Close But No Cigar (Main Version)-Weird Al Yankovic

[ti:Close But No Cigar] [ar:Weird Al Yankovic] [al:Straight Outta Lynwood] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Close But No Cigar (Main Version) - Weird Al Yankovic (“怪人奥尔”扬科维奇) [00:07.63]Jillian was her name [00:10.73]She was sweeter than aspartame [00:13.89] [00:14.86]Her kisses reconfigured my DNA [00:17.96]And after that I never was the same [00:20.38] [00:21.49]And I loved her even more [00:24.31]Than Marlon Brando loved souffle [00:27.81] [00:28.90]She was gorgeous she was charming [00:32.22]Yeah she was perfect in every way [00:35.99]Except she was always using the word "infer" [00:40.32]When she obviously meant "imply" [00:43.67]And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing [00:47.72]But frankly I can't imagine why [00:50.55]And I told her I said [00:51.61]"Hey Are we playing horseshoes honey [00:55.46]No I don't think we are [00:57.88] [00:59.06]You're close (Close ) [01:02.31]But no cigar " [01:03.63] [01:07.02]Then I met sweet young Janet [01:10.05]Prettiest thing on the planet [01:14.57]Had a body hotter than a habanjero [01:17.74]She had lips like a ripe pomegranate [01:20.38] [01:21.15]And I was crazy like Manson about her [01:23.62] [01:24.28]She got me all choked up like Momma Cass [01:27.65] [01:28.49]She had a smile so incredibly radiant [01:31.82]You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass [01:35.44]I thought after all these years of searching around [01:39.66]I'd found my soulmate finally [01:42.88]But one day I found OUT she actually owned a copy [01:46.15] [01:47.34]Of Joe Dirt on DVD [01:49.66]Oh no I said [01:51.22]"Hey Are we lobbing hand grenades kiddo [01:54.70]No I don't think we are [01:57.47] [01:58.45]You're close (Close ) [01:59.88] [02:01.18]Oh so very close (Close ) [02:03.54] [02:04.63]Yeah baby you're close (Close ) [02:07.34]So close [02:08.63]But no cigar " [02:10.03] [02:15.92](Oh yeah ) [02:17.61] [02:19.67](Oh no ) [02:22.41](Oh yeah ) [02:25.15](Oh no ) [02:28.02](ALL RIGHT ) [02:29.00] [02:35.88]Julie played water polo [02:38.16] [02:38.91]She wore a ribbon on her left manolo [02:41.72] [02:42.52]She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near [02:46.28]My heart was beating like a Buddy Rif solo [02:49.12] [02:50.09]And she was everything I've dreamed of [02:53.32]She moved right up to 1 on my list [02:56.34] [02:57.07]And did I mention she's a world famous billionare [03:00.65]Bikini supermodel astrophysicist [03:01.74] [03:04.39]Yeah she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron [03:07.16] [03:08.54]Look like a big fat slobbering pig [03:10.90] [03:12.20]The only caveat is one of her earlobes [03:14.57] [03:15.70]Was just a little tiny bit too big [03:19.73]I said [03:20.04]"Hey Are we doing government work here [03:23.95]No I don't think we are [03:27.36]You're close (Close ) [03:29.18] [03:30.35]So very very close (Close ) [03:32.82]Aaw baby you're close (Close ) [03:36.27]So close [03:37.48]But no cigar " [03:39.52]Missed it by that much (No cigar ) [03:43.20]Ah yeah Ah right (No cigar ) [03:46.89]Really really really close (No cigar )