Asshole-Denis Leary

[ti:Asshole] [ar:Denis Leary] [al:No Cure For Cancer] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Asshole - Denis Leary [00:09.15]Folks I`d like to sing a song [00:11.30]About the American dream [00:12.50] [00:13.49]About me about you [00:15.09] [00:16.43]About the way our American [00:17.55]Hearts beat way down [00:19.27]In the bottom of our chests [00:20.70] [00:21.52]About the special feeling we get in the [00:23.40]Cockles of our hearts [00:24.30] [00:25.05]Maybe below the cockles [00:26.09] [00:26.60]Maybe in the subcockle [00:27.16]Area Maybe in the liver [00:29.83]Maybe in the kidneys [00:30.84] [00:31.71]Maybe even in the [00:32.69]Colon we don`t know [00:34.60] [00:38.02]I`m just a regular Joe [00:39.96] [00:40.80]With a regular job [00:42.04] [00:43.02]I`m your average white suburbanite slob [00:46.43] [00:47.05]I like football and porno [00:49.20]And books about war [00:50.22] [00:51.22]I`ve got an average house [00:53.45]With a nice hardwood floor [00:54.97] [00:55.49]My wife and my job [00:57.43]My kids and my car [00:59.01] [00:59.65]My feet on my table [01:00.92] [01:01.77]And a cuban cigar [01:03.12] [01:07.19]But sometimes that just ain`t enough [01:09.39] [01:10.00]To keep a man like me interested [01:11.72] [01:12.26](oh no) no way (uh-uh) [01:15.06]No I`ve gotta go out [01:16.78]And have fun at someone else`s expense [01:20.28](oh yeah) [01:21.36]Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah [01:23.60]I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane [01:27.27] [01:27.85]While people behind me are going insane [01:31.14] [01:32.17]I`m an asshole [01:33.20](He`s an asshole what an asshole) [01:34.70] [01:36.30]I`m an asshole [01:37.29](He`s an asshole such an asshole) [01:38.80] [01:40.46]I use public toilets [01:42.47]And piss on the seat [01:44.57]I walk around in the summertime saying [01:47.03]`How about this heat ` [01:47.98] [01:48.55]I`m an asshole [01:49.61](He`s an asshole what an asshole) [01:51.28] [01:52.93]I`m an asshole [01:53.47] [01:54.08](He`s the world`s biggest asshole) [01:55.42] [01:57.20]Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces [02:01.18]While handicapped people make handicapped faces [02:05.09]I`m an asshole [02:06.03](He`s an asshole what an asshole) [02:07.83] [02:09.38]I`m an asshole [02:10.35](He`s a real f**king asshole) [02:12.11] [02:13.81]Maybe I shouldn`t be singing this song [02:17.07] [02:17.86]Ranting and raving and carrying on [02:20.79] [02:21.84]Maybe they`re right [02:23.43]When they tell me I`m wrong [02:25.31] [02:29.32]NAAAAH [02:30.27]I`m an asshole [02:31.06](he`s an asshole what an asshole) [02:32.56] [02:34.34]I`m an asshole [02:34.97] [02:35.50](he`s the world`s biggest asshole) [02:37.29] [02:38.73]Know what I`m gonna do [02:39.90]I`m gonna get myself a 1967 [02:41.59] [02:42.31]Cadillac El Dorado hot-f**kin`-pink [02:44.42]With whaleskin hubcaps [02:46.35]And all-leather cow interior and big [02:49.20]Brown baby seal eyes for headlights [02:51.08]Yeah And I`m gonna drive around in [02:52.58]That baby doing 115 miles an hour [02:55.20]Getting 1 mile per gallon suckin` down [02:56.87]Quarter pound cheeseburgers [02:57.85]From McDonald`s in the old-fashioned non- [02:59.44]Biodegradable styrofoam containers [03:00.59]Yeah And when I`m done suckin` down [03:02.63]Those greaseball burgers [03:03.85]I`m gonna toss the styrofoam [03:05.01]Containers right out the [03:06.68]Side and there ain`t a goddamn thing [03:09.59]Anybody can do about it [03:10.84]You know why [03:11.50]Because we got the bombs [03:12.73]That`s why yeah [03:13.50]Two words--nuclear f**kin` weapons OK [03:15.57] [03:16.53]Russia Czechoslovakia Romania [03:17.95]They can have all the democracy [03:19.26]They want [03:19.78]They can have a democracy cakewalk [03:20.78] [03:21.65]Right through the middle of [03:22.70]Tienamen Square and it won`t make a lick [03:24.32]Of f**kin` difference because we got [03:25.39]The bombs OK [03:26.51]John Wayne`s not dead--he`s frozen [03:28.15] [03:28.84]And when we find a cure for [03:29.97]Cancer we`re gonna thaw out [03:30.97]The Duke [03:31.30]And he`s gonna be pretty pissed off [03:32.63]You know why [03:33.56]You ever taken a cold shower [03:34.51]Well multiply that by 15 million [03:36.25]Times--that`s how pissed off [03:37.15]The Duke`s gonna be [03:38.15]I`m gonna get the Duke and [03:39.63]John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw [03:40.54]And a case of f**kin` whisky and drive [03:42.54]Hey hey hey hey [03:44.29] [03:44.96]You know you really are an asshole [03:46.03]Why don`t you shut up [03:47.12]And sing the song Chris [03:48.10] [03:48.83]I thought I was the [03:49.55]Asshole all the time [03:50.85]It was him what an asshole [03:52.30]I`m an asshole [03:53.87](I`m an asshole he`s an asshole) [03:55.65]I`m an asshole [03:56.16](He`s the world`s biggest asshole) [03:57.10]A S-S H-O L-E [04:00.76]Everybody A S-S H-O L-E [04:05.11]Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay [04:09.09]A-thoom A-thoom-thoom [04:11.44]A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom [04:13.47]Oooooooo [04:16.03] [04:17.27]I`m an asshole and I`m proud of it