My Name Is Judas-Claire Lynch

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?) My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady Ahem.. excuse me! Can I have the attention of the class for one second? Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!) Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!) Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!) Try cid and get f**ked up worse that my life is? (Huh?) My brains dead weight, Im tryin to get my head straight but I cant figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..) And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!" Uh-uhhh! "So whys your face red? Man you wasted!" Well since age twelve, Ive felt like Im someone else Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lees tits off And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast Cmere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, thats my girl dog!) I dont give a f**k, God sent me to piss the world off! Chorus My English teacher wanted to have sex in junior high The only problem was my English teacher was a guy I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler and stapled his nuts to a stack of paper (Owwwwwwww!) Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup (Wsssshhhhh...) Extraterrestrial, killin pedestrians Rapin lesbians while they screamin: "LETS JUST BE FRIENDS!" Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to I just found out my mom does more dope than I do I told her Id grow up to be a famous rapper Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!) You know you blew up when the women rush your stands and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!) This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get your autograph?) So I signed it: Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE! Chorus Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!) Dr. Dre, dont just stand there, OPERATE! Im not ready to leave, its too scary to die Ill have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead) All my life I was very deprived I aint had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too) I spit when I talk, Ill f**k anything that walks (Cmere) When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!) YOU AINT GOT NO TITS! (WAH!) I lay awake and strap myself in the bed Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!) Im steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!) And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)