.61]But all your pipes are antique [01:08.74]Your water pressure's too weak [01:09.84]You got an attic full of dry rot [01:11.56]Because your roof sprung a leak [01:12.67]Your fridge is starting to reek [01:13.74]Your hardwood floors really squeak [01:14.88]But don't you worry I'll just show you my amazing technique [01:17.19]Now let me glue that glue that and screw that screw that [01:20.03]Any random chore you got well I can do that do that [01:22.48]Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun [01:24.87]I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one [01:27.77]I'm so handy everyone said so [01:32.44]I'll grout your bathroom resurface your patio [01:36.92] [01:37.73]I'm so handy I'm the guy to know [01:41.88] [01:42.43]When your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh [01:46.05] [01:47.70]Patch the drywall clean your gutters and mow the lawn [01:52.74]Make that phone call I'll install anything you want [01:57.41]Yeah check my big staple gun my socket wrenches are second to none [02:02.77]I won't quit 'til I'm done don't even care if I hammer my thumb [02:07.29] [02:13.82]Still rocking my screwdriver [02:14.65] [02:15.55]Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGuyver [02:18.02]Your heating bills are shocking [02:20.44]I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking [02:23.94]Your house is a disaster huh [02:25.64]Need a guy whose a master with the plaster huh [02:28.63]Let me be your stripper [02:30.24]Taking off lacquer no one does it quicker [02:32.81]I'm so handy you already know [02:37.45]I'll beat all price quotes my hourly rates are low [02:42.63]I'm so handy you should call this pro [02:47.44]I'm in the phone book and se habla Español