The Lion and Albert-Stanley Holloway

[ti:The Lion and Albert] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:The Best of Stanley Holloway] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]The Lion and Albert - Stanley Holloway [00:12.47]There's a famous seaside place called blackpool [00:15.18] [00:15.85]That's noted for fresh air and fun [00:17.67] [00:18.54]And Mr and Mrs ramsbottom [00:20.44] [00:21.08]Went there with young alberttheir son [00:23.26] [00:24.16]A grand little lad was their albert [00:26.35] [00:27.01]All dressed in his best quite a swell [00:29.54] [00:30.30]With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle [00:32.47] [00:33.22]The finest that woolworth's could sell [00:35.47] [00:36.45]They didn't think much to the ocean [00:38.92] [00:39.84]The waves they was fiddling and small [00:42.73] [00:43.59]There was no wrecks nobody drownded [00:46.31] [00:47.31]Fact nothing to laugh at at all [00:49.16] [00:50.51]So seeking for further amusement [00:52.60] [00:53.32]They paid and went into the zoo [00:55.34] [00:56.47]Where they'd lions and tigers and camels [00:59.37] [01:00.03]And old ale and sandwiches too [01:02.36] [01:03.81]There were one great big lion called wallace [01:06.68] [01:07.70]His nose were all covered with scars [01:10.20] [01:11.37]He lay in a som no lent posture [01:13.75] [01:14.63]With the side of his face to the bars [01:17.30] [01:18.60]Now albert had heard about lions [01:20.75] [01:21.71]How they were ferocious and wild [01:23.98] [01:25.08]And to see wallace lying so peaceful [01:27.52] [01:28.58]Well it didn't seem right to the child [01:30.70] [01:31.91]So straight way the brave little feller [01:34.55] [01:35.45]Not showing a morsel of fear [01:37.63] [01:38.50]Took is stick with the orse's ead andle [01:41.06] [01:42.02]And pushed it in wallace's ear [01:44.09] [01:45.76]You could see that the lion didn't like it [01:48.62] [01:49.34]For giving a kind of a roll [01:51.61] [01:53.14]He pulled albert inside the cage with 'im [01:55.59] [01:56.47]And swallowed the little lad whole [01:58.47] [02:00.20]Then pa who had seen the occurrence [02:02.43] [02:03.53]And didn't know what to do next [02:05.45] [02:06.92]Said mother yon lions et albert [02:10.85] [02:12.35]And mother said eeh I am vexed [02:15.25] [02:17.22]So Mr and Mrs ramsbottom [02:19.17] [02:19.92]Quite rightly when all's said and done [02:22.05] [02:22.92]Complained to the animal keeper [02:24.73] [02:25.87]That the lion had eaten their son [02:27.71] [02:29.69]The keeper was quite nice about it [02:31.89] [02:32.84]He said what a nasty mishap [02:34.99] [02:36.67]Are you sure that it's your boy he's eaten [02:38.84] [02:40.11]Pa said am I sure there's his cap [02:43.05] [02:45.33]So the manager had to be sent for [02:47.17] [02:48.11]He came and he said what's to do [02:49.84] [02:51.16]Pa said yon lion's eaten our albert [02:53.67] [02:54.46]And I'm in his sunday clothes too [02:56.43] [02:58.29]Then mother said right's right young feller [03:01.10] [03:01.94]I think it's a shame and a sin [03:03.68] [03:04.69]For a lion to go and eat albert [03:06.61] [03:07.59]The manager wanted no trouble [03:09.30] [03:10.43]He took out his purse right away [03:12.56] [03:13.62]And said how much to settle the matter [03:15.43] [03:16.63]And pa said what do you usually pay [03:19.02] [03:20.30]But mother had turned a bit awkward [03:22.29] [03:22.97]When she thought where her albert had gone [03:24.95] [03:25.91]She said no someone's got to be summonsed [03:28.84] [03:29.87]So that were decided upon [03:31.65] [03:33.36]Round they went to the police station [03:35.46] [03:36.06]In front of a magistrate chap [03:37.77] [03:38.80]They told I'm what happened to albert [03:40.53] [03:41.20]And proved it by showing his cap [03:43.52] [03:45.03]The magistrate gave his opinion [03:47.20] [03:48.34]That no one was really to blame [03:50.78] [03:51.91]He said that he hoped the ramsbottoms [03:54.01] [03:54.65]Would have further sons to their name [03:57.34] [03:59.26]At that mother got proper blazing [04:01.67] [04:02.61]And thank you sir kindly said she [04:04.89] [04:05.78]What waste all our lives raising children [04:08.12] [04:09.03]To feed ruddy lions not me