Calling Home-Adam Sandler/Betsy Hammer/Elmo Weber
语种 : 英语
时长 : 09:00
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[00:03.42]I'm okay at basketball baseball was more my thing
[00:06.96]Well uh I think they have a pickup game goin on at 10 AM tomorrow
[00:10.44]Morning in the main gym for us freshmen
[00:12.72]You playin
[00:14.25]It's a co ed game so it's a good chance to see some hungover chicks run
[00:17.97]Up and down the court watch their titties bounce and hopefully have them
[00:21.39]Back up into your morning d**k wood while you D up
[00:23.91]That could be nice
[00:25.26]You wanna head over to that frat party and start shotgunning some beers
[00:27.84]Just give me a few minutes I gotta call my family tell em I'm all
[00:30.66]Situated here
[00:31.98]Good deal I'll be in the bathroom whackin it
[00:33.24]Phone dials and rings
[00:43.86]That's because Mrs Snidel had her eyebrows and babushka lasered
[00:48.18]Off hello
[00:48.99]Hey mom I'm at school I'm all moved in everything's great
[00:52.20]Oh wonderful what side of the room did you take
[00:55.14]You mean left or right or what do you mean
[00:57.72]What side of the room Did you go window or electrical outlet
[01:01.08]There's like five outlets and the window's in the middle of me and
[01:04.59]My roommate
[01:05.67]Oh so everyone wins how nice Does your roommate do e*****y or
[01:09.54]Snort heroine
[01:10.71]I didn't ask him mom
[01:12.00]Well if he does tell him you're not interested Not because you're a
[01:14.85]Nerd but say it gives you bad diareah
[01:17.10]Okay ma sounds good
[01:18.39]Yeah
[01:18.81]I gotta get goin there's an orientation party that's mandatory for
[01:21.99]Freshmen to attend
[01:23.34]Oh you should bring cupcakes When you hand them out to the other
[01:26.34]Kids you say 'hi my name's Tyler here's to a sweet first year at
[01:30.18]College '
[01:31.17]Uh okay
[01:32.01]You won't but you should
[01:33.27]I will next time say hi to everybody for me mom
[01:36.27]You say hello It'll take you two seconds They're all at the dinner table
[01:39.57]Dying to talk to you Everyone Tyler's on the phone
[01:42.54]Man:Hey hey hey Mr College
[01:44.43]Woman:Who's on the phone
[01:46.17]Mom:Tyler mom
[01:47.07]Other Man:Let me talk to the superstar
[01:49.05]Mom:Okay here's your brother
[01:50.19]Other Man:Thanks mumsy Hey s**tstains how's it hangin
[01:53.85]Not bad Pete It's pretty awesome here
[01:56.49]You gettin laid yet
[01:57.81]Nah just unpacked
[01:59.40]But I'm sure you found time to smoke a few d**ks and lick a few asses right
[02:03.99]Nooo
[02:04.71]How's the dining hall Full of tasty beaver
[02:07.44]Yeah there were a lot of cute girls and the food wasn't too bad either
[02:10.94]They actually served chicken parmigian
[02:12.72]Why don't you slap some of that parmigian cheese on a big fat pair of
[02:16.20]College jugs and have them for dinner you f**kin d**kwacker
[02:19.92]I'll work on that
[02:23.37]DER Anyways I talked to a couple of my landscaping buddies and we
[02:26.13]Figured that we got a long weekend with you in early Rocktober cause
[02:29.46]Ronnie James Dio is playin up there
[02:31.38]Oh okay
[02:32.64]Tell your roommate I got his bed
[02:34.92]Uh you can sleep in my bed
[02:36.36]That's where Fitz is sleepin you f**kin asshole
[02:38.55]Man:Hey I just wanna say hello Give me the phone
[02:42.51]Pete:Alright dad Sorry I didn't go to college like Alfred Einstein here but
[02:46.50]I'm a person too
[02:48.12]Dad:Just give me the phone moron How you doin kiddo
[02:51.93]Good dad
[02:52.77]You enjoyin your freedom
[02:53.97]Yeah
[02:54.93]Don't get anyone pregnant
[02:56.10]I won't
[02:57.09]Okay here's your grandma
[02:58.32]Dad I don't have time
[03:00.24]Dad:Say hello there
[03:01.35]Grandma:Who is it The ladies from the classical shop
[03:02.31]Pete:No grandma it's the pharmacy
[03:07.80]Grandma:Oh good Hi Dimitri did the cream for my vaginal warts
[03:10.89]Come in Cause like we're talkin about they're starting to spread
[03:14.49]Towards the anus
[03:16.71]Pete:Hahahahaha
[03:16.89]Grandma it's not Dimitri it's Tyler
[03:20.19]Oh hi Bubbie why aren't you here We're getting ready to eat
[03:23.28]Grandma we talked this morning remember I went away to school
[03:27.03]Oh how marvelous Well don't study too much or you'll drive yourself
[03:31.05]Bananas Take some time for yourself too
[03:33.54]Thanks grandma I will
[03:34.98]College is supposed to be fun
[03:36.99]Yeah
[03:37.44]I had my first gal on gal experience in college
[03:41.04]Ooh
[03:41.55]Dee Snyder was her name too much hair downstairs not for me
[03:46.56]That's nice grandma
[03:48.24]Alright don't pierce your nipples
[03:50.13]I won't
[03:51.66]Pete:You didn't know grandma dyked out before did ya
[03:54.27]No fortunately she never told me
[03:56.43]Have fun gettin that image out of your head tonight when you beat your meat
[04:00.12]Thanks
[04:00.60]Uh oh dude Someone else wants to say hello
[04:09.75]Fart
[04:10.02]Hahahahaha Did you hear that beef
[04:11.70]Yeah nice job
[04:13.08]Four straight seconds Let's hear you rip one that long
[04:16.47]I can't
[04:17.39]D**n right you can't Cause they don't teach that in one of your stupid
[04:20.51]Books You're either born with it or you're not
[04:23.07]Yeah you got the magic
[04:25.74]Doorbell
[04:26.01]Hold on a second dildo someone's at the door
[04:28.53]I can't hold on I have to go
[04:31.62]Mom:Coming just let me put the dog downstairs Okay
[04:35.34]Door opens
[04:36.45]You gotta be kidding me
[04:38.07]Man:Hello there
[04:38.25]Mom:Bernie What brings you over here
[04:42.90]Bernie:I'm just returning the power drill Walter lent me last week
[04:47.22]Dad:That's not my drill Bernie
[04:47.88]Bernie:Well I guess it's mine May I eat now
[04:50.67]Mom:Oh that's why you came over
[04:53.79]Bernie:Yes
[04:53.88]Dad:Terrific come join us Pete go get Bernie a folding chair from the closet
[04:57.18]Pete:Why can't grandma
[04:58.38]Dad:Just do it
[04:59.31]Bernie:Thank you Walter Hello Yeta how's your health
[05:02.22]Grandma:My labia lips itch but other than that I'm fine knock on wood
[05:07.26]Dad:See Yeta The fake wood leg comes in handy
[05:09.90]Grandma:True dat
[05:10.65]Everyone laughs
[05:13.83]Hello I have to go
[05:18.96]Pete:Sit down Mr Fetterman but don't crush that big hog of yours
[05:23.25]Bernie:Pardon me
[05:23.49]Pete:I said Tyler's on the horn from college
[05:25.92]Bernie:Quickly give me the phone
[05:27.09]Sniff
[05:28.98]Why does this phone smell so
[05:31.11]Bad
[05:31.26]Pete:I dunno I didn't fart in it But I think my grandma crapped herself
[05:35.37]Bernie:Oh okay
[05:37.23]Tyler it's Mr Fetterman
[05:39.09]Hey Mr Fetterman how you doin
[05:41.31]Do you have a roommate Tyler
[05:43.14]Yeah I do
[05:45.15]I must speak to him immediately
[05:47.49]He's in the bathroom
[05:48.90]Go get him and bring him to me now
[05:52.05]Okay
[05:55.62]Knock
[05:55.77]Hey Brandon
[05:56.55]Brandon:Hold on a second Come on Oprah Let me cum in your
[06:00.39]Bellybutton Ohmygod Oh love it
[06:01.32]Flush
[06:05.76]Yeah What's up
[06:06.69]Could you do me a favor and talk to somebody for a minute
[06:09.03]Yeah sure Hello
[06:12.12]Bernie:Hello to you my friend
[06:13.95]Who dis
[06:15.06]The question isn't who I am the question is who are you
[06:18.93]Um What does that mean
[06:21.09]It means you can't escape the truth What are your plans To turn Tyler
[06:26.28]Into a giant recording machine so you that you can take my thoughts to
[06:29.70]Your leader
[06:30.78]Uh Come again
[06:31.98]What is your real name Where do you hail from
[06:34.35]Uh Brandon Seikz I'm from Oceanside Long Island
[06:37.59]How dumb do you think I am Your name is 4 7 and you are a robot made
[06:42.75]In a factory on the planet Yumnatz
[06:44.91]Really
[06:45.84]I know this because I too have radar
[06:48.30]I see
[06:48.96]We can make this easy or we can make this intensely difficult The choice
[06:54.12]Is yours
[06:55.89]Umm I'll go with not difficult
[06:58.17]Fine then pass this message along to your leader I know about the
[07:03.03]Pidgeons so that's not gonna work anymore I also have buried the blender
[07:07.80]In the backyard so better luck next time I am not an amateur
[07:12.87]Did not say you were
[07:14.28]Let's call it a truce or let's call it the end of mankind as we know it Either
[07:19.41]Way f**k you Are we clear 4 7
[07:23.22]Oh I get it I'm on the radio
[07:25.50]Then the message has been sent
[07:27.30]Tyler:Just give me the phone Brandon
[07:29.43]Brandon:Nice talkin to yall
[07:30.15]Bernie:Die alien
[07:31.47]Tyler:Sorry bout that dude
[07:32.52]Brandon:Not a problem
[07:33.75]Tyler:Don't worry Mr Fetterman I got everything under control
[07:36.36]I know you do Tyler and if he causes any trouble just pull his battery
[07:40.50]Pack that'll take him out of the game
[07:42.45]Good deal Let me just say goodbye to my mother
[07:44.94]Right and remember no glove no love alright
[07:48.39]Yeah I'll remember that
[07:51.09]Nancy
[07:51.72]Pete:Hey f**kface Have fun telling ghost stories tonight with your new
[07:54.93]P***y friends
[07:55.56]I will
[07:56.28]Suck a hairy nipple Here mumsy
[07:58.23]Mom:Stop cursing
[07:59.25]Pete:I wasn't mom
[08:00.21]Mom:Just go play with your cock and balls
[08:01.44]Pete:Right away mom
[08:02.22]Alright baby did you remember to bring your dandruff shampoo
[08:05.10]Yeah I did mom
[08:06.18]Take the label off if you're embarrassed for your roommate to see it
[08:08.91]I will
[08:09.78]Okay go have fun at the mixer call us when you get back to your room
[08:13.47]Call ya It's probly gonna be late ma
[08:16.17]That's no problem we'll all wait up bye bye
[08:18.30]Click
[08:20.04]Man my family ain't easy to deal with sometimes
[08:23.52]Nobodys is
[08:24.66]What your family's a little nutty also
[08:26.97]Oh yes Ya know I should actually give them a call too let em know
[08:31.17]I'm okay
[08:31.80]You got it I'll be in the bathroom whackin it to my grandma eating out
[08:34.74]Dee Snyder
[08:35.40]Good deal
[08:42.99]Dialing and ringing
[08:43.55]Gay Robot:Hello
[08:43.71]Hey dad
[08:44.34]Hello son Did you join a fraternity yet
[08:47.64]I'm workin on it
[08:48.96]Well when you do I'll come visit so I can f**k all your new brothers
[08:52.23]You're too horny dad
[08:55.53]True dat
[08:55.98]Hahahahaha
[08:56.43]Hahahahaha
[08:57.60]Good times
[08:58.29]Great times
Calling Home-Adam Sandler/Betsy Hammer/Elmo Weber歌曲下载
歌曲 | 歌手 | 专辑 | 时长 | 歌曲下载 |
---|---|---|---|---|
Calling Home(Album Version) | Adam Sandler&Betsy Hammer&Elmo Weber | Shhh...Don't Tell(U.S. PA Version) | 09:01 |
|
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