Runcorn Ferry (Tuppence Per Person Per Trip)-Stanley Holloway

[ti:Runcorn Ferry] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:EMI Comedy Classics] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Runcorn Ferry (Tuppence Per Person Per Trip) - Stanley Holloway [00:09.12]On the banks of the mersey over on cheshire side [00:12.85]Lies runcorn that's best known to fame [00:15.88]By transporter Bridge as takes folks over t'stream [00:20.55]Or else brings them back across same [00:23.14]In days afore transporter bridge were put up [00:27.06]A ferryboat lay in the slip [00:29.47]And old ted the boatman would row folks across [00:33.09] [00:33.85]At per tuppence per person per trip [00:36.57]Now runcorn lay over on one side of stream [00:40.92]And widnes on t'other side stood [00:43.47]And as nobody wanted to go either place [00:47.54]Well the trade wasn't any too good [00:50.34] [00:50.92]One evening to ted's superlative surprise [00:55.52]Three customers came into view [00:58.02]A Mr and Mrs ramsbottom it were [01:01.43]And albert their little son too [01:04.59]How much for the three Mr Ramsbottom asked [01:08.89]As his hand to his pocket did dip [01:12.02]Ted said same for three as it would be for one [01:16.52]Per tuppence per person per trip [01:19.61] [01:20.20]You're not charging tuppence for that little lad [01:23.67]Said mother her eyes flashing wild [01:27.69]Per tuppence per person per trip answered ted [01:31.18]Per woman per man or per child [01:34.53]Fivepence for three that's the most that I'll pay [01:39.27]Said father don't waste time in talk [01:42.46] [01:43.04]Per tuppence per person per trip answered ted [01:46.95]And them as can't pay as to walk [01:50.67]We can walk an all said father come mother [01:54.77]It's none so deep weather's quite mild [01:57.65]So into the water the three of them stepped [02:01.63]The father the mother the child [02:04.90]The further they paddled the deeper it got [02:09.14]But they wouldn't give in once begun [02:11.77] [02:12.30]In the spirit that's made lancashire what she is [02:16.80]They'd sooner be drownded than done [02:19.73] [02:20.68]Very soon the old people were up to their necks [02:24.84]And the little lad clean out of sight [02:28.12] [02:29.16]Said father where's albert and mother replied [02:32.67] [02:33.59]I've got hold of his hand he's all right [02:37.11] [02:38.02]Well just at that moment pa got an idea [02:41.44]And floundering back to old ted he said [02:45.41]We've walked half way come take us the rest [02:48.49]For half price that's a penny a head [02:52.13]But ted wasn't standing for none of that there [02:56.18]And making an obstinate lip [02:58.69]Per tuppence per person per trip ted replied [03:03.41]Per trip or per part of per trip [03:07.36]All right then said father let me take the boat [03:12.07]And I'll pick up the others half way [03:14.49]I'll row them across and I'll bring the boat back [03:18.36]And thruppence in t'bargain I'll pay [03:21.33] [03:22.03]T'were money for nothing ted answered right ho [03:26.33]And father got hold of the sculls [03:29.16]With the sharp end of boat towards middle of stream [03:32.84]He were there in a couple of pulls [03:35.63]He got mother out it were rather a job [03:39.48]With the water she weighed half a ton [03:41.85] [03:42.77]Then pushing the oar down the side of the boat [03:46.35]Started fishing around for his son [03:49.40]When poor little albert came up to the top [03:53.62]His collars were soggy and limp [03:56.48]And with holding his breath at the bottom so long [04:00.25]His face were as red as a shrimp [04:03.23]Pa took them across and he brought the boat back [04:07.35]And he said to old ted on the slip [04:10.01] [04:10.83]Wilt row me across by me'sen ted said [04:14.19]Aye at per tuppence per person per trip [04:18.15] [04:19.09]When they got t'other side father laughed fit to bust [04:24.01]He'd got best of bargain you see [04:26.51]He'd worked it all out and he'd got his own way [04:30.79]And he'd paid nobbut fivepence for three