What About Mouthwash? (explicit)-Trevor Moore

[ti:What About Mouthwash? (explicit)] [ar:Trevor Moore] [al:Drunk Texts To Myself] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]What About Mouthwash? (explicit) - Trevor Moore [00:12.73]Me and Jesse's cousin [00:14.08] [00:14.91]Went to the Chevron after work [00:16.91] [00:18.74]To grab a couple sixers and some beefy jerk [00:22.26] [00:24.75]The man behind the counter [00:26.31] [00:27.02]Said he'd like to see ID [00:29.07] [00:30.73]I handed him one of a guy who sorta looked like me [00:34.38] [00:36.66]He frowned and asked me what was my address [00:39.56] [00:42.72]I knew the street but I couldn't quite get the rest [00:45.98] [00:48.74]I said I'd lost my real ID [00:50.86] [00:51.50]And that we would pay him double [00:53.34] [00:54.73]We swore that we weren't cops and that he wouldn't get in trouble [00:58.53] [01:00.73]He smiled and said "I'm sorry [01:02.23] [01:02.83]But it's already 12:04 [01:04.73] [01:06.06]And the state says it's too late to sell alcohol any more" [01:11.11] [01:12.38]Sadly we went to put back the beer [01:15.79] [01:18.00]But then a bottle caught my eye and I got an idea [01:23.59]What about mouthwash [01:25.20] [01:26.53]What about huffing paint [01:28.44] [01:29.95]You don't need ID to buy it [01:32.56] [01:33.09]And you can't arrive too late [01:35.52]What about mouthwash [01:37.38] [01:38.64]What about smelling glue [01:40.45] [01:41.95]If they say you can't buy liquor [01:44.29] [01:44.89]Then some cough syrup should do [01:47.29] [01:48.08]Before we count this night up as a loss [01:51.97] [01:53.77]What about mouthwash [01:55.35] [01:59.64]Sittin' in the truck in the parking lot [02:02.04] [02:02.61]Underneath the moon and all them stars [02:05.15] [02:06.71]We don't need their liquor stores and we don't need their bars [02:10.72] [02:12.09]Drinking Listerine and tonic [02:14.15] [02:14.96]And Jesse's cousin sipped a Scope and Coke [02:17.28] [02:18.72]Robitussin Red Bull now that sh*t ain't no joke [02:22.47] [02:24.37]But something changed within me at that store [02:27.86] [02:29.80]Beer and spirits just don't cut it any more [02:33.86] [02:36.73]The whispers that I hear [02:38.16] [02:38.99]And the looks that I keep gettin' [02:41.28] [02:42.01]When I toast with a Dimetapp daiquiri at a fancy wedding [02:46.43] [02:48.01]And last night a cop pulled me over [02:50.23] [02:51.12]Goin' down 95 South [02:53.25] [02:54.12]And he saw the Sherwin-Williams all over my nose and mouth [02:58.51] [03:00.30]He just looked straight at me [03:02.25] [03:03.16]With pity in his eyes [03:05.39] [03:06.20]Like he'd just seen the depths of sadness a man can have inside [03:10.34] [03:12.07]And the lengths to which he'll go [03:14.24] [03:14.92]To numb it down for another day [03:17.09] [03:18.73]He looked as if he'd cry but then he just walked away [03:22.58] [03:24.26]I watched as he drove off down the Interstate [03:27.55] [03:30.14]And then I thought to myself [03:32.21] [03:32.94]That's another reason this stuff's great [03:35.67]What about mouthwash [03:37.03] [03:38.60]What about sniffing glue [03:40.50] [03:41.94]When the police pull you over [03:44.33] [03:44.93]They ain't sure what to do [03:47.41]What about mouthwash [03:49.19] [03:50.42]Or even hand sanitizer [03:52.33] [03:54.03]When they check your glove compartment [03:56.13] [03:56.96]They won't be none the wiser [03:59.14] [03:59.99]Before we count this night up as a loss [04:03.81] [04:05.26]Say what about mouthwash [04:07.13] [04:11.68]What about mouthwash