Bathroom-Dane Cook

[ti:Bathroom] [ar:Dane Cook] [al:I Did My Best - Greatest Hits] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.05]Had to use a public restroom today ugh [00:01.99] [00:03.74]Isn't that the worst when you have to [00:04.99] [00:05.86]God damn it you walk in right [00:12.25]Here's the first thing I don't care [00:13.46]Anywhere in the country you go [00:14.52]Why when you walk into a public restroom [00:16.09]Why is everything f**king wet Right there's puddles [00:22.77]Water all over the counter [00:24.07]It's dripping like you're in a f**king cave [00:25.73] [00:29.16]What happened [00:29.94]Was there like a shaggy dog in there after a bath [00:31.83] [00:32.59]Just came in and [00:33.20] [00:35.40]Then god forbid you have to use the stall right [00:37.47]You go in there you sit down you try to close the door which [00:41.50]Apparently Van Dam kicked in [00:42.89] [00:44.98]Why are they all broken [00:46.07]Who was running in the bathroom [00:47.04]Like I gotta sh*t [00:47.81] [00:48.38]I can't sh*t with a door in front of me [00:50.62] [00:53.12]F**king door [00:54.00]I don't like being in a perfect square when I sh*t [00:56.10] [00:57.49]Good Broken I like that Now I can sh*t [01:01.13] [01:04.67]Door [01:04.94] [01:06.62]Then you're sitting there right [01:07.66] [01:09.45]And then you start to read [01:10.31] [01:13.30]You start reading like all the most evil [01:15.73]Ignorant sh*t ever is all around you You just sit there [01:20.78]It's not just written with pencil it's f**king CARVED [01:23.05] [01:24.97]Who is carving on the toilet [01:26.51] [01:27.65]Who is so pissed off while they're taking a crap they're like [01:30.17]Goddamn Jews [01:31.21] [01:32.31]UGH Blacks [01:33.04] [01:34.06]UGH Here's my favorite too [01:40.00]On the walls someone always has to write [01:42.19]Mike was here [01:43.08] [01:45.05]But then somebody else puts an arrow and writes [01:46.83]Mike is a faggot [01:47.81] [01:51.13]Like Mike is coming back to check it out [01:52.81]What the f**k is this [01:53.55] [01:55.03]I was here but not as a faggot [01:56.54] [01:57.95]I'm trying to make a statement here [01:59.09] [02:07.46]There's always like a girls number always a girls number [02:09.64] [02:11.13]Is anybody ever f**king call [02:12.43] [02:15.03]How did you meet you're wife John I was taking a crap [02:20.58] [02:21.82]Bathroom - Dane Cook