It Makes a Fellow Proud to be a Soldier-Tom Lehrer

[ti:It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier] [ar:Tom Lehrer] [al:In Concert] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]It Makes a Fellow Proud to be a Soldier - Tom Lehrer [00:00.59]I have only comparatively recently emerged from the [00:03.22]United States Army [00:04.28]So that I am now of course in the radioactive reserve [00:07.05] [00:08.06]And the usual jokes about the Army aside [00:11.33]One of the many fine things one [00:12.61]Has to admit is the way that the Army has carried the [00:15.63]American democratic ideal to its logical conclusion [00:18.38]In the sense that not only do they prohibit discrimination [00:21.31]On the grounds of race creed [00:23.03]And color but also on [00:24.52]The grounds of ability [00:25.83] [00:36.60]Be that as it may [00:37.55]Some of you may recall the publicity [00:39.35]A few years ago [00:40.23]Attendant upon the Army's search for [00:42.27]An official Army song to be the counterpart of the Navy's [00:45.69]Anchors Aweigh and the Air Force's [00:48.23]Up In The Air Junior Birdman and so on [00:50.07] [00:51.34]I was I was in basic training at [00:57.34]The time and I recall our platoon sergeant [01:00.34] [01:01.27]Who was an unfrocked Marine [01:03.14] [01:06.52]Actually Actually the change of service [01:11.36]Had come as quite a blow to him because it meant that [01:13.77]He had to memorize a new serial number which took up [01:15.50]Most of his time [01:16.29] [01:24.71]At any rate [01:25.45]I recall this sergeant's informing me and [01:27.75]My roommates of this rather deplorable fact [01:36.76]That the Army didn't have any official [01:38.35]Excuse me didn't have [01:39.58]No official song and suggested that [01:43.94] [01:44.82]Suggested that we work on this in [01:46.41]Our copious free time [01:47.47] [01:48.90]Well I submitted the following song [01:51.16]Which is called [01:51.91]It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier [01:53.88]Which I think demonstrates the proper spirit [01:56.05]You'll agree However the fact that it did not win the [01:58.98]Contest I can ascribe only to blatant favoritism on part [02:01.72]Of the judges [02:02.55] [02:06.88]The heart of every man in our platoon must swell with pride [02:10.36]For the nation's youth [02:11.41]The cream of which is marching at his side [02:13.82]For the fascinating rules and regulations that we share [02:17.59]And the quaint and curious costumes [02:19.27]That we're called upon to wear [02:21.09] [02:26.65]Now Al joined up to do his part defending you and me [02:29.90] [02:30.57]He wants to fight and bleed and kill and die for liberty [02:34.24]With the hell of war he's come to grips [02:36.60]Policing up the filter tips [02:38.51]It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier [02:41.72] [02:44.59]When Pete was only in the seventh grade [02:47.15]He stabbed a cop [02:48.05] [02:48.58]He's real R A material and he was glad to swap [02:52.21]His switchblade and his old zip gun [02:54.15]For a bayonet and a new M-1 [02:55.95]It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier [02:59.47] [03:00.99]After Johnny got through basic training he [03:03.18] [03:04.61]Was a soldier through and through when he was done [03:07.52] [03:08.10]Its effects were so well rooted [03:09.90]That the next day he saluted [03:11.62]A Good Humor man an usher and a nun [03:13.82] [03:20.14]Now Fred's an intellectual [03:22.22]Brings a book to every meal [03:24.27]He likes the deep philosophers [03:25.92]Like Norman Vincent Peale [03:27.41] [03:29.72]He thinks the army's just the thing [03:32.10]Because he finds it broadening [03:34.23]It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier [03:37.62] [03:41.44]Now Ed flunked out of second grade [03:43.27]And never finished school [03:44.32] [03:44.94]He doesn't know a shelter half from an entrenching tool [03:48.19]But he's going to be a big success [03:50.44]He heads his class at OCS [03:52.30]It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier [03:55.08] [03:56.89]Our old mess sergeant's taste buds [03:58.82]Had been shot off in the war [04:00.11] [04:01.26]But his savory collations add to our esprit de corps [04:04.53] [04:05.24]To think of all the marvelous ways [04:07.14]They're using plastics nowadays [04:09.10]It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier [04:12.14] [04:14.44]Our lieutenant is the up and coming type [04:16.73] [04:17.81]Played with soldiers as a boy you just can bet [04:20.21] [04:21.35]It is written in the stars [04:22.80]He will get his captain's bars [04:24.85]But he hasn't got enough box tops yet [04:27.26] [04:29.90]Our captain has a handicap to cope with sad to tell [04:33.67]He's from Georgia [04:34.89]And he doesn't speak the language very well [04:36.67] [04:37.69]He used to be so rumor has [04:39.76]The Dean of Men at Alcatraz [04:41.92]It makes a fellow proud to be [04:43.72]What as a kid I vowed to be [04:45.51]What luck to be allowed to be a soldier [04:50.56]At ease