The Lion and Albert-Stanley Holloway/Celeste Holm

[ti:The Lion And Albert] [ar:Stanley Holloway] [al:EMI Comedy Classics] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]The Lion and Albert - Stanley Holloway/Celeste Holm [00:12.63]There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool [00:16.45]That's noted for fresh air and fun [00:18.91]And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom [00:21.67]Went there with young Alberttheir son [00:24.28]A grand little lad was their Albert [00:27.30]All dressed in his best quite a swell [00:30.59]E'd a stick with an orse's ead andle [00:33.35]The finest that Woolworth's could sell [00:36.46]They didn't think much to the ocean [00:39.89]The waves they was fiddlin and small [00:43.41]There was no wrecks nobody drownded [00:46.51] [00:47.47]Fact nothing to laugh at at all [00:50.18]So seeking for further amusement [00:53.54]They paid and went into the zoo [00:56.22]Where they'd lions and tigers and cam els [00:59.83]And old ale and sandwiches too [01:03.25]There were one great big lion called Wallace [01:07.47]His nose were all covered with scars [01:11.00]He lay in a som no lent posture [01:14.66]With the side of his face to the bars [01:18.06]Now Albert had heard about lions [01:20.98]How they were ferocious and wild [01:23.06] [01:24.54]And to see Wallace lying so peaceful [01:27.84]Well it didn't seem right to the child [01:31.54]So straight way the brave little feller [01:34.97]Not showing a morsel of fear [01:37.60]Took is stick with the orse's ead andle [01:41.15]And pushed it in Wallace's ear [01:44.76]You could see that the lion didn't like it [01:48.56]For giving a kind of a roll [01:51.89]He pulled Albert inside the cage with i'm [01:55.42]And swallowed the little lad whole [01:58.56] [01:59.15]Then Pa who had seen the occurrence [02:02.62]And didn't know what to do next [02:05.28]Said Mother Yon lions et Albert [02:10.86]And Mother said Eeh I am vexed [02:16.08]So Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom [02:18.82]Quite rightly when all's said and done [02:21.61]Complained to the Animal Keeper [02:24.18]That the lion had eaten their son [02:27.83]The keeper was quite nice about it [02:31.49]He said What a nasty mishap [02:34.62]Are you sure that it's your lad he's eaten [02:37.62] [02:38.40]Pa said Am I sure There's his cap [02:42.91] [02:43.91]So the manager had to be sent for [02:46.64]He came and he said What's to do [02:49.72]Pa said Yon lion's eaten our Albert [02:51.51] [02:52.84]And i'm in his Sunday clothes too [02:56.65]Then Mother said Right's right young feller [03:00.17]I think it's a shame and a sin [03:02.91]For a lion to go and eat Albert [03:05.30]And after we've paid to come in [03:08.28] [03:09.01]The manager wanted no trouble [03:11.99]He took out his purse right away [03:15.49]And said How much to settle the matter [03:18.45]And Pa said What do you usually pay [03:21.65]But Mother had turned a bit awkward [03:24.76]When she thought where her Albert had gone [03:27.45]She said No someone's got to be summonsed [03:31.30]So that were decided upon [03:34.58]Round they went to the Police Station [03:37.61]In front of a Magistrate chap [03:40.13]They told i'm what happened to Albert [03:42.64]And proved it by showing his cap [03:45.88]The Magistrate gave his o pinion [03:49.33]That no one was really to blame [03:53.13]He said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms [03:55.02] [03:55.98]Would have further sons to their name [03:59.45] [04:00.45]At that Mother got proper blazing [04:03.78]And thank you sir kindly said she [04:06.75]What waste all our lives raising children [04:10.15]To feed ruddy lions Not me