The Lion & Albert-Stanley Holloway

[ti:The Lion and Albert] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:The Best of Vintage Comedy Songs] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]The Lion and Albert - Stanley Holloway [00:02.07]There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool [00:04.48]That's noted for fresh air and fun [00:07.07]And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom [00:09.07]Went there with young Albert their son [00:11.52]A grand little lad was young Albert [00:13.85]All dressed in his best quite a swell [00:16.39]With a stick with an orse's ead andle [00:18.81]The finest that Woolworth's could sell [00:21.01] [00:21.57]They didn't think much to the ocean [00:23.51]The waves they was fiddling and small [00:25.97]There was no wrecks and nobody drownded [00:28.71] [00:29.32]Fact nothing to laugh at at all [00:31.35]So seeking for further amusement [00:33.82]They paid and went into the zoo [00:36.06]Where they'd lions and tigers and cam els [00:39.20]And old ale and sandwiches too [00:41.95]There were one great big lion called Wallace [00:44.60] [00:45.22]His nose was all covered with scars [00:47.91]He lay in a som no lent posture [00:51.12]With the side of his face on the bars [00:53.67]Now Albert had heard about lions [00:56.12]How they were ferocious and wild [00:58.67]To see Wallace lying so peaceful [01:01.45]Well it didn't seem right to the child [01:04.05]So straight way the brave little feller [01:06.62]Not showing a morsel of fear [01:09.14]Took is stick with these orse's ead andle [01:11.86]And shoved it in Wallace's ear [01:14.02] [01:14.57]You could see that the lion didn't like it [01:17.33]For giving a kind of a roll [01:19.66]He pulled Albert inside the cage with him [01:22.58]And swallowed the little lad whole [01:25.12] [01:25.70]Then Pa who had seen the occurrence [01:28.63]And didn't know what to do next [01:31.01]Said Mother Yon lions ate Albert [01:34.36] [01:35.05]And Mother said Eeh I am vexed [01:38.45]Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom [01:40.19]Quite rightly when all's said and done [01:42.67]Complained to the Animal Keeper [01:44.76]That the lion had eaten their son [01:46.70] [01:47.30]The keeper was quite nice about it [01:50.52]He said What a nasty mishap [01:52.79] [01:53.39]Are you sure that it's your boy he's eaten [01:55.66] [01:56.26]Pa said Am I sure There's his cap [01:58.76] [01:59.55]The manager had to be sent for [02:01.36]He came and he said What's to do [02:03.67] [02:04.43]Pa said Yon lion's eaten Albert [02:06.74]And him in his Sunday clothes too [02:09.54]Then Mother said Right's right young feller [02:11.97]I think it's a shame and a sin [02:14.22]For a lion to go and eat Albert [02:16.34]And after we've paid to come in [02:18.62]The manager wanted no trouble [02:20.72]He took out his purse right away [02:22.92]Saying How much to settle the matter [02:25.85]Pa said What do you usually pay [02:28.15]But Mother had turned a bit awkward [02:30.63]When she thought where her Albert had gone [02:33.03]She said No someone's got to be summonsed [02:36.59]So that was decided upon [02:38.57]Then after they went to the Police Station [02:40.84]In front of a Magistrate chap [02:42.98]They told him what happened to Albert [02:45.10]And proved it by showing his cap [02:47.64]The Magistrate gave his opinion [02:50.62]That no one was really to blame [02:53.41]And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms [02:54.80] [02:56.06]Would have further sons to their name [02:59.01]At that Mother got proper blazing [03:02.00]And thank you sir kindly said she [03:05.25]What waste all our lives raising children [03:08.42]To feed ruddy lions Not me