Clementine-Tom Lehrer

[ti:Clementine] [ar:Tom Lehrer] [al:In Concert] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Clementine - Tom Lehrer [00:00.72]I should like to consider the folk song [00:02.66]And expound briefly on a theory I have held [00:04.88]For some time to the effect that the reason [00:07.47]Most folk songs are so atrocious is that they [00:09.92]Were written by the people [00:11.16] [00:15.59]If professional songwriters had written them [00:17.79]Instead things might have turned out considerably [00:19.58]Differently For example consider the old favorite [00:22.27]With which I'm sure you're all familiar [00:23.83]Clementine you know [00:25.25]In a cavern in a canyon [00:26.88]Dadada dadadada [00:28.41] [00:29.04]A song with no recognizable merit whatsoever [00:32.17] [00:33.08]And imagine what might have happened if for example [00:35.53] [00:36.11]Cole Porter had tried writing this song [00:37.61] [00:38.17]The first verse might have come out like this [00:40.33] [00:48.57]In a cavern [00:50.73] [00:52.35]In a canyon [00:54.04] [00:55.57]Excava hay hay hehting for [00:58.35] [00:59.39]A mine [01:00.30] [01:01.19]Far away from the boom boom boom [01:03.55] [01:04.77]Of the city [01:05.53] [01:06.43]She was so pretty [01:07.72]What a pity Clementine [01:09.39] [01:12.10]Oh Clementine [01:13.33] [01:14.31]Can't you tell from the howls of me [01:18.91]This love of mine [01:20.15] [01:21.51]Calls to you from the bowels of me [01:25.45] [01:26.87]Are you dis cerning [01:29.57]The returning [01:30.30]Of this churning [01:31.27]Burning [01:31.84] [01:32.76]Yearning for you [01:38.03]And [01:39.17]Well supposing at this point that Mozart [01:44.43] [01:46.88]Or one of that crowd had tried writing a verse [01:56.33]The next one might've come out as a baritone aria [01:58.61]From an Italian opera somewhat along these lines: [02:00.78] [02:09.23]Era legera e come un fairy [02:11.79] [02:12.59]E suo shoes numero nine [02:15.58] [02:16.19]Herring bo ho ho hoxes sans a to ho ho hopses [02:19.35]Sandalae per Clementina si [02:22.16]Per Clementina si [02:23.70]For Clementine [02:24.54]Per Clementina sandalae [02:25.33]Sandals for Clementine [02:26.11]Per Clementina sandalae [02:26.95]Sandals for Clementine [02:28.03]Clementina Clementina Cleh eh eh ehmentina [02:35.06]Herring boxes sans a topses sandalae per Clementina [02:37.47]Herring boxes without topses sandals for Clementine [02:39.83]Che sciagura Clementina [02:40.93]Che sciagura Clementina [02:42.28]Cara Clementina [02:43.61]Cara Clementina na na na na na na na [02:46.72]Beloved Clementine [02:47.85] [02:55.34]Upposing at this rather dramatic juncture in [02:57.57]The narrative one ofour modern cool school of composers [03:01.49]Had tried writing a verse thenext one might've come out [03:03.94]A like this [03:04.46] [03:12.37]Drove those ducklings to the water yprach [03:14.99]Doodilehdoodoot yah hah [03:16.63] [03:17.60]Every mornin' like nine a m awhoopah [03:19.43] [03:19.97]Doodileh doo doo doodilidah [03:21.76] [03:22.31]Got a hung upon a splinter [03:23.53]Got a hung upon a splinter klooglimah [03:25.49] [03:26.08]Hoo hoot [03:26.91] [03:28.78]Fell into the foamy brine [03:30.22]Dig that crazy Clementine man [03:32.48] [03:44.77]To end on a happy note one can always count [03:48.11]On Gilbert and Sullivan for a rousig finale full of words [03:54.00]And music and signifying nothing [03:56.38] [04:11.56]That I missed her depressed her [04:12.57]Young sister named Esther [04:13.69]This mister to pester the tried [04:15.36]Now a pestering sister's a festering blister [04:17.24]You're best to resist her say I [04:19.07]The mister resisted [04:19.88]The sister persisted [04:20.65]When I kissed her all loyalty slipped [04:22.51]When she said I could have her [04:24.00]Her sister's cadaver [04:24.73]Must surely have turned in its crypt [04:26.29]Yes yes yes yes [04:29.01] [04:29.52]But I love she and she loves me [04:31.35]And raptured are the both of we [04:32.99]Yes I love she and she loves I [04:34.68] [04:35.73]And will through all eterni tye [04:39.91]See what I mean