Many Happy Returns-Stanley Holloway

[00:10.64]Down at the school house at runcorn [00:13.55]The eadmaster walked in one day [00:16.33]Looking all appy and cheerful [00:19.18]Which wasn't his habit they say [00:21.80]The boys were completely dumbfounded [00:25.56]And whispered hello what's to do [00:28.71]But the headmaster still went on smiling [00:31.92]And said boys I've some good news for you [00:36.43]It's like this today is my birthday [00:40.25]So it's no time for classes and such [00:43.44]You can go but the boys were too staggered [00:47.57]To even say thanks very much [00:50.83]They could scarcely believe their own earoles [00:54.90]As they welcomed these tidings so bright [00:58.47]But soon they all cheered to the echo [01:01.67]And very near busted with delight [01:05.14]Said headmaster now there's no hurry [01:08.46]Before very long you'll be free [01:11.66]But seeing as how it's me birthday [01:15.02]How old would you take me to be [01:18.47]Well the boys didn't like this delaying [01:22.06]And one of the younger ones swore [01:24.99]At the silly old fool of a master [01:27.71]And the satisfied smile that he wore [01:31.24]He didn't swear any too loudly [01:34.10]Or he'd have been out on the mat [01:36.60]For calling the master a silly old beggar [01:40.38]Or something that sounded like that [01:43.40]I bet you won't guess it correctly [01:46.26]The headmaster went on with a wink [01:48.96]Couse I've got a sort of a notion [01:52.15]I'm not quite as old as you think [01:55.96]A new boy jumpeel up and guessed twenty [01:59.57]In the hopes that he'd get off for a week [02:02.29]While another one guessed ninety seven [02:05.67]Although with his tongue in his cheek [02:08.99]Said the headmaster don't let's be funny [02:12.22]Or you'll be here all day I can see [02:15.26]So who'll give a serious guess now [02:18.03]Come onjust between you and me [02:21.55]Then in walked the junior tutor [02:24.52]In a very old mortar board hat [02:27.78]He said I hear there's a game on [02:31.26]Well I'd like a basin of that [02:34.59]Said the headmaster mind your own business [02:37.57]And kindly do not interfere [02:40.60]Or you'll lose half your rasher of bacon [02:43.80]And all your allowance of beer [02:46.88]The tutor said don't be a cad sir [02:50.08]I don't wish to make any noise [02:52.95]But you might at least try to be sporting [02:56.15]If only in front of the boys [02:59.22]With that he swept out of the classroom [03:02.39]Fearing the look that he saw [03:04.85]For he knew that in less than two seconds [03:08.04]He'd get such a sock in the jaw [03:11.71]Then in came the language professor [03:14.97]French teaching was one of his jobs [03:18.06]So he bowed to the head and said Bonjour [03:22.39]And the head said bonjour avec knobs [03:26.46]But if you've come here to give lessons [03:28.82]You can take it from me it's no bon [03:31.87]Because today's a holiday savvy [03:34.94]So you might as well aIlez vous en [03:38.16]Then a small voice called sir why it's easy [03:42.65]Forty four is your age I should say [03:45.94]Said the master now what a remarkable thing [03:49.94]You've guessed my right age to the day [03:53.61]Said the boy Well my brother is just twenty two [03:58.15]Said the headmaster What's that to me [04:01.56]Well Sir if he's twenty two you must be forty four [04:06.63]Couse he's only half barmy see [04:10.12]Then the whole class joined in the school anthem [04:13.68]Which nobody wanted to shirk [04:16.35]For he's a jolly good fellow [04:20.05]So long as we don't have to work [04:24.50]