Did I Ever Tell You About The Man Who Taught His Asshole To Talk?-William S. Burroughs

[ti:Did I Ever Tell You About The ] [ar:William S. Burroughs] [al:Spare A** Annie And Other Tale] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Did I Ever Tell You About The Man Who Taught His Asshole To Talk? - William S. Burroughs (威廉·S·柏洛兹) [00:15.78]*Man Talking* [00:19.54] [00:45.72][Incomprehensible] [00:48.79] [00:49.68]Did I ever tell you about the man [00:50.93]Who taught his asshole to talk? [00:52.86] [00:53.62]His whole abdomen would move up and down [00:57.05]You dig farting out the words. [00:59.42]It was unlike anything I ever heard. [01:01.54] [01:02.61]This a** talk had sort of a gut frequency. [01:05.73]It hit you right down there like you gotta go. [01:09.42] [01:10.06]You know when the old colon [01:11.48]Gives you the elbow and it feels sorta cold inside, [01:15.06]And you know all you have to do is turn loose? [01:17.81] [01:18.37]Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, [01:21.94]Thick stagnant sound, a sound you could smell. [01:25.98] [01:27.85]This man worked for a carnival you dig, [01:29.84] [01:30.36]And to start with it was like [01:31.80]A novelty ventriliquist act. [01:33.92]Real funny, too, at first. [01:35.67]He had a number he called "The Better 'Ole" [01:37.92] [01:38.54]That was a scream, I tell you. [01:41.48]I forget most of it but it was clever. Like, [01:45.01]"Oh I say, are you still down there, old thing?" [01:48.31]"Nah I had to go relieve myself." [01:50.99] [01:52.61]After a while the a** start talking on its own. [01:55.96] [01:57.10]He would go in without anything prepared [02:00.35]And his a** would ad-lib and toss [02:03.08]The gags back at him every time. [02:05.58] [02:07.77]Then it developed sort of teeth-like [02:10.06]Little raspy in-curving hooks and started eating. [02:14.65] [02:16.47]He thought this was cute at first [02:18.28]And built an act around it, [02:19.72]But the asshole would eat its way through his pants [02:23.83]And start talking on the street, [02:25.14]Shouting out it wanted equal rights. [02:27.51] [02:28.39]It would get drunk, too, [02:30.20]And have crying jags nobody loved it [02:33.42]And it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. [02:36.24] [02:37.55]Finally it talked all the time day and night, [02:40.61] [02:42.36]You could hear him for blocks [02:44.35]Screaming at it to shut up, [02:46.09] [02:46.66]And beating it with his fist, [02:48.40]And sticking candles up it, [02:49.77]But nothing did any good [02:51.53] [02:52.77]And the asshole said to him: [02:55.08]"It's you who will shut up in the end. Not me. [02:58.95]Because we don't need you around here any more. [03:02.18]I can talk and eat and sh*t." [03:06.08] [03:07.68]After that he began waking up in the morning [03:10.18]With a transparent jelly like a [03:12.56]Tadpole's tail all over his mouth. [03:16.24] [03:16.86]This jelly was what the scientists call un-D.T., [03:19.80]Undifferentiated Tissue, [03:21.94] [03:22.50]Which can grow into any kind of flesh [03:24.68]On the human body. [03:25.89] [03:29.16]He would tear it off his mouth [03:30.65]And the pieces would stick to his hands like [03:33.14]Burning gasoline jelly and grow there, [03:36.77]Grow anywhere on him [03:38.15] [03:39.58]Anywhere on him a glob of it fell. [03:41.71] [03:42.52]So finally his mouth sealed over, [03:45.53]And the whole head [03:47.00]Would have have amputated spontaneous - [03:50.57]Did you know there is a condition occurs [03:52.25]In parts of Africa [03:54.30]And only among Negroes [03:56.42]Where the little toe amputates spontaneously? - [04:00.93] [04:01.93]Except for the eyes you dig. [04:04.81]Thats one thing the asshole couldn't do was see. [04:08.47] [04:09.17]It needed the eyes. [04:10.79] [04:12.41]But nerve connections were blocked [04:14.71]And infiltrated and atrophied [04:19.20]So the brain couldn't give orders any more. [04:23.39] [04:24.64]It was trapped in the skull, sealed off. [04:28.00] [04:29.12]For a while you could see the silent, helpless [04:32.82]Suffering of the brain behind the eyes, [04:35.28] [04:36.21]Then finally the brain must have died, [04:39.33]Because the eyes went out, [04:41.77] [04:43.65]And there was no more feeling in them [04:46.30]Than a crab's eyes on the end of a stalk. [04:49.95] [04:51.95][Incomprehensible] [04:54.87] [05:56.01]-End-