Jubilee Sov'rin-Stanley Holloway

[ti:Jubilee Sov'rin] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:Stanley Holloway, Monologues and Songs Vol. 2] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Jubilee Sov'rin - Stanley Holloway [00:07.25]On jubilee day the ramsbottoms [00:09.20] [00:09.96]Asked all their relations to tea [00:12.06] [00:12.88]Including young albert's grandmother [00:14.93] [00:15.51]An awkward old party were she [00:18.31] [00:19.52]She'd seen queen victoria's jub lee [00:22.39]And her wedding to albert the good [00:24.69] [00:25.22]But got quite upset when young albert [00:28.05]Asked how she'd got on in the flood [00:30.10] [00:31.21]She cast quite a damper on party [00:33.57] [00:34.47]But cheered up a bit after tea [00:36.29] [00:37.25]And gave albert a real golden sovrin [00:39.85] [00:40.62]She'd saved since the last jubilee [00:42.86] [00:43.66]It had picture of queen on the one side [00:46.17] [00:46.88]And a dragon fight on the reverse [00:49.14] [00:49.92]And tasted of camphor and cobwebs [00:52.24] [00:53.22]Through being so long in her purse [00:55.49] [00:56.61]Albert cuddled the coin and he kissed it [01:00.03] [01:00.75]And felt the rough edge with his tongue [01:03.05] [01:04.04]For he knew by the look of his father [01:06.21] [01:07.10]It wouldn't be his very longer [01:08.93] [01:10.20]Shall I get your money box alber [01:12.31] [01:13.15]Said mother so coaxing and sweet [01:15.57] [01:16.50]But albert let drop an expression [01:19.45]He must have picked up in the street [01:21.23] [01:22.35]I'll show you a trick with that sovrin [01:24.27] [01:25.00]Said pa who were hovering near [01:27.23] [01:28.12]Then he took and pretended to eat it [01:30.32] [01:31.35]Then brought it back out of his ear [01:33.39] [01:34.50]This magic filled albert with wonder [01:37.13] [01:38.10]And before you could say uncle dick [01:39.92] [01:40.77]He'd got the coin back from his father [01:42.81] [01:43.57]And performed the first part of the trick [01:45.94] [01:47.51]When they saw as he'd swallered his suffering [01:49.90] [01:50.83]With excitement his relatives burned [01:53.26] [01:54.30]And each one suggested some process [01:56.78] [01:57.61]For getting the money returned [01:59.13] [02:00.57]Some were for fishing with tweezers [02:03.03] [02:03.66]Well some were for shaking it out [02:05.78] [02:06.74]If they only got back a few shillings [02:08.87] [02:10.13]They said would be better of the nowt [02:11.92] [02:13.60]They tried holding albert head downwards [02:16.13] [02:16.72]And giving his back a good thump [02:18.71] [02:19.68]Realse uncle who worked for a chemist [02:22.03] [02:22.81]Said there's nowt for it but stummick pump [02:25.85] [02:26.87]They hadn't a stummick pump andy [02:28.83] [02:29.70]But pa did the best that he could [02:32.13]With a bicycle pump as he'd borrowed [02:34.38] [02:35.23]But that weren't a haporth of good [02:37.14] [02:37.98]At the last they to came to the doctor [02:40.01] [02:40.82]Who looked down his throat through a glass [02:43.02] [02:43.86]And said this'll mean operation [02:45.59] [02:46.36]He afraid out to laugh to have gas [02:48.87] [02:50.33]How much is this were going to cost us [02:52.70] [02:53.23]Said father beginning to squirm [02:55.55] [02:56.52]Said the doctor it comes quite expensive [02:58.96] [02:59.61]The best gas is it eightpence a therm [03:01.77] [03:02.83]There's my time four shillings an hour [03:05.37] [03:06.03]You can't do these things in two ticks [03:07.97] [03:09.25]By rights I should charge you a guinea [03:11.27] [03:11.99]But I'll do it for eighteen and six [03:13.97] [03:15.44]What eighteen and six to get sovrin said father [03:19.81]That doesn't sound sense [03:21.27] [03:22.36]I'll tell you what you'd best keep [03:24.58]Albert and give me the odd eighteen pence [03:27.90] [03:29.48]The doctor concurred this arrangement [03:31.53] [03:32.72]But to this day is stands in some doubt [03:35.31] [03:35.86]As to whether he's in eighteen shillings [03:38.33] [03:39.13]Or whether he's eighteen pence out