Albert & The 'Eadsman-Stanley Holloway

[00:06.75]On young Albert Ramsbottom's birthday [00:09.81]His parents asked what he'd like most [00:12.88]He said to see t Tower of London [00:15.59]And gaze upon Anne Boleyn's ghost [00:19.13]They thowt this request were unusual [00:22.14]And at first to refuse were inclined [00:25.46]Til Pa said a trip t metrollopse [00:28.64]Might broaden the little lad's mind [00:32.06]They took charrybank up to London [00:34.88]And got there at quarter to fower [00:37.64]Then seeing as pubs wasn't open [00:40.35]They went straight away to the tower [00:43.37]They didn't think much to the buildin [00:46.14]T weren't what they'd been led to suppose [00:49.11]And the Bad Word' Tower didn't impress them [00:52.26]They said Blackpool had got one of those [00:55.46]At last Albert found a Beefeater [00:58.47]And filled the old chap with alarm [01:01.38]By asking for Ghost of Anne Boleyn [01:04.29]As carried her ead neath her arm [01:07.33]Said Beefeater You ought to come Fridays [01:10.78]If it's ghost of Anne Boleyn you seek [01:13.90]Her union now limits her output [01:16.91]And she only gets one walk a week [01:20.14]But he said if it's ghosts that you're after [01:23.76]There's Lady Jane Grey's to be seen [01:26.91]She runs around chased by the Eadsman [01:29.92]At midnight on the old Tower Green [01:33.91]They waited on t green till near midnight [01:37.29]Then thinking they'd time for a sup [01:40.13]They took out what food they'd brought with them [01:43.07]And waited for t ghost to turn up [01:46.49]On the first stroke of twelve up jumped Albert [01:50.40]His mouth full of cold dripping toast [01:53.87]With his stick with the orses ead andle [01:56.83]He pointed and said Here's the ghost [02:00.97]They felt their skins going all goosey [02:04.61]As Lady Jane's Spectre drew near [02:07.96]And Albert fair swallered his tonsils [02:11.14]When the Eadsman an all did appear [02:14.26]The Eadsman chased Jane round the grass patch [02:17.72]They saw his axe flash in the moon [02:20.89]And seeing as poor lass were eadless [02:24.09]They wondered what what next he would prune [02:27.50]He suddenly caught sight of Albert [02:30.94]As midnight was on its last chime [02:34.25]As he lifted his axe father murmered [02:37.78]We'll get the insurance this time [02:41.03]At that Mother rose taking umbridge [02:44.66]She said Put that cleaver away [02:47.58]You're not cutting our Albert's ead off [02:50.39]Yon collar were clean on today [02:53.55]The brave little lad stood undaunted [02:56.64]Til the ghost were within half a pace [02:59.72]Then taking the toast he were eating [03:02.60]Slapped it dripping side down in his face [03:06.99]T were a proper set back for the Eadsman [03:09.87]He let out one owl of despair [03:12.81]Then taking his ladyfriend with him [03:15.45]He disappeared just like that there [03:19.40]When Pa saw the way as they vanished [03:22.86]He trembled with fear and looked blue [03:26.06]Til Ma went and patted his shoulder [03:28.98]An said Sallright lad we saw it too [03:33.46]Some say twere the drippin as done it [03:36.19]From a roast leg of mutton it came [03:38.93]And as the Eadsman had been a Beefeater [03:42.08]They reckon he vanished from shame [03:45.19]And around Tower Green from that moment [03:48.84]They've nere seen a sign of the ghost [03:52.25]But when t Beefeaters go on night duty [03:55.81]They take slices of cold drippin toast