The Pardoner's Tale-Baba Brinkman

[ti:The Pardoner's Tale] [ar:Baba Brinkman] [al:The Rap Canterbury Tales] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]The Pardoner's Tale - Baba Brinkman [00:14.18]My story begins at a bar where three friends [00:16.99] [00:17.52]Drink cheap gin and party hard all weekend [00:19.64] [00:20.29]These men were riot starter types [00:22.75]Who spent the better part of their money on cards and dice [00:25.86]Livin' the life of loose women and vice [00:28.20]Pickin' fights seduced by all seven different types [00:31.15]Of sins a feeding frenzy of vengeance [00:34.53] [00:35.22]Vanity lust greed and envy [00:36.63] [00:37.16]Devious energy left them half insane [00:39.09] [00:39.70]Laughing deranged like hyenas at their bastard games [00:42.57]As each glass was drained and each bet was placed [00:45.43]They set the pace and left space for their next mistakes [00:47.74] [00:48.38]All excessive waste and drunken rambling [00:50.45] [00:51.03]With eager hands trembling eventually gambling [00:53.64] [00:54.15]Leads to panhandling but that's the price [00:57.15]You pay to cast the dice and other appetites [00:59.80]Pay the same sacrifice while the false assumption [01:02.63] [01:03.33]Is they help us function when really it's just a dungeon [01:06.30]Of self consumption [01:07.01] [01:07.57]In other words it's not worth it [01:09.60]This world is not perfect but it gets worse if [01:12.13]Flesh is the only god you worship [01:13.58]As mortal men you [01:14.70]Need more than the sinews in your corpse to defend you [01:16.93]But let the story continue the same as before [01:19.11] [01:19.66]Where these three hard core men drink at the bar [01:22.57]Someone came in the door and ordered a beer [01:25.18]And told a sad story they were sorry to hear [01:28.15]Choking on tears he said death is a thief [01:31.10]My friend was asleep and his breath just ceased [01:33.87]May he rest in peace and never be stressed [01:36.64]I guess people ever need to be ready to meet death [01:39.57]And disrespectfully the three inebriated rioters [01:41.49] [01:42.69]Proceeded to curse and debated the guy's words [01:45.41]I've heard stated the first enough about death [01:47.66] [01:48.22]Every town is gripped in his clutches without rest [01:50.97]What is it about this foe that's so scary please [01:53.97]If an adversary bleeds and breathes the same air as me [01:56.95]I can bury it see fellas what I'm tellin' [01:59.51]You is death is a villain and the rest is irrelevant [02:02.44]So let's go kill him [02:03.63] [02:08.11]When he'd said his piece [02:09.47]The rest agreed and the three friends hit the streets [02:12.56]And went to seek their destiny and provoke a confrontation [02:14.80] [02:15.50]In a drunken rage hoping death would come and face them [02:18.48]Their intoxication made them sure of their purpose [02:21.13]And fed the infernal furnace of their courage a kernel [02:23.70]Nourished by these three murderous wretches in denial [02:25.65] [02:26.86]Less than a mile into their quest to put death on trial [02:29.96]They met this guy all wrapped in bandages [02:32.00] [02:32.71]An old handicapped man with disadvantages [02:35.31] [02:36.31]And the three friends examined his bleeding flesh [02:38.35] [02:39.26]And demanded he tell them how he was cheating death [02:42.28]Seeming perplexed the old man responded with soft words [02:45.60] [02:46.24]And said I walk the earth like a creature god has cursed [02:49.62] [02:50.57]My lot is the worst and most desperate place to be [02:53.76]I pray faithfully every day for death to take me [02:56.90]Waiting patiently and someday he will arrive [02:59.21] [02:59.86]But in the meantime until I die I'm still alive [03:03.64] [03:04.83]In a burst of ill advised pride the first [03:08.23]Of the three rioters replied this guy [03:10.14]Is a spy or worse I guess death is his master [03:13.72]And gives him everlasting life forever after [03:16.05]A benevolent benefactor perhaps to have protecting you [03:19.28]But nothing gets a confession faster than weapons do [03:22.14]And stepping to this old man with mindless threats [03:24.98]They demanded he tell them where they could find death [03:27.67]Find death laughed the old man perhaps you will [03:33.17]He lives under that tree on that grassy hill [03:35.83] [03:36.47]Ready to kill with their jagged edged daggers drawn [03:39.04]The three aggravated braggarts staggered up the lawn [03:41.78]And without dragging on while the story is told [03:44.70]Beneath the tree they found a bag filled with glorious gold [03:48.79] [03:50.49]The hoard was more than forty fold their wildest dreams [03:53.06] [03:53.58]And they smiled like demons hatching violent schemes [03:56.40]While the steam from their previous plan was dissipated [03:58.51] [03:59.12]They were so fixated on the gold it just abated [04:01.99]And the search for death was traded for work of greater urgency [04:04.99]Now the worst of the three had the first words to speak [04:07.83]And said certainly it seems fortune gave us this gold [04:10.64]To save us from having to work and slave in the cold [04:13.65]But fortune favours the bold and to spend this treasure [04:16.47]On endless pleasures to begin we'd better [04:18.83]Take preventative measures cause if the switch from poor to rich [04:22.55]Is too disproportionate then law enforcement will get [04:24.89]Suspicious how we afforded it and then we'll pay the price [04:27.91]So let's sit tight and play this right [04:30.61]See we'll wait 'til late at night and if all is not lost [04:33.72]Under the cover of darkness we can haul this all off [04:36.14]But for now we'll draw straws since we've got a lot of time [04:39.07]And one of us can run off and buy a bottle of wine [04:41.60]The others thought the plot was fine and trusted its wit [04:44.59]And the youngest among them drew the cut stick [04:47.54]And rushed to get booze so this could be celebrated [04:50.27]As the other two plotted and whispered while they waited [04:53.21]The worst delegated again and said listen friend [04:56.14]Let's invent a way to get paid a greater dividend [04:59.24]In the end we can each have half this treasure [05:01.78]If we get our acts together now and take drastic measures [05:04.62]The other asked incredulously how can this be [05:07.56]When right now we're bound to split the treasure by three [05:10.65] [05:11.58]Let's see said the first with a savage laugh [05:14.55]Just imagine the third man gets stabbed in the back [05:17.54]Now I'm bad at maths addition and subtraction [05:19.85] [05:20.43]But don't we get to split the treasure in half then [05:23.37] [05:24.57]You distract him when he comes back with the wine [05:27.13]And I'll make sure our young friend gets stabbed in the spine [05:30.33]The first attack is mine then you back me up [05:33.10]Just slash his gut and add the last cut [05:35.44] [05:36.02]To our friend's bad luck and because of his greed [05:38.53] [05:39.13]The other agreed to this covetous deed [05:41.02] [05:41.69]By the trunk of this tree they waited to pounce [05:44.36]While the youngest of the three made his way into town [05:47.23]Weighted down by the thought of a whole lotta gold [05:50.36]Which inaudibly caught ahold of him and gnawed at his soul [05:53.30]He wanted it so bad he could taste it [05:56.08]Any part of it shared was like a part of it wasted [05:58.86]And he harboured a hatred in his heart and decided [06:01.11]Never to let this precious treasure get divided [06:03.07] [06:04.26]And guided by the shine of carnal greed [06:07.22]He went to buy the wine and then to the pharmacy [06:10.09]And sounding harmless he asked for this black ointment [06:13.10]That he'd seen used in the past as rat poison [06:15.46] [06:16.05]Meaning to trap his boys into drinking tainted wine [06:18.30] [06:18.93]While at the same time thinking the game is mine [06:21.37] [06:21.94]Another famous line that became his last words [06:23.80] [06:24.43]'Cause when he got back the others acted first [06:26.58] [06:27.21]And stabbed him mercilessly with vicious blows [06:29.28] [06:29.91]And since the kid was quick to give up the ghost [06:32.81]They proposed a victory toast to the crime [06:35.98]And both enjoyed a glass of the poisoned wine [06:38.62]And collapsed going blind in a fit of convulsions [06:41.37]Which halted their pulses and ultimately resulted in [06:43.57]Their spirits' expulsions [06:44.20] [06:46.28]And because of their greed [06:47.33] [06:48.23]They did indeed find death under the tree [06:52.39] [06:55.06]They did indeed find death under the tree