The Biggest Aspidistra In The World-Gracie Fields

[ti:The Biggest Aspidistra In The World] [ar:Gracie Fields] [al:Forever Gold - Comedy Classics (Remastered)] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]The Biggest Aspidistra In The World - Gracie Fields [00:09.01]For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot [00:12.20] [00:12.87]On the whatnot near the stand in the all [00:15.41] [00:16.73]It didn't seem to grow till one day our brother Joe [00:19.55] [00:20.19]Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall [00:22.67] [00:24.17]So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree [00:27.47] [00:28.53]And he's planted it against the garden wall [00:30.95] [00:33.11]It shot up like a rocket [00:34.39] [00:34.98]Till it's nearly reached the sky [00:36.44] [00:37.18]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world [00:40.28] [00:42.07]We couldn't see the top of it [00:43.94]It got so blooming high [00:45.04] [00:45.98]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world [00:49.01] [00:50.72]When father's had a snoot full at his pub [00:53.60]The Bunch of Grapes [00:54.24] [00:54.93]He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes [00:58.05] [00:59.20]No you'll find him in his bear-skin [01:01.06] [01:01.83]Playing Tarzan of the apes [01:03.65] [01:04.70]Off the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:08.16] [01:10.40]We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade [01:13.24] [01:14.45]So they put the water rates up half a crown [01:16.90] [01:18.34]The roots stuff up the drains [01:19.72] [01:20.57]Grow along the country lanes [01:21.86] [01:22.64]And they came up half a mile outside the town [01:24.87] [01:26.35]Once we hired an auditorium for a hot house [01:30.04] [01:31.40]But a jealous rival went and burnt it down [01:34.85] [01:37.42]The tom cats and their sweethearts love [01:39.90]To spend their evenings out [01:41.60] [01:42.34]Up the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:45.53] [01:47.38]They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout [01:51.14] [01:51.98]From the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:55.48] [01:56.96]The dogs miles [01:58.99]A lovely sight to see [02:01.25] [02:01.80]They sniff around for hours and hours [02:04.13] [02:04.71]And wag their tails with glee [02:06.03] [02:07.24]So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree [02:12.07] [02:13.22]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world