Sam Goes To It-Stanley Holloway

[ti:Sam Goes To It] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:EMI Comedy Classics] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Sam Goes To It - Stanley Holloway [00:08.88]Sam Small had retired from the Army [00:11.06]In the old Duke of Wellington's time [00:13.26] [00:13.98]So when present unpleasantness started [00:16.65]He were what you might call past his prime [00:19.82]He'd lived for some years in retirement [00:22.56]And knew nowt of war if you please [00:25.90]Till they blasted and bombed his allotment [00:28.71]And shelled the best part of his peas [00:32.14]T were as if bugles called Sam to duty [00:34.94]For his musket he started to search [00:37.47] [00:37.98]He found it at last in the Hen house [00:40.49]Buff Orpingtons had it for perch [00:43.43]Straight off to the Fusilliers' depot [00:46.56]He went to rejoin his old troop [00:49.08]Where he found as they couldn't recruit Him [00:52.18]Until his age group was called up [00:55.13]Now Sam wasn't getting no younger [00:58.16]Past the three score and ten years was he [01:01.25]And he reckoned by time they reached his age group [01:04.07]He'd be very near ten score and three [01:06.77] [01:07.28]So he took up the matter with Churchill [01:09.20] [01:09.99]Who said I don't know what to do [01:13.61]Never was there a time when so many [01:16.88]Came asking so much from so few [01:20.74]I don't want no favours Sam answered [01:23.57]Don't think as I'm one of that mob [01:26.09]All I'm asking is give me the tools lad [01:29.44]And let me help finish the job [01:31.96]I'll fit you in somewhere said Winnie [01:34.93]Old soldiers we must not discard [01:37.61] [01:38.84]Then seeing he'd got his own musket [01:41.68]He sent him to join the Home Guard [01:44.64]They gave Sam a coat with no stripes on [01:47.91]In spite of the service he'd seen [01:50.44]Which considering he'd been a King's sergeant [01:53.77]Kind of rankled you know what I mean [01:56.86]He said I come back to the Army [01:59.99]Expecting my country's thanks [02:02.65]And the first thing I find when I get here [02:05.41]Is that I've been reduced to the ranks [02:08.07]He found all the lads sympathetic [02:10.74]They agreed that 'twere a disgrace [02:13.58]Except one old chap in the corner [02:16.51]With a nutcracker kind of a face [02:19.21]Said the old fella Who do you think you are [02:22.78]The last to appear on the scene [02:25.49]And you start off by wanting promotion [02:27.68] [02:28.93]Last come last served see what I mean [02:32.81]Said Sam Wasn't I at Corunna [02:35.64]And when company commander got shot [02:37.92]Didn't I lead battalion to victory [02:40.33]Said the old fella No you did not [02:43.86] [02:44.40]I didn't said Sam quite indignent [02:46.96]Why in every fight Wellington fought [02:48.61] [02:49.49]Wasn't I at his right hand to guard him [02:52.55]Said old chap You were nowt of the sort [02:56.83]What do you know of Duke and his battles [02:59.16]Said Sam with a whithering look [03:01.57]Said the old man I ought to know something [03:04.85] [03:05.53]Between you and me I'm the Duke [03:08.96] [03:09.56]And if you should look in any evening [03:12.57]You'll find them both in the canteen [03:15.47]Ex Commander in Chief and ex Sergeant [03:18.72]Both just Home Guards you know what I mean