Ravens-Mount Eerie

[ti:Ravens] [ar:Mount Eerie] [al:A Crow Looked At Me] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Ravens (乌鸦) - Mount Eerie [00:14.77]In October 2015 [00:18.92] [00:19.95]I was out in the yard [00:22.10] [00:23.20]I just finished splitting up the scrap two by fours into kindling [00:29.15] [00:31.00]Glanced up at the half moon pink chill refinery cloud light [00:37.18] [00:38.90]Two big blackbirds flew over their wings whooshing and low [00:44.46] [00:45.60]Two ravens but only two [00:51.56] [00:52.61]Their black feathers tinted in the sunset [00:59.90] [01:07.78]I knew these birds were omens but of what I wasn't sure [01:14.75] [01:16.05]They were flying out toward the island where we hoped to move [01:20.62] [01:23.51]You were probably inside [01:26.32] [01:27.18]You were probably aching wanting not to die [01:30.97]Your body transformed [01:34.02] [01:34.55]I couldn't bear to look so I turned my head west [01:41.24]Like an early death [01:44.07] [01:45.55]Now I can only see you on the fridge in lifeless pictures [01:52.04] [01:53.96]And in every dream I have at night [01:57.09] [01:57.85]And in every room I walk into [02:00.15]Like here where I sit the next October [02:04.80]Still seeing your eyes [02:07.14] [02:08.98]Pleading and afraid full of love [02:14.53] [02:16.74]Calling out from another place because you're not here [02:25.40] [02:26.52]I watched you die in this room then [02:29.99]I gave your clothes away [02:35.86]I'm sorry I had to [02:41.14] [02:41.93]Now I'll move [02:46.40] [02:52.22]I will move with our daughter [02:56.12]We will ride over water [02:59.59] [03:01.54]With your ghost [03:02.98] [03:04.33]Underneath the boat [03:07.11]What was you is now but bones [03:11.30]And I cannot be at home [03:14.76] [03:15.51]I'm running reef flailing [03:22.34] [03:37.84]The second time I went to Haida Gwaii it was [03:41.98]Just me and our daughter [03:44.06] [03:45.49]Only one month after you died my face was still contorted [03:51.80] [03:53.03]Driving up and down boots wet inside aimless and weeping [03:59.53] [04:00.32]I needed to return to the place where we discovered that [04:07.83]Childless we could blanket ourselves in the moss there [04:18.14] [04:18.66]For our long lives [04:22.45]But when we came home you were pregnant [04:25.65] [04:26.61]And then our life together was not long [04:31.03]You had cancer and you were killed [04:35.35]And I'm left living like this [04:38.15]Crying on the logging roads with your ashes in a jar [04:44.30] [04:44.99]Thinking about the things I'll tell you [04:48.06] [04:49.00]When you get back from wherever it is that you've gone [04:56.30] [04:57.73]But then I remember death is real [05:01.47] [05:04.41]And I'm still here in Masset [05:06.71] [05:07.98]It's August 12th 2016 [05:10.95] [05:11.83]You've been dead for one month and three days [05:16.30]And we are sleeping in the forest [05:19.94] [05:20.47]There is sand still in the blankets from the beach [05:25.49]Where we released you from the jar [05:29.23] [05:30.36]When we wake up all the clothes that we left out are [05:34.79]Cold and damp just from the air permeating [05:41.68]The ground opens up [05:43.83] [05:46.26]Surrounded by growth [05:48.48] [05:49.76]Nurse logs with layers of moss and life [05:53.64] [05:54.26]Beyond the cedars the sound of water [05:58.07]Thick salal [05:59.20] [06:00.11]And God like huckleberries [06:03.91] [06:05.03]The ground absorbs and remakes whatever falls [06:10.34] [06:12.82]Nothing dies here [06:15.51]But here is where I came to grieve [06:19.18]To dive into it with you [06:21.86] [06:24.02]With your absence [06:26.79]But I keep picking you berries