His Excellency Regrets-Noel Coward

[ti:His Excellency Regrets] [ar:Noel Coward] [al:The Noel Coward Collection, Vol. 1: There Are Bad Times Just Around the Corner] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.15]His Excellency Regrets - Noel Coward [00:01.25]Written by：Noel Coward/ Noel Pierce Coward [00:02.46] [00:03.36]Now listen please [00:04.66]I'll tell you confidentially [00:06.90]How ADC [00:08.29]Are trained in social grace [00:09.55] [00:10.33]They must be brave [00:11.64]For daily [00:12.25]They're called upon to save [00:14.32]His excellency's face [00:17.01] [00:18.25]Any explanation [00:19.22]Of the duties of an ADC [00:21.40]Proves the complications [00:22.72]That are rife at government house [00:24.85]Certain situations [00:26.13]They could never let a lady see [00:28.26]There are strange vibrations [00:29.91]In the life of government house [00:31.24] [00:31.81]Truth is often sacrificed [00:33.48]For reasons of diplomacy [00:35.26]That of course you understand [00:36.85]But all the same [00:37.86]It must be grand [00:38.65]To be [00:39.39]So suave [00:40.43]So calm [00:41.23]So dignified [00:42.22]If you knew what all that signified [00:45.86]They [00:47.35] [00:48.07]Who break the ninth commandment every day [00:50.62] [00:51.50]Would hang their heads in shame and say [00:53.62]Forgive [00:54.38]We have [00:55.30]To live [00:56.17]Officially on feet of clay [00:58.80] [00:59.78]Every minute [01:00.52]We're made to sin it [01:01.60]Is really very depraved [01:03.04] [01:03.56]But to hell with the lies we tell [01:05.12]His excellency's honor must be saved [01:07.85] [01:14.18]His excellency regrets [01:15.85]That owing to an attack of gout [01:17.51]He really dare not venture out [01:19.31]On Saturday to dine [01:20.62] [01:21.13]His excellency regrets [01:22.75]That owing to doctor's orders [01:24.17]He cannot attend the mission tea [01:26.26]And also must decline [01:27.45] [01:27.96]Your kind invitation [01:30.09]For Wednesday week [01:31.27]A slight operation [01:32.99]And poor circulation [01:34.88]Combined with a weedy physique [01:36.69]Has made him unable to speak [01:37.82] [01:38.33]All this in addition to what [01:40.05]The doctors describe as a clot [01:41.98]Which may disappear [01:42.92]By the end of the year [01:43.99]But may very possibly not [01:45.99]His excellency regrets [01:47.81]That owing to his exalted state [01:49.63]He can no more associate [01:51.33]With amiable brunettes [01:52.95]Walk up walk up [01:54.86]We're willing to take your bets [01:56.49]That that's one of the principal things his excellency regrets [01:59.70]So now you know [02:00.91]About the diplomatic corps [02:03.16]How it can so [02:04.45]Corrupt the soul of youth [02:05.70] [02:06.54]What happen youth [02:07.79]Someday they gave the waiting world a whiff [02:09.98] [02:10.57]Of plain unvarnished truth [02:12.82] [02:13.84]His excellency regrets [02:15.80]That failing a better alibi [02:17.64]He must admit he'd rather die [02:19.31]Than open your bazaar [02:21.08]His excellency regrets [02:22.71]That lacking enough official scope [02:24.55]He can't disband the band of hope [02:26.24]No matter where they are [02:27.93]He frankly despises [02:29.47] [02:30.07]The people he rules [02:31.31]His gorge also rises [02:33.10]When giving the prizes [02:34.82]At co-educational schools [02:36.66]To rows of illiterate fools [02:38.35]And if you should write in the book [02:39.98]He'll give you a murderous look [02:41.90]For it ruins his day [02:42.92]To be taken away [02:43.82]From his rod and his line and his hook [02:45.60] [02:46.17]His excellency regrets [02:47.90]He hasn't enough to run the house [02:49.68]Or pay the staff or feed a mouse [02:51.43]Upon the pay he gets [02:53.15]Hey-ho hey-ho [02:55.03]He's up to his ears in debts [02:56.76]But that's one of the least of the things his excellency regrets