The 'Ole in the Ark-Stanley Holloway
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[00:06.98]One evening at dusk as noah stood on his ark
[00:11.33]Putting green oil in starboard side lamp
[00:14.78]His wife came along and said noah summat's wrong
[00:18.79]Our cabin is getting quite damp
[00:21.79]Noah said is that so then he went down below
[00:25.04]And found it were right what she'd said
[00:27.91]For there on the floor quite a puddle he saw
[00:31.09]It was slopping around under t bed
[00:34.14]Said he there's an ole in the bottom somewhere
[00:37.20]We must find it before we retire
[00:40.17]Then he thowt for a bit and he said aye that's it
[00:43.40]A bloodhound is what we require
[00:46.68]So he went and fetched bloodhound
[00:48.54]From place where it lay
[00:50.98]Tween the skunk and the polecat it were
[00:54.35]And as things there below were a trifle so so
[00:57.93]It were glad of a breath of fresh air
[01:01.11]They followed the sound as it went sniffing round
[01:04.60]Til at last they located the leak
[01:07.28]Twere a small hole in the side about two inches wide
[01:10.62]Where a swordfish had poked in its beak
[01:14.08]And by gum how the wet squirted in through that hole
[01:19.14]Well young shem who at sums was expert
[01:23.03]Worked it out on his slate that it came at the rate
[01:26.26]Of per gallon per second per squirt
[01:30.25]The bloodhound tried hard to keep water in check
[01:33.43]By lapping it up with his tongue
[01:35.79]But it came in so fast through that hole that at last
[01:38.96]He shoved in his nose for a bung
[01:42.00]The poor faithful hound he were very near drowned
[01:46.69]They dragged him away none too soon
[01:50.32]For the stream as it rose pushed its way up his nose
[01:53.69]And blew him up like a balloon
[01:56.60]And then mrs noah shoved her elbow in thole
[02:00.47]And said eh it's stopped I believe
[02:03.60]But they found very soon as she'd altered her tune
[02:06.56]For the water had got up her sleeve
[02:09.85]When she saw as her elbow weren't doing much good
[02:13.57]She said to noah I've an idea
[02:16.95]You sit on the leak and by tend of the week
[02:20.87]There's no knowing the weather may clear
[02:24.57]Noah didn't think much to this notion at all
[02:27.94]But reckoned he'd give it a try
[02:30.35]On the ole down he flopped and the leaking all stopped
[02:34.83]And all except him was quite dry
[02:38.39]They took him his breakfast and dinner and tea
[02:42.23]As day after day there he sat
[02:46.16]Til the rain was all passed and they landed at last
[02:49.83]On top side of mount ararat
[02:53.19]And that is how noah got them all safe ashore
[02:57.97]But ever since then strange to tell
[03:02.00]Them as helped save the ark has all carried a mark
[03:06.20]Aye and all their descendants as well
[03:10.05]That's why dog has a cold nose and ladies cold elbows
[03:17.07]You'll also find if you enquire
[03:20.16]That's why a man takes his coat tails in hand
[03:24.25]And stands with his back to the fire
[03:28.00]
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