The Simple Plot of Final Fantasy 7-Starbomb

[ti:The Simple Plot of Final Fantasy 7] [ar:Starbomb] [al:Starbomb] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]The Simple Plot of Final Fantasy 7 - Starbomb [00:00.18]Composed by：Arin Joseph Hanson/Brian Alexander Wecht/Leigh Daniel Avidan [00:00.36]Hello and welcome to talking video games [00:05.36]Today's subject is games with simple plots [00:07.86]I'd like to welcome our guests [00:09.70]Would each of you please say who you are [00:11.36]And give a brief summary of the plot of your game [00:13.55]Yes hello my name is Pac-man [00:14.80]And I eat dots and fruit [00:17.11]My name is Donkey Kong I throw barrels at a guy [00:21.69]Hi I'm Cloud Strife from final fantasy VII [00:25.14]My game's plot is pretty simple it goes like this [00:29.18]I was a mercenary working for the avalanche gang [00:32.02]Awesome eco-terrorists who you'd probably wanna bang [00:34.72]I got trapped in a reactor shortly after my last raid [00:37.33]And got shot into a slum where I could have gotten squaids [00:39.97]That's squirrel Aids for anyone who's wondering at home [00:42.58]Anyway I met a girl inside the Midgar zone [00:45.32]Her name was Aerith and I soon became her bodyguard [00:47.85]She knew how to work a staff [00:49.13]And she made my body hard [00:50.57]Okay Cloud this is getting complex [00:53.23]So I'm gonna move on to one of our other guests [00:55.81]I knew that Aerith was a Cetra [00:57.27]Excuse me I was singing [00:58.57]She could lead us to a Promised Land [01:00.14]Where energy was springing [01:01.33]I went to rescue her but I was captured [01:03.13]And detained um [01:04.22]There I met Red XIII a talking lion [01:05.97]With a mane Cloud [01:06.79]The president of Shinra was shot by Sephiroth [01:09.13]A super-evil Jenova-style monster clone jerkoff hey [01:12.17]We learned about Jenova got our things and then departed [01:14.46]Wait I'm totally confused [01:15.80]I haven't even gotten started [01:17.18]We met Cait Sith as well as Vincent Cid and Yuffie [01:19.97]We had gotten very tired and my balls were kinda poofy [01:22.49]So Aerith let us rest her tired a*s continued on [01:25.26]Until Sephiroth killed her and then she turned into a swan what [01:28.14]Wait that didn't happen sorry let me get rebooted [01:30.53]This is sort of where the plot gets a little convoluted [01:33.26]An earthquake happened then it started snowing like December [01:35.88]Then some other s**t went down that I don't seem to remember [01:38.61]You're using up the whole show Cloud please take a rest [01:41.29]So let's hear from one of our many other fine guests [01:43.91]Q*bert what's your game about [01:45.23]I jump on blocks [01:46.47]And you Asteroids ship [01:47.79]I blow up rocks [01:49.73]Back to my story Sephiroth was casting spells [01:51.94]To make a giant Meteor and blow Gaia to hell [01:54.64]Wait that doesn't make sense how on earth would you know [01:57.15]Shut your stupid French mouth [01:58.48]No-one asked you glass Joe God [02:01.99]I'm so sorry [02:04.95]I'm gonna cut your story short [02:07.39]Your plot is way too friggin' crazy and we've got [02:11.60]One more guest we need to meet [02:14.78]And here he is now [02:16.23]Hi my name is Frogger [02:18.28]And I try to 'cross the street [02:21.37]F**k you Frogger [02:21.92]I killed Hojo and I went to the planet's core [02:23.99]Sit down Ninja Gaiden I'm not done you stupid w***e [02:26.62]We defeated Sephiroth who was now in god-like form [02:29.29]And we cast a Holy spell to stop the asteroid storm [02:31.92]The Lifestream stopped the Meteor the whole planet was saved [02:34.49]After hearing that plot I think I have to go shave [02:37.15]You got somethin' to say dig dug you wanna f**king go [02:39.70]Wait why's this hose in my a*s [02:41.07]Oh Jesus God no