The Lion and Albert-Stanley Holloway

[ti:The Lion and Albert] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:The Best of Vintage Comedy Songs] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]The Lion and Albert - Stanley Holloway [00:02.06]There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool [00:04.46]That's noted for fresh air and fun [00:07.05]And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom [00:09.05]Went there with young Albert their son [00:11.51]A grand little lad was young Albert [00:13.84]All dressed in his best quite a swell [00:16.38]With a stick with an orse's ead andle [00:18.80]The finest that Woolworth's could sell [00:21.00] [00:21.56]They didn't think much to the ocean [00:23.49]The waves they was fiddling and small [00:25.96]There was no wrecks and nobody drownded [00:28.70] [00:29.31]Fact nothing to laugh at at all [00:31.34]So seeking for further amusement [00:33.81]They paid and went into the zoo [00:36.05]Where they'd lions and tigers and cam els [00:39.19]And old ale and sandwiches too [00:41.94]There were one great big lion called Wallace [00:44.59] [00:45.20]His nose was all covered with scars [00:47.89]He lay in a som no lent posture [00:51.10]With the side of his face on the bars [00:53.65]Now Albert had heard about lions [00:56.10]How they were ferocious and wild [00:58.66]To see Wallace lying so peaceful [01:01.44]Well it didn't seem right to the child [01:04.04]So straight way the brave little feller [01:06.61]Not showing a morsel of fear [01:09.13]Took is stick with these orse's ead andle [01:11.85]And shoved it in Wallace's ear [01:14.01] [01:14.56]You could see that the lion didn't like it [01:17.32]For giving a kind of a roll [01:19.64]He pulled Albert inside the cage with him [01:22.56]And swallowed the little lad whole [01:25.10] [01:25.68]Then Pa who had seen the occurrence [01:28.61]And didn't know what to do next [01:30.99]Said Mother Yon lions ate Albert [01:34.34] [01:35.04]And Mother said Eeh I am vexed [01:38.44]Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom [01:40.18]Quite rightly when all's said and done [01:42.66]Complained to the Animal Keeper [01:44.75]That the lion had eaten their son [01:46.69] [01:47.29]The keeper was quite nice about it [01:50.50]He said What a nasty mishap [01:52.77] [01:53.37]Are you sure that it's your boy he's eaten [01:55.65] [01:56.25]Pa said Am I sure There's his cap [01:58.75] [01:59.54]The manager had to be sent for [02:01.35]He came and he said What's to do [02:03.66] [02:04.42]Pa said Yon lion's eaten Albert [02:06.73]And him in his Sunday clothes too [02:09.53]Then Mother said Right's right young feller [02:11.95]I think it's a shame and a sin [02:14.20]For a lion to go and eat Albert [02:16.32]And after we've paid to come in [02:18.61]The manager wanted no trouble [02:20.71]He took out his purse right away [02:22.91]Saying How much to settle the matter [02:25.84]Pa said What do you usually pay [02:28.14]But Mother had turned a bit awkward [02:30.62]When she thought where her Albert had gone [02:33.02]She said No someone's got to be summonsed [02:36.58]So that was decided upon [02:38.56]Then after they went to the Police Station [02:40.83]In front of a Magistrate chap [02:42.97]They told him what happened to Albert [02:45.08]And proved it by showing his cap [02:47.62]The Magistrate gave his opinion [02:50.60]That no one was really to blame [02:53.40]And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms [02:54.79] [02:56.05]Would have further sons to their name [02:59.00]At that Mother got proper blazing [03:01.99]And thank you sir kindly said she [03:05.24]What waste all our lives raising children [03:08.41]To feed ruddy lions Not me