Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)-Jukebox Junctions

[ti:Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)] [ar:Jukebox Junctions] [al:Songs Famous In 1971] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West) - Jukebox Junctions [00:05.01]You could hear the hoof beats pound [00:06.63]As they raced across the ground [00:07.87] [00:09.11]And the clatter of the wheels as they [00:10.91]Spun round and round [00:11.79] [00:12.47]And he galloped into market street [00:13.81] [00:14.41]His badge upon his chest [00:15.85]His name was Ernie [00:16.64] [00:17.25]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west [00:19.53] [00:21.12]Now Ernie loved a widow a lady known as Sue [00:24.05] [00:24.80]She lived all alone in Liddley Lane at number twenty two [00:28.01] [00:28.67]They said she was too good for him [00:30.56]She was haughty proud and chic [00:31.88] [00:32.55]But Ernie got his cocoa there three times every week [00:35.70] [00:36.25]They called him Ernie Ernie [00:40.14]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west [00:42.37] [00:43.93]She said she'd like to bathe in milk he said [00:46.32]All right sweetheart [00:46.85] [00:47.72]And when he'd finished work [00:49.02]One night he loaded up his cart [00:50.67] [00:51.56]He said do you want it pasturize [00:53.41]'Cause pasturize is best [00:54.53] [00:55.04]She says [00:55.77]Ernie I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest [00:58.40] [00:59.19]That tickled old Ernie Ernie [01:02.83]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west [01:05.39] [01:06.70]Woo [01:07.53] [01:08.78]Now Ernie had a rival an evil-looking man [01:11.67] [01:12.49]Called Two-Ton Ted from [01:13.76]Teddington and he drove the baker's van [01:15.62] [01:16.30]He tempted her with his treacle tarts and [01:18.62]His tasty wholemeal bread [01:20.11]When she seen the size of his hot meat [01:22.07]Pies it very near turned her head [01:23.46] [01:24.98]She nearly swooned at his macaroon and he said [01:27.40]If you treat me right [01:28.69]You'll have hot rolls every morning [01:29.99] [01:30.65]And crumpets every night [01:31.70] [01:32.46]He knew once she sampled his layer [01:34.09]Cake he'd have his wicked way [01:35.61] [01:36.25]But all Ernie had to offer was a pint of milk each day [01:39.49] [01:40.32]Poor Ernie Ernie [01:42.96] [01:44.01]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west [01:46.38] [01:47.69]Woo [01:48.69] [01:49.74]One lunch time Ted saw [01:50.92]Ernie's horse and cart outside her door [01:52.69] [01:53.46]And It drove him mad to find it was [01:55.39]Still there at half past four [01:56.70] [01:57.27]And as he lept down from his van [01:59.22]Hot blood through his veins did course [02:01.17]And he went across to [02:02.32]Ernie's cart and didn't half kick his orse [02:04.37] [02:05.18]Whose name was Trigger Trigger [02:08.15] [02:08.72]And he pulled the fastest milk cart in the west [02:11.11] [02:12.70]Now Ernie rushed out into the street [02:14.50]His gold top in his hand [02:15.65] [02:16.33]He said If you wanna marry [02:17.67]Susie you'll fight for her like a man [02:19.58] [02:20.15]Oh why don't we play cards for her [02:22.14]He sneeringly replied [02:23.25] [02:23.99]And just to make it interesting [02:25.15] [02:25.82]We'll have a shilling on the side [02:27.21] [02:28.92]Now Ernie dragged him from [02:30.17]His van and beneath the blazing sun [02:31.68] [02:32.47]They stood there face to face [02:33.79] [02:34.46]And Ted went for his bun [02:35.70] [02:36.39]But Ernie was too quick [02:37.94]Things didn't go the way Ted planned [02:39.50] [02:40.22]And a strawberry-flavoured [02:41.38]Yogurt sent it spinning from his hand [02:43.34] [02:44.97]Now Susie ran between them [02:46.36] [02:46.88]And tried to keep them apart [02:48.11] [02:48.72]And Ernie pushed her aside [02:50.66]And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart [02:52.64]And he looked up in pained [02:54.09]Surprise and the concrete hardened crust [02:55.69] [02:56.43]Of a stale pork pie [02:57.49]Caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust [02:59.50] [03:00.25]Poor Ernie Ernie [03:03.37] [03:04.07]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west [03:06.48] [03:08.69]Now Ernie was only fifty chird he didn't wanna die [03:11.37] [03:12.55]And now he's gone to make deliveries [03:14.33]In that milk round in the sky [03:15.55] [03:16.31]Where the customers are angels [03:17.52] [03:18.24]And ferocious dogs are banned [03:19.63] [03:20.48]And the milkman's life is full of fun in that fairy [03:23.17]Dairy land [03:23.65] [03:25.50]But a woman's needs are many fold [03:26.91] [03:27.78]And soon she married Ted [03:28.80] [03:29.74]But strange things happened on their wedding [03:31.31]Night as they lay in their bed [03:32.87] [03:33.95]Was that the trees a-rustling [03:34.87] [03:35.56]Or the hinges of the gate [03:36.87] [03:37.70]Or Ernie's ghostly gold tops a-rattling in their crate [03:40.71] [03:41.64]They won't forget Ernie Ernie [03:45.27]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west