Uncle Harry (Live)-Noel Coward and Orchestra

[ti:Uncle Harry] [ar:Noel Coward] [al:Mad Dogs And Englishmen - Noel Coward Live In Las Vegas] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Uncle Harry - Noel Coward [00:03.44]Written by：Trad Coward [00:06.89]My family has traditions [00:07.68] [00:08.25]I've heard them a thousand times [00:09.94]My relatives were not excessively bright [00:12.08] [00:13.43]They love to go off on missions [00:14.74] [00:15.25]To rather peculiar climes [00:16.57]And lead the wretched heathens to the light [00:18.70] [00:20.15]A few of them got beaten up [00:21.94]In course of these rampages [00:23.26]My dear Aunt Maud got eaten up [00:25.35]While singing Rock of Ages [00:26.74] [00:27.31]These family expeditions [00:28.22] [00:28.93]Admittedly are a bore [00:30.31] [00:30.94]But there is just one uncle [00:32.43] [00:33.19]That I positively adore [00:34.55] [00:38.75]Poor Uncle Harry [00:40.17]Wanted to be a missionary [00:42.05]So he took a ship and sailed away [00:44.09] [00:45.65]This visionary [00:46.09] [00:46.91]Hotly pursued by dear Aunt Mary [00:48.97]Found a south sea isle on which to stay [00:50.98] [00:52.20]The natives greeted them kindly and invited them to dine [00:54.82] [00:55.56]On yams and clams and human hams and vintage coconut wine [00:58.34] [00:59.10]The taste of which was filthy but the after effects divine [01:02.09] [01:02.75]Poor Uncle Harry [01:03.82] [01:04.35]Got a bit gay and longed to tarry [01:06.40]This Aunt Mary couldn't quite allow [01:07.93] [01:09.43]She lectured him severely on a number of church affairs [01:12.84]But when she'd gone to bed he made a getaway down the stairs [01:16.22]For he longed to find the answer to a few of the maiden's prayers [01:19.63]Uncle Harry's not a missionary now [01:22.11] [01:23.74]Poor Uncle Harry [01:24.97]After a chat with dear Aunt Mary [01:26.37] [01:26.94]Thought the time had come to make a row [01:28.90] [01:30.23]He lined up all the older girls in one of the local sheds [01:33.20] [01:33.85]And while he was reviling them and tearing himself to shreds [01:36.22] [01:36.98]They took their Mother Hubbards off and tied them around their heads [01:40.62]Uncle Harry's not a missionary now [01:43.15]He's awfully happy [01:44.28]But he's certainly not a missionary now [01:46.27] [01:54.94]Now uncle was just a seeker [01:56.30]A dreamer sincerely blest [01:57.73]Of this there couldn't be a shadow of doubt [02:00.29] [02:01.46]The fact that his flesh was weaker [02:03.06]Than even Aunt Mary guessed [02:04.08] [02:04.80]Took even her some time to figure out [02:06.69] [02:08.23]In all those languid latitudes [02:09.34] [02:09.97]The atmosphere's exotic [02:10.80] [02:11.71]To take up moral attitudes [02:13.14]Would be too idiotic [02:14.54] [02:15.10]Though nobody could be meeker [02:16.24] [02:16.78]Than uncle had been before [02:17.96] [02:18.60]I bet today he's giving way [02:20.63]At practically every pore [02:21.66] [02:25.91]Poor Uncle Harry [02:26.95] [02:27.51]Having become a missionary [02:28.99]Found the natives' morals rather crude [02:31.13] [02:32.58]He and Aunt Mary [02:34.16]Quickly imposed an arbitrary [02:36.03]Ban upon them shopping in the nude [02:38.04] [02:39.31]They all considered this silly and they didn't take it well [02:42.19] [02:42.72]They burned his boots and several suits and wrecked the mission hotel [02:45.79] [02:46.61]They also burnt his mackintosh which made a disgusting smell [02:50.05]Poor Uncle Harry [02:51.06] [02:51.57]After some words with dear Aunt Mary [02:53.51]Called upon the chiefs for a pow wow [02:55.36] [02:56.37]They didn't brandish knives at him they really were awfully sweet [02:59.49] [03:00.23]They made concerted dives at him and offered him things to eat [03:03.01] [03:03.61]But when they threw their wives at him he had to admit defeat [03:07.03]Uncle Harry's not a missionary now [03:09.16] [03:10.88]Poor dear Aunt Mary [03:12.30]Though it were revolutionary [03:13.40] [03:13.95]Thought her time had come to take a bow [03:16.29] [03:17.56]Poor Uncle Harry looked at her in who he had placed his trust [03:20.36] [03:21.16]His very last illusion broke and crumbled away to dust [03:24.27] [03:25.35]For she'd placed a flower behind her ear and frankly exposed her bust [03:30.31] [03:31.31]Uncle Harry's not a missionary now [03:34.02]He's left the island [03:35.32]But he's certainly not a missionary now