The Lion and Albert-Stanley Holloway

[ti:The Lion and Albert] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:Stand up for Stanley, Vol. 2 (The Dave Cash Collection)] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]The Lion and Albert - Stanley Holloway [00:12.56]There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool [00:15.17] [00:16.13]That's noted for fresh air and fun [00:18.15] [00:18.90]And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom [00:20.67] [00:21.34]Went there with young Albert their son [00:23.62] [00:24.55]A grand little lad was their Albert [00:26.72] [00:27.35]All dressed in his best quite a swell [00:29.88] [00:30.77]With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle [00:32.97] [00:33.63]The finest that woolworth's could sell [00:35.95] [00:37.23]They didn't think much to the ocean [00:39.56] [00:40.26]The waves they was fiddlin and small [00:43.39] [00:44.09]There was no wrecks nobody drownded [00:46.85] [00:47.85]Fact nothing to laugh at at all [00:49.86] [00:51.05]So seeking for further amusement [00:53.49] [00:54.12]They paid and went into the zoo [00:56.35] [00:57.12]Where they'd lions and tigers and camels [01:00.14] [01:00.88]And old ale and sandwiches too [01:03.18] [01:04.54]There were one great big lion called Wallace [01:07.51] [01:08.47]His nose were all covered with scars [01:11.28] [01:12.16]He lay in a som no lent posture [01:15.02] [01:15.86]With the side of his face to the bars [01:18.14] [01:19.42]Now Albert had heard about lions [01:21.58] [01:22.75]How they were ferocious and wild [01:25.20] [01:26.03]And to see Wallace lying so peaceful [01:28.69] [01:29.51]Well it didn't seem right to the child [01:32.03] [01:32.95]So straight way the brave little feller [01:35.86] [01:36.45]Not showing a morsel of fear [01:38.85] [01:39.62]Took is stick with the 'orse's 'ead 'andle [01:42.10] [01:43.12]And pushed it in wallace's ear [01:45.42] [01:47.09]You could see that the lion didn't like it [01:49.71] [01:50.44]For giving a kind of a roll [01:53.24] [01:54.32]He pulled Albert inside the cage with in [01:56.81] [01:57.69]I'm swallowed the little lad whole [01:59.70] [02:01.44]Then pa who had seen the occurrence [02:04.20] [02:04.90]And didn't know what to do next [02:07.00] [02:08.24]Said mother yon lions et Albert [02:11.98] [02:13.73]And mother said eeh I am vexed [02:17.08] [02:18.92]So Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom [02:20.51] [02:21.40]Quite rightly when all's said and done [02:23.67] [02:24.43]Complained to the animal keeper [02:26.47] [02:27.55]That the lion had eaten their son [02:29.46] [02:31.25]The keeper was quite nice about it [02:33.63] [02:34.44]He said what a nasty mishap [02:36.87] [02:38.28]Are you sure that it's your lad he's eaten [02:40.66] [02:41.73]Pa said I am sure there's his cap [02:44.68] [02:47.04]So the manager had to be sent for [02:48.96] [02:49.88]He came and he said what's to do [02:51.82] [02:53.10]Pa said yon lion's eaten our Albert [02:55.45] [02:56.21]And I'm in his sunday clothes too [02:58.16] [03:00.13]Then mother said right's right young feller [03:03.13] [03:03.83]I think it's a shame and a sin [03:05.77] [03:06.60]For a lion to go and eat albert [03:08.55] [03:09.50]And after we've paid to come in [03:11.41] [03:13.35]The manager wanted no trouble [03:14.85] [03:16.13]He took out his purse right away [03:18.70] [03:19.51]And said how much to settle the matter [03:21.58] [03:22.50]And pa said what do you usually pay [03:25.25] [03:26.22]But mother had turned a bit awkward [03:28.11] [03:28.91]When she thought where her albert had gone [03:31.01] [03:31.82]She said no someone's got to be summonsed [03:34.90] [03:36.07]So that were decided upon [03:37.66] [03:39.36]Round they went to the police station [03:42.13]In front of a magistrate chap [03:44.05] [03:44.83]They told I'm what happened to Albert [03:46.80] [03:47.78]And proved it by showing his cap [03:49.84] [03:51.18]The magistrate gave his opinion [03:53.44] [03:54.55]That no one was really to blame [03:57.09] [03:58.18]He said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms [04:00.26] [04:01.06]Would have further sons to their name [04:03.70] [04:05.57]At that mother got proper blazing [04:08.06] [04:08.93]And thank you sir kindly said she [04:11.41] [04:12.17]What waste all our lives raising children [04:14.79] [04:15.48]To feed ruddy lions not me