Clampetts Go To Maui-Jeff Foxworthy

[ti:] [ar:] [al:] [by:时间戳工具V2.0_20200810] [offset:0] [00:00.15]I'll give you an idea of what kind of family mine is [00:02.22]This is a true story [00:03.57]About 9 or 10 months ago I did somethin I had always wanted to do [00:05.94]I cashed in all my frequent flyer miles [00:08.31]I took everybody in my family to Hawaii 13 people [00:12.69]Thinkin this would be the vacation of a lifetime [00:16.44]It ended up bein the Clampetts go to Maui [00:21.57]Cuz you get my family together and there is an empty K mart somewhere [00:27.99]They showed up at the airport they were usin coolers and grocery bags for luggage [00:32.61]The sky cap was like which ones yours the samsonite [00:37.14]They were like no we got the igloo with the duct tape on it and the 5 piggly wiggly bags right there [00:51.12]At the ticket counter I asked my mother I said mom would you like to sit next to the window [00:54.78]She goes oh I better not I just had my hair fixed [01:01.62]And on the plane the movie they were showin on the plane was Homeward Bound The Incredible Journey [01:06.84]5 minutes into this movie my brother turns to me and goes You know that ain't them dogs real voice [01:16.98]My sister got mad well thanks for spoilin it for everybody else [01:25.65]And we were stayin right on the beach in fact the whales were migrating through [01:28.80]You could stand on the balcony and watch whales come up out of the water [01:32.70]First morning there my brothers out there goin man I wish I had a gun with a scope on it [01:38.46]How much does it cost to mount a whale ANYBODY KNOW [01:42.87]I'd have to get a bigger trailer I'll tell ya that [01:49.83]And you could tell which rooms were ours [01:51.84]Ours were the ones with the underwear hangin off the rail [01:55.86]According to the manager the sight of the only peeing for distance contest they had ever had [02:02.52]Which I am ashamed to say my Aunt Rose won in the second round [02:13.89]We are a classy bunch [02:16.74]My uncle Doug kept askin When we gonna convert our money to Hawaiin money [02:24.15]This is the same uncle Doug we went to a luau and you know how they always ask people to volunteer to hula dance [02:28.65]Ol' Doug volunteered [02:30.36]Halfway through the dance we all realize Doug's not wearin any underwear underneath his hula skirt [02:37.92]We asked him about it later and he goes well when I went to put my skirt on I noticed I had a hole in my drawers and I didn't wanna embarrass myself [02:49.71]Dang Doug you thought this out [02:54.93]And there's my family I love em they're good people [02:58.02]They just don't get out much [03:01.29]Mainly because of that no shirt no shoes rule [03:05.97]They love that hotel though [03:07.41]God they stole everything from that place [03:10.62]They stole the ashtrays while we were checkin in [03:14.22]Didn't even dump the sand out of em Just picked em up and walked out [03:25.14]Stole everything I mean you get outta the shower and your dryin off with toilet paper cuz tehy ahve teh towels in teh piggly wiggly bags [03:33.15]And one day one of the maids made the mistake of goin to lunch and leavin her cart out in the hall [03:38.97]They were on that like a pack of dogs on a 3 legged cat Picked it clean [03:45.99]I asked my brother later I said what are you gonan do with 180 shower caps [04:16.17]He said Christmas presents [04:41.22]Then his wife got mad well thanks for spoilin it for everybody else