My First Day-Haystak

[ti:My First Day] [ar:Haystak] [al:Portrait of A White Boy: Part One of the White Boy Trilogy] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]My First Day - Haystak [00:09.09]Sometimes I write about something [00:10.68]That like something I went through [00:12.43]Or something my people went through [00:14.42]And I felt like they needed some motivational sh*t [00:18.52]And it usually ends up going something like this [00:20.36]My first day without you in my life [00:24.60]Things felt strange a bit deranged [00:28.20] [00:28.73]Even so I hope you're doin okay [00:33.28]Take it slow you just never know ( just never know oh ) [00:38.55] [00:39.06]Yo you just never know nooo (just never know oh ) [00:42.79] [00:43.46]You just never know nooo (just never know oh ) [00:47.02] [00:47.96]My systems caught in conniption stomach in knots [00:49.76]Feedin for my medicine overcoming addiction [00:52.64]The first step is quittin nah the first steps admittin [00:55.06]I got a problem I need help [00:57.47]This is something I can't beat myself [00:59.03]I almost felt like I can't be cured [01:01.32]Rehab won't take me cuz I ain't insured [01:03.78]Layin in the bath tub shakin like a new born [01:05.46]Searchin for the courage it'll take for me to move on [01:07.62]I've been livin life like this way too long [01:10.22]Beggin God please bring me home [01:12.12]I stopped before three or four days [01:14.65]Always end up back in the same place [01:16.82]People call me a junkie d**e fiend [01:18.73]How they gonna judge me [01:20.11]They don't even know me [01:21.32]Lights off wanna be left alone [01:22.95]I'm tryin to enjoy the methodone [01:25.46]Put a Jimi Hendrix record on [01:27.12]And excuse me while I kiss the sky [01:29.96]Dosed off woke up sick to my stomach [01:31.83]Ran to the bathroom [01:32.88]Started to vomit the methodone wore [01:34.57]Off and the withdrawal started [01:35.83]That first day was the hardest [01:37.67]My first day without you in my life [01:41.99]Things felt strange a bit deranged [01:45.59] [01:46.48]Even so I hope you're doin okay [01:50.69]Take it slow you just never know ( just never know oh ) [01:56.03]Yo you just never know nooo (just never know oh ) [02:00.39]You just never know nooo (just never know oh ) [02:04.54] [02:05.20]Stayed strong endured the rough weather [02:06.68]I ain't fully recovered but I'm doin much better [02:08.86]I can keep my food down to shakes and calms [02:11.22]They lowerin the doses of methodone [02:12.50]I eat V's and blow lots of dro [02:14.69]It's like chewin gum when [02:15.73]You're tryin not to smoke [02:17.11]Keep my mind occupied calm my nerves [02:19.17]It's not the same high deep inside I [02:21.76]Just want one more but I [02:23.71]Can't turn back this week for it [02:25.49]But I done made it almost a month [02:27.14]With just a couple of V's and I blew some blunts [02:29.34]But that w**d and gonna make me OD [02:31.52]That other sh*t was gonna kill me [02:34.25]Six weeks and everything seem so clear [02:36.38]Before I knew it time flew and I was clean for a year [02:39.02]Can't believe something started off socially [02:40.81]Something I almost allowed to take over me [02:43.16]Days went by and it was sixteen months [02:44.79]And I swear to God I didn't fall off once [02:47.07]I feel like a brand new guy and [02:49.64]I'm definetly livin a brand new life [02:51.29]Some days I still resist the thirst [02:52.85]But none's worst than the first believe [02:55.49]That [02:55.71]My first day without you in my life [02:59.68]Things felt strange a bit deranged [03:03.86]Even so I hope you're doin okay [03:08.20]Take it slow you just never know ( just never know oh ) [03:13.42] [03:14.21]Yo you just never know nooo (just never know oh ) [03:18.24]You just never know nooo (just never know oh ) [03:22.05]Two years and I ain't touched it [03:24.41]Got a lot done I been so productive [03:26.00]Rebuilt I was so constructive [03:28.11]Can't believe I was so self destructive [03:30.36]Got a good job and I make big bucks [03:32.39]Went to the lot and got a new pick up [03:34.51]Got a brand new crib and a brand new kid [03:36.60]I think anybody can quit if I did [03:38.47]If you wanna quit get up and go get the sh*t [03:40.68]Walk straight to the toilet drop it [03:42.71]Flush it f**k it fight it [03:44.30]Just resist it and if this helps then just keep listenin [03:47.31]When you start slippin I'll send you another one [03:49.69]Sonny wasup we just saved another one [03:51.80]I know it's so hard like there's no God [03:54.29]But through him you're able to go so far [03:56.63]Hey I don't wanna sound corny [03:58.26]I'm just like you either hungry or horny [04:00.01]Seems as though we get hooked so easily [04:03.08]Quitting becomes an impossibility [04:05.18]I ain't sayin treat your body like a church [04:07.25]Just don't let d**e put your body in a hearse [04:09.55]The streets inside you you just gotta search [04:11.46]And know that no day be harder than the first [04:13.30]My first day without you in my life [04:17.14]Things felt strange a bit deranged [04:20.54] [04:21.18]Even so I hope you're doin okay [04:25.63]Take it slow you just never know ( just never know oh ) [04:31.19]Yo you just never know nooo (just never know oh ) [04:35.04] [04:36.33]You just never know nooo (just never know oh ) [04:39.32] [04:41.94]Yo all my people goin through they thing [04:44.98]Whatever they thing may be [04:46.38] [04:47.33]Just know God got his hands on you [04:51.49]And he'll grant you the serenity [04:53.51]To change the things you can't [04:55.43]And you can change that aight [04:57.28] [04:58.10]Hold me down and I'ma hold you down one