The Walrus and the Carpenter [Lewis Carroll]-Kenneth Williams

[ti:The Walrus and the Carpenter (Lewis Carroll)] [ar:Kenneth Williams] [al:Parlour Poetry - Comic, Patriotic and Improving Verse from the Victorian Age] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]The Walrus and the Carpenter [Lewis Carroll] - Kenneth Williams [00:00.57]The sun was shining on the sea [00:02.73]Shining with all his might [00:04.61]He did his very best to make [00:05.94]The billows smooth and bright [00:08.10]And this was odd because it was [00:09.82]The middle of the night [00:10.79] [00:11.71]The moon was shining sulkily [00:13.41]Because she thought the sun [00:14.74]Had got no business to be there [00:16.94]After the day was done [00:18.30]It's very rude of him she said [00:21.59]To come and spoil the fun [00:23.07] [00:24.33]The sea was wet as wet could be [00:26.24]The sands were dry as dry [00:28.44]You could not see a cloud because [00:31.14]No cloud was in the sky [00:32.57] [00:33.23]No birds were flying overhead [00:35.01] [00:35.78]There were no birds to fly [00:37.32] [00:38.40]The Walrus and the Carpenter [00:40.29]Were walking close at hand [00:42.03]They wept like anything to see [00:44.80]Such quantities of sand [00:46.97]If this were only cleared away [00:49.12] [00:49.90]They said it would be grand [00:51.79] [00:52.53]If seven maids with seven mops [00:54.85]Swept it for half a year [00:56.71]Do you suppose the Walrus said [00:59.45]That they could get it clear [01:01.00] [01:01.88]I doubt it said the Carpenter [01:04.59]And shed a bitter tear [01:06.14] [01:07.36]Of Oysters come and walk with us [01:09.59] [01:10.12]The Walrus did beseech [01:11.56]A pleasant walk a pleasant talk [01:13.44]Along the briny beach [01:15.06]We cannot do with more than four [01:16.88]To give a hand to each [01:19.01]The eldest Oyster looked at him [01:21.26]But never a word he said [01:22.62]The eldest Oyster winked his eye [01:24.54]And shook his heavy head [01:26.16]Meaning to say he did not choose [01:28.34]To leave the oyster-bed [01:29.95] [01:31.51]Out four young Oysters hurried up [01:33.27]All eager for the treat [01:34.61]Their coats were brushed their faces washed [01:37.05]Their shoes were clean and neat [01:38.87]And this was odd because you know [01:40.70]They hadn't any feet [01:41.68] [01:42.30]Four other Oysters followed them [01:43.77]And yet another four [01:44.92]And thick and fast they came at last [01:46.37]And more and more and more [01:47.54]All hopping through the frothy waves [01:49.51]And scrambling to the shore [01:50.83] [01:52.04]The Walrus and the Carpenter [01:53.55]Walked on a mile or so [01:55.15]And then they rested on a rock [01:56.83]Conveniently low [01:58.33]And all the little Oysters stood [02:00.07]And waited in a row [02:01.44] [02:02.16]The time has come the Walrus said [02:06.05]To talk of many things [02:08.23]Of shoes and ships and sealing wax [02:11.41]Of cabbages and kings [02:12.89] [02:13.83]And why the sea is boiling hot [02:15.93] [02:16.44]And whether pigs have wings [02:18.72] [02:19.64]But wait a bit the Oysters cried [02:22.11] [02:22.62]Before we have our chat [02:24.26]For some of us are out of breat [02:25.68]And all of us are fat [02:26.98] [02:27.63]No hurry said the Carpenter [02:30.05]They thanked him much for that [02:31.92] [02:32.45]A loaf of bread the Walrus said [02:35.76]Is what we chiefly need [02:37.55]Pepper and vinegar besides [02:39.62]Are very good indeed [02:41.09]Now if you're ready Oysters dear [02:43.34] [02:44.05]We can begin to feed [02:45.94] [02:47.13]But not on us the Oysters cried [02:50.51]Turning a little blue [02:51.60] [02:52.28]After such kindness that would be [02:54.43]A dismal thing to do [02:56.46] [02:57.28]The night is fine the Walrus said [03:00.67]Do you admire the view [03:02.58] [03:03.20]It was so kind of you to come [03:05.15]And you are very nice [03:07.07]The Carpenter said nothing but [03:09.22]Cut us another slice [03:10.82]I wish you were not quite so deaf [03:12.83]I've had to ask you twice [03:14.26] [03:14.91]It seems a shame the Walrus said [03:18.48]To play them such a trick [03:20.12]After we've brought them out so far [03:21.93]And made them trot so quick [03:23.65]The Carpenter said nothing but [03:25.44]The butter's spread too thick [03:27.58] [03:28.36]I weep for you the Walrus said [03:32.24]I deeply sympathize [03:33.99] [03:34.95]With sobs and tears he sorted out [03:37.32]Those of the largest size [03:38.53] [03:39.12]Holding his pocket-handkerchief [03:40.59]Before his streaming eyes [03:42.03] [03:43.30]Of Oysters said the Carpenter [03:46.68] [03:47.19]You've had a pleasant run [03:48.82] [03:49.36]Shall we be trotting home again [03:51.34] [03:52.77]But answer came there none [03:54.39] [03:55.15]And this was scarcely odd because [03:56.58] [03:57.21]They'd eaten every one