Many Happy Returns-Stanley Holloway

[ti:Many Happy Returns] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:EMI Comedy Classics] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Many Happy Returns - Stanley Holloway [00:10.87]Down at the school house at runcorn [00:13.57]The eadmaster walked in one day [00:16.24]Looking all appy and cheerful [00:19.10]Which wasn't his habit they say [00:21.64]The boys were completely dumbfounded [00:23.92] [00:25.17]And whispered hello what's to do [00:28.45]But the headmaster still went on smiling [00:31.77]And said boys I've some good news for you [00:36.58]It's like this today is my birthday [00:40.26]So it's no time for classes and such [00:43.46]You can go but the boys were too staggered [00:47.45]To even say thanks very much [00:50.47]They could scarcely believe their own earoles [00:54.19] [00:54.95]As they welcomed these tidings so bright [00:58.39]But soon they all cheered to the echo [01:01.71]And very near busted with delight [01:04.67]Said headmaster now there's no hurry [01:08.40]Before very long you'll be free [01:11.29]But seeing as how it's me birthday [01:14.75]How old would you take me to be [01:18.06]Well the boys didn't like this delaying [01:22.22]And one of the younger ones swore [01:25.18]At the silly old fool of a master [01:27.52]And the satisfied smile that he wore [01:31.04]He didn't swear any too loudly [01:34.28]Or he'd have been out on the mat [01:36.63]For calling the master a silly old beggar [01:40.42]Or something that sounded like that [01:42.94]I bet you won't guess it correctly [01:46.22]The headmaster went on with a wink [01:48.89]Couse I've got a sort of a notion [01:52.05]I'm not quite as old as you think [01:55.32]A new boy jumpeel up and guessed twenty [01:59.31]In the hopes that he'd get off for a week [02:02.29]While another one guessed ninety seven [02:05.48]Although with his tongue in his cheek [02:08.60]Said the headmaster don't let's be funny [02:11.78]Or you'll be here all day I can see [02:15.19]So who'll give a serious guess now [02:17.88]Come onjust between you and me [02:21.16]Then in walked the junior tutor [02:24.57]In a very old mortar board hat [02:27.44]He said I hear there's a game on [02:31.10]Well I'd like a basin of that [02:34.20]Said the headmaster mind your own business [02:36.84] [02:37.69]And kindly do not interfere [02:39.21] [02:40.47]Or you'll lose half your rasher of bacon [02:43.63]And all your allowance of beer [02:46.23]The tutor said don't be a cad sir [02:50.09]I don't wish to make any noise [02:52.76]But you might at least try to be sporting [02:56.11]If only in front of the boys [02:58.95]With that he swept out of the classroom [03:02.38]Fearing the look that he saw [03:04.87]For he knew that in less than two seconds [03:07.20] [03:07.99]He'd get such a sock in the jaw [03:11.22]Then in came the language professor [03:14.96]French teaching was one of his jobs [03:17.99]So he bowed to the head and said Bonjour [03:22.07]And the head said bonjour avec knobs [03:26.15]But if you've come here to give lessons [03:29.06]You can take it from me it's no bon [03:31.87]Because today's a holiday savvy [03:35.08]So you might as well aIlez vous en [03:37.87]Then a small voice called sir why it's easy [03:42.85]Forty four is your age I should say [03:45.71]Said the master now what a remarkable thing [03:48.61] [03:49.92]You've guessed my right age to the day [03:53.47]Said the boy Well my brother is just twenty two [03:57.84]Said the headmaster What's that to me [04:01.25]Well Sir if he's twenty two you must be forty four [04:06.67]Couse he's only half barmy see [04:09.83]Then the whole class joined in the school anthem [04:13.64]Which nobody wanted to shirk [04:16.40]For he's a jolly good fellow [04:20.12]So long as we don't have to work