Could You Please Oblige Us With a Bren Gun?-Noel Coward and Orchestra/Sidney Black and His Orchestra

[ti:Could You Please Oblige Us With a Bren Gun?] [ar:Noel Coward and Orchestra/Sidney Black and His Orchestra] [al:Wartime Songs Vol. 2: Get in Your Shelter] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Could You Please Oblige Us With a Bren Gun? - Noel Coward and Orchestra/Sidney Black and His Orchestra [00:07.88]Colonel montmorency who was in calcutta in ninety two [00:11.23]Emerged from his retirement for the war [00:13.34] [00:14.86]He wasn't very pleased with all he heard and all he saw [00:17.69] [00:18.33]But whatever he felt he tightened his belt and organised a corps [00:21.93]Poor colonel montmorency thought all the wars he'd faught [00:26.33]The home guard was his job to do or die [00:28.66] [00:29.97]But after days and weeks and years bravely drying his many tears [00:33.80]He wrote the following letter to the minister of supply [00:36.54] [00:37.51]Couls you please oblige us with a bren gun [00:40.61] [00:41.34]Or failing that a hand grenade will do [00:43.77] [00:44.81]We've got some ammunition in a rather damp condition [00:47.65] [00:48.38]And major huss has a arquebus that was used at waterloo [00:51.27] [00:52.00]With the vicar's stirrup pump a pitchfork and a stave [00:55.06] [00:55.71]It's rather hard to guard an aerodrome [00:58.35] [00:59.43]So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun [01:02.32] [01:02.97]The home guard might as well go home [01:05.37] [01:06.68]Could you please oblige us with a bren gun [01:09.32] [01:10.25]We're getting awfully tired of drawing lots [01:12.31] [01:13.91]Today we had a shipment of some curious equipment [01:16.52] [01:17.40]And just for a prank they sent us a tank that ties itself in knots [01:20.49] [01:21.06]On sunday's mock invasion captain clark was heard to say [01:24.55]He hadn't even got a brush and comb [01:26.84] [01:28.33]So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun [01:31.14] [01:31.85]The home guard might as well go home [01:34.14] [01:39.27]Colonel montmorency planned in case the enemy tried to land [01:42.21] [01:42.75]To drive them back with skill and armoured force [01:45.28] [01:46.41]He realised his army should be mechanised of course [01:49.16] [01:49.94]But somewhere inside experience cried my kingdom for a horse [01:54.46] [01:55.07]Poor colonel montmorency tried at infinite cost to time and pride [02:00.22]To tackle his superiors again [02:02.13] [02:03.82]Having just one motorbike fourteen swords and a marlin spike [02:07.73]He wrote the following letter in the following urgent strain [02:10.55] [02:11.57]Could you please oblige us with a bren gun [02:14.32] [02:15.21]We need it very badly I'm afraid [02:17.10] [02:18.77]Our local crossword solver has an excellent revolver [02:21.75] [02:22.55]But during a short attack on a fort the trigger got mislaid [02:25.36] [02:26.32]In course of operations planned for friday afternoon [02:29.20] [02:29.95]Our orders are to storm the hippodrome [02:32.02] [02:33.63]So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun [02:36.45] [02:37.24]The home guard might as well go home [02:39.66] [02:41.02]Could you please oblige us with a bren gun [02:43.68] [02:44.47]The lack of one is wounding to our pride [02:47.03] [02:48.17]Last night we found the cutest little german parachutist [02:50.82] [02:51.78]He looked at our kit and giggled a bit and laughed until he cried [02:54.84] [02:55.46]We'll have to hide that armoured car when marching through berlin [02:58.41] [02:58.96]We'd almost be ashamed of it in rome [03:01.62] [03:02.81]So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun [03:05.59] [03:06.32]The home guard might as well go home