Jubilee Sov'rin-Stanley Holloway

[ti:Jubilee Sov'rin] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:Stanley Holloway, Monologues and Songs Vol. 2] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Jubilee Sov'rin - Stanley Holloway [00:07.23]On jubilee day the ramsbottoms [00:09.18] [00:09.94]Asked all their relations to tea [00:12.04] [00:12.86]Including young albert's grandmother [00:14.91] [00:15.49]An awkward old party were she [00:18.30] [00:19.51]She'd seen queen victoria's jub lee [00:22.38]And her wedding to albert the good [00:24.68] [00:25.21]But got quite upset when young albert [00:28.04]Asked how she'd got on in the flood [00:30.09] [00:31.20]She cast quite a damper on party [00:33.56] [00:34.46]But cheered up a bit after tea [00:36.27] [00:37.23]And gave albert a real golden sovrin [00:39.83] [00:40.60]She'd saved since the last jubilee [00:42.84] [00:43.64]It had picture of queen on the one side [00:46.15] [00:46.86]And a dragon fight on the reverse [00:49.12] [00:49.90]And tasted of camphor and cobwebs [00:52.22] [00:53.20]Through being so long in her purse [00:55.47] [00:56.59]Albert cuddled the coin and he kissed it [01:00.01] [01:00.73]And felt the rough edge with his tongue [01:03.03] [01:04.02]For he knew by the look of his father [01:06.19] [01:07.08]It wouldn't be his very longer [01:08.92] [01:10.19]Shall I get your money box alber [01:12.30] [01:13.14]Said mother so coaxing and sweet [01:15.56] [01:16.49]But albert let drop an expression [01:19.44]He must have picked up in the street [01:21.22] [01:22.34]I'll show you a trick with that sovrin [01:24.26] [01:24.99]Said pa who were hovering near [01:27.22] [01:28.11]Then he took and pretended to eat it [01:30.31] [01:31.34]Then brought it back out of his ear [01:33.37] [01:34.48]This magic filled albert with wonder [01:37.11] [01:38.08]And before you could say uncle dick [01:39.90] [01:40.75]He'd got the coin back from his father [01:42.79] [01:43.55]And performed the first part of the trick [01:45.92] [01:47.49]When they saw as he'd swallered his suffering [01:49.88] [01:50.81]With excitement his relatives burned [01:53.24] [01:54.28]And each one suggested some process [01:56.76] [01:57.59]For getting the money returned [01:59.11] [02:00.55]Some were for fishing with tweezers [02:03.01] [02:03.64]Well some were for shaking it out [02:05.76] [02:06.72]If they only got back a few shillings [02:08.85] [02:10.11]They said would be better of the nowt [02:11.90] [02:13.58]They tried holding albert head downwards [02:16.11] [02:16.70]And giving his back a good thump [02:18.69] [02:19.66]Realse uncle who worked for a chemist [02:22.01] [02:22.79]Said there's nowt for it but stummick pump [02:25.84] [02:26.86]They hadn't a stummick pump andy [02:28.82] [02:29.69]But pa did the best that he could [02:32.12]With a bicycle pump as he'd borrowed [02:34.37] [02:35.22]But that weren't a haporth of good [02:37.13] [02:37.97]At the last they to came to the doctor [02:40.00] [02:40.81]Who looked down his throat through a glass [02:43.01] [02:43.85]And said this'll mean operation [02:45.58] [02:46.35]He afraid out to laugh to have gas [02:48.86] [02:50.32]How much is this were going to cost us [02:52.69] [02:53.22]Said father beginning to squirm [02:55.53] [02:56.50]Said the doctor it comes quite expensive [02:58.94] [02:59.59]The best gas is it eightpence a therm [03:01.75] [03:02.81]There's my time four shillings an hour [03:05.35] [03:06.01]You can't do these things in two ticks [03:07.95] [03:09.23]By rights I should charge you a guinea [03:11.25] [03:11.97]But I'll do it for eighteen and six [03:13.95] [03:15.42]What eighteen and six to get sovrin said father [03:19.79]That doesn't sound sense [03:21.25] [03:22.34]I'll tell you what you'd best keep [03:24.56]Albert and give me the odd eighteen pence [03:27.88] [03:29.46]The doctor concurred this arrangement [03:31.51] [03:32.70]But to this day is stands in some doubt [03:35.29] [03:35.84]As to whether he's in eighteen shillings [03:38.31] [03:39.11]Or whether he's eighteen pence out