Gunner Joe-Stanley Holloway

[ti:Gunner Joe] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:EMI Comedy Classics] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Gunner Joe - Stanley Holloway [00:08.96]I'll tell you a seafaring story [00:11.80]Of a lad who won honour and fame [00:14.42]Wi Nelson at Battle Trafalgar [00:16.88]Joe Moggeridge that were his name [00:19.99]He were one of the crew of the Victory [00:22.92]His job when a battle begun [00:25.56]Was to take cannon balls out o basket [00:29.12]And shove em down front end o gun [00:32.39]One day him and Nelson were boxing [00:35.83]The compass like sailor lads do [00:39.09]When Ardy comes up wi a spyglass [00:41.38] [00:42.15]And pointing says Ere take a screw [00:46.50]They looked to were Ardy were pointing [00:49.26]And saw lots o ships in a row [00:52.24]Joe says abrupt like but respectful [00:55.84]Oratio lad yon's the foe [00:57.65] [00:59.66]What say we attack em says Nelson [01:02.74]Says Joe Nay lad not today [01:05.94]And Ardy says Aye well let's toss up [01:09.00]Oratio answers Okay [01:12.32]They tossed it were heads for attacking [01:16.02]And tails for tother way bout [01:18.40]Joe lent them his two headed penny [01:21.30]So the answer was never in doubt [01:24.23]When penny came down ead side uppards [01:27.67]They was in for a do it were plain [01:30.64]And Joe murmered Shiver me timbers [01:33.68]And Nelson kissed Ardy again [01:36.56]And then taking flags out o locker [01:40.21]E strung out a message on high [01:43.10]T were all about England and duty [01:46.21]Crew thought they was ung out to dry [01:49.37]They got the guns ready for action [01:52.66]And that gave em trouble enough [01:55.07]They adn't been fired all the summer [01:58.13]And touch holes were bunged up wi fluff [02:01.43] [02:02.01]Joe's cannon it weren't alf a corker [02:05.72]The cannon balls went three foot round [02:08.35]They wasn't no toy balloons either [02:11.70]They weighed close on sixty five pound [02:15.15]Joe selecting two of the largest [02:18.70]Was going to load double for luck [02:21.66]When a hot shot came in thro the porthole [02:24.50]And a gunpowder barrel got struck [02:27.48]By gum there weren't alf an explosion [02:31.58]The gun crew were filled with alarm [02:34.67]As out of the porthole went Joseph [02:37.53]Wi a cannon ball under each arm [02:40.69]At that moment up came the Boat swine [02:44.53]He says Where's Joe Gunner replied [02:48.84]E's taken two cannon balls with i'm [02:51.46]And gone for a breather outside [02:54.05] [02:54.63]Do you think he'll be long said the Boat swine [02:58.07]The gunner replied If as ow [03:00.97]E comes back as quick as e left us [03:03.67]E should be ere any time now [03:06.24]And all this time Joe treading water [03:10.25]Was trying is ardest to float [03:13.30]E shouted thro turmoil of battle [03:16.53]Tell someone to lower a boat [03:19.60]Ed come to the top for assistance [03:22.66]Then down to the bottom he'd go [03:25.26]This up and down kind of existence [03:28.26]Made everyone laugh except Joe [03:32.16]At last e could stand it no longer [03:35.56]And next time e came to the top [03:38.12]E said If you don't come and save me [03:41.16]I'll let these ere cannon balls drop [03:44.56]T were Nelson at finish who saved him [03:48.14]And e said Joe deserved the VC [03:51.20]But finding e adn't one andy [03:54.05]E gave Joe an egg for is tea [03:57.00]And after the battle was over [04:00.10]And vessel was safely in dock [04:02.69]The sailors all saved up their coupons [04:06.19]And bought Joe a nice marble clock