Good Advice (LP版)-Allan Sherman

[ti:Good Advice] [ar:Allan Sherman] [al:Allan In Wonderland (US Release)] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Good Advice (LP版) - Allan Sherman [00:10.82]I know a man named Otis who invented a room [00:13.57] [00:14.12]And his heart was filled with pride [00:16.59] [00:17.66]I said to Mr Otis ＂What does your room do ＂ [00:21.35]He said ＂It goes from side to side ＂ [00:23.97] [00:25.02]So I said ＂Mr Otis if you take my advice [00:27.98] [00:28.51]You'll be the richest man in town [00:30.93] [00:31.72]You gotta take that room that goes from side to side [00:35.68]And make it go up and down ＂ [00:38.19] [00:38.74]And that was good advice good advice [00:42.47] [00:43.21]Good advice costs nothing and it＇s worth the price [00:46.37] [00:46.92]I sincerely doubt [00:48.18]That the world could do without [00:49.97]My good advice [00:52.28] [00:57.44]Sir Isaac Newton came around to my house one day [01:00.75]His face was all sunburned and red [01:03.25] [01:04.31]He said he didn't want to sleep in the shade of a tree [01:07.84]Because an apple might fall on his head [01:09.91] [01:11.37]I said ＂Sir Isaac you dumbbell take my advice [01:14.50] [01:15.28]Go right back there and sleep beneath that tree [01:17.61] [01:18.39]And if you let that rotten apple fall down on your head [01:21.74] [01:22.34]Why you'll discover gravity ＂ [01:24.64] [01:26.68]And that was good advice good advice [01:29.27] [01:30.10]Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [01:33.02] [01:33.63]The world's a better place [01:35.06]Since I gave the human race [01:37.00]My good advice [01:39.49] [01:44.56]A man named Mr Waterman invented a tube [01:47.23] [01:47.96]He was sad because it sprung a little leak [01:50.31] [01:51.48]He said ＂Darn it when I hold my tube on a piece of paper [01:54.68] [01:55.48]The ink leaks out and makes a little streak ＂ [01:58.10] [01:59.07]He said ＂I've gotta find a way to stop that leak [02:01.83] [02:02.44]I'll start working on my leakproof tube again ＂ [02:05.23] [02:05.94]I said ＂Waterman you idiot don't stop that leak [02:09.21] [02:09.81]You just invented a fountain pen ＂ [02:12.03] [02:13.59]And that was good advice good advice [02:16.78] [02:17.62]Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [02:20.58] [02:21.32]I'm so worldly wise [02:22.81]I should get the Nobel Prize [02:24.69]For good advice [02:26.65] [02:32.40]Good old Henry Ford he was a hardworking man [02:34.92] [02:35.51]He worked all night and all day [02:37.74] [02:38.89]I said ＂Henry watcha doing ＂ [02:40.93]And Henry he said ＂I'm inventing the Chevrolet ＂ [02:45.36] [02:46.58]He said ＂I've already built twenty-five models [02:48.86] [02:50.02]One for each letter from A to Z ＂ [02:52.82] [02:53.55]I said ＂Henry you fool there are twenty-six letters in the alphabet [02:57.03]He said ＂Good heavens I forgot the Model T ＂ [03:00.03] [03:00.66]And that was good advice good advice [03:05.14]Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [03:07.83] [03:08.52]It's fruitful as can be [03:10.20]And it's absolutely free [03:11.52] [03:12.07]My good advice [03:14.53] [03:19.88]Wilbur and Orville were two brothers named Wright [03:22.37] [03:22.99]The nicest pair of kids you've ever seen [03:25.27] [03:26.65]They worked twelve years on a secret project [03:29.58]They thought it was a washing machine [03:32.49] [03:33.70]I said ＂Fellas what are all those wings for ＂ [03:37.07]They said ＂For hanging clothes out to dry ＂ [03:40.07] [03:40.92]I said ＂You fools take that washing machine out to Kitty Hawk [03:44.28] [03:44.79]And see if the darn thing all fly ＂ [03:47.81] [03:48.56]And that was good advice good advice [03:52.53]Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [03:55.41] [03:56.20]I'm so smart that I'm [03:57.64]Gonna win a Guggenheim [03:59.59]For good advice [04:03.78] [04:10.12](One more time) [04:11.31] [04:23.63]Benjamin Franklin was a charming old man [04:25.86] [04:26.43]He was always flying his kite [04:28.84] [04:30.18]One night I said ＂Benjy why ain't you out with your kite ＂ [04:34.24]He said ＂Because it's raining tonight ＂ [04:36.39] [04:37.52]I said ＂Benjy sweety you go right back out there [04:40.79] [04:41.40]And to your kite string tie a key [04:43.57] [04:44.95]This may shock you Benjy my boy [04:48.71]But that's electricity ＂ [04:50.54] [04:52.95]And that was good advice good advice [04:55.90] [04:56.48]Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [04:59.42] [05:00.28]I'll be fond of you [05:01.85]If you'll only listen to [05:03.47]My good advice [05:08.30] [05:11.81]Ooga Magoog was a Neanderthal man [05:13.98] [05:14.62]A very poorly educated soul [05:18.45]He had a great big square thing made of solid stone [05:22.17]And in the middle of it was a hole [05:24.63] [05:25.97]One day he had to go from his cave in Natchez [05:29.93]To his uncle's cave in Mobile [05:31.82] [05:32.81]I said ＂Round off those corners [05:35.02]And buy a set of tires [05:37.29]And Ooky baby that's a wheel ＂ [05:39.17] [05:41.42]And that was good advice good advice [05:43.77] [05:44.55]Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [05:47.39] [05:48.17]Harvard offered me [05:49.42]A Phi Beta Kappa key [05:51.43]For good advice [05:53.93] [05:59.23]Sigmund Freud he had an unfurnished house [06:02.00] [06:02.59]He was a very nosy fellow so it seems [06:05.00] [06:06.33]He had no chairs [06:07.53]So he made all his friends stand around all day [06:10.02]And tell him all their secrets and their dreams [06:12.36] [06:13.41]Well while they stood there talking till they got fallen arches [06:16.50] [06:17.27]They yelled ＂My feet are killing me Ouch ＂ [06:19.83] [06:20.52]I said ＂Sigmund don't you realize you've got a gold mine here [06:24.06] [06:24.60]Go out and buy yourself a leather couch ＂ [06:27.39]And that was good advice good advice [06:29.92] [06:32.34]Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [06:35.29] [06:36.13]Every word you're told [06:37.44]Will be 18 karat gold [06:39.45]That's good advice [06:41.87] [06:47.34]Alexander Graham Bell was building a fence [06:50.52]With some wood and a long piece of wire [06:52.99] [06:54.13]He said ＂There's something strange going on around here [06:57.08] [06:57.92]I keep hearing the voice of Uncle Myer ＂ [07:00.55] [07:01.52]I said ＂Mr Graham Cracker ＂ (that was my little joke) [07:04.57] [07:05.21]＂With that wire you got the world in your palm [07:07.63] [07:08.58]Just get a mouthpiece and an earpiece and a piece in between [07:11.96] [07:12.52]And you'll sponsor The Telephone Hour ＂ [07:15.45] [07:17.13]And that was good advice good advice [07:20.38]Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [07:23.16] [07:24.07]Every word ya hear [07:25.37]Is the message of the year [07:27.33]It's good advice [07:29.46] [07:35.22]Christopher Columbus was a seaman second class [07:38.29]When I told him that the Indies could be found [07:40.78] [07:42.11]By sailing to the West instead of sailing to the East [07:45.48]I advised him that I thought the world was round [07:48.37](I really thought so ) [07:49.29]And then I sent him down to ask good Queen Isabella [07:52.80]To pawn her jewels for all their worth [07:55.45] [07:56.76]Next day he set sail and as everyone knows [08:00.27]He fell off the edge of the Earth [08:02.67] [08:03.50]And that was bad advice bad advice [08:06.97] [08:08.13]Bad advice is just the same as good advice [08:11.05] [08:11.75]Everybody makes [08:13.36]Occasional mistakes [08:15.30]And that was bad advice