The Beefeater-Stanley Holloway

[00:08.05]Oh dear starting another day I suppose [00:11.25]Showing these ere gumps around the Tower [00:14.61]Still it's got to be done [00:16.93]Someone's got to do it [00:18.36]Good Morning What's that [00:20.70]Will I show you around t'Tower Sir [00:22.71]You're from Yorkshire Sir [00:24.08]Ba goom The world's small [00:26.97]I'm from Yorkshire meself aye [00:28.80]These ere Cockneys don't know [00:31.11]There's a tower here at all [00:33.58]First of all Sir we come to the canteen [00:36.74]Where you wash the cobwebs off your chest [00:39.74]That's our motto there [00:41.11]Honi soit qui may y pense [00:43.67]And in Yorkshire that means beer is best [00:47.47]Eh I'll have a pint Sir and thank yer [00:51.04]You'll find it good ale to sup [00:54.16]Well as Guy Fawkes said when he got bunged in Dungeon [00:56.97]And tumbled head first Bottoms up [01:01.49]That big ole outside is the moat Sir [01:04.47]And they do say if ever John Bull [01:07.10]Sells the tower for a road house with cracks puttied up [01:10.82]It'll make a damn fine swimming pool [01:14.80]And now Sir we come to armoury [01:17.79]Here's the tin pants of Dick Coeur de Lion [01:21.45]Just imagine the job that his old woman had [01:24.61]Putting patches on with soldering iron [01:28.19]Here's the shirt and the chainmail Black Prince wore [01:31.89]To starch and iron that were real tricky [01:34.84]It took three boilermakers to put on his shirt [01:38.17]And a blacksmith to put on his dicky [01:41.35]And this ere's the real eadsman's block Sir [01:45.10]From this many eads fell with a thud [01:48.72]Ee to keep all these ere stains fresh [01:52.06]All these three hundred years [01:53.36]We've used buckets and buckets of blood [01:57.04]Ere's the axe that's the genuine axe Sir [02:00.45]That's given Royal necks some ard whacks [02:04.07]Tho it's ad a new andle and perhaps a new head [02:07.61]But it's a real old original axe [02:10.80]And down here's where Princes were murdered [02:14.26]Aye strangled poor kids in cold blood [02:18.72]And what's worse down here [02:20.01]I tossed Scotsman for shilling [02:22.34]I won but the shilling was dud [02:25.67]And here's where they tortured the prisoners [02:28.49]On that rack when they wouldn't confess [02:31.97]They were crushed till their blood ran drip drip drip [02:38.37]Feeling faint Sir Well here's sergeant's mess [02:42.63]Eh Oh thank you I will have a pint Sir [02:46.22]For talking's a day's work Bet your life [02:49.39]For when I show you ducking stool they had for women [02:53.23]By Goom you'll wish you'd brought the wife [02:57.31]And why do they call us Beefeaters [03:01.08]Is it couse we eat beef Sir Nay nay [03:04.92]The sergeant eats pork and the corporal eats bacon [03:08.62]But I eat tripe three times a day [03:12.03]And so you shall know we're Beefeaters [03:15.44]There's me who has fought in the wars [03:18.28]As to walk round with frills on me neck like a hambone [03:22.05]A daft hat and purple plus fours [03:26.18]But here's why they call us Beefeaters [03:30.71]King Alfred one night so they say [03:34.10]Fell over the feet of the sentry [03:36.10]And shouted Oi Keep your B feet out of the way