My Mother Doesn't Know I'm on the Stage-Jetsam

[ti:My Mother Doesn't Know I'm on the Stage] [ar:Jetsam] [al:Echoes Of Variety (Remastered)] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]My Mother Doesn't Know I'm on the Stage - Jetsam [00:15.13]I'm cherishing a secret in my bosom [00:18.12] [00:18.99]About the dreadful stage-life that I lead [00:21.70] [00:22.81]I've heard it said that Pro's are decent people [00:25.88] [00:26.90]But according to the papers that I read [00:29.59] [00:30.82]Both actresses and actors are dead 'wrong uns' [00:33.77] [00:34.62]Whether from the 'Palace' or the 'Hippodrome' [00:37.35] [00:38.63]The chaps I meet outside know I'm an actor [00:41.68] [00:42.56]But I never breathe a word of it at home [00:46.02] [00:47.20]So my mother doesn't know I'm on a stage [00:50.13] [00:51.42]It would break her poor old heart if she found out [00:54.78] [00:56.23]She knows I'm a deserter [00:57.81]From the Scottish Fuseliers [00:59.85] [01:00.54]She knows I stole a blind-man's can [01:03.27]That got me seven years [01:04.88] [01:05.56]She knows I've been connected [01:07.66]With a gang of West-End Pests [01:10.57]And the police have had me twice inside the cage [01:13.73] [01:15.08]And she knows I mix with ladies that have got a shady past [01:19.99] [01:20.73]But my mother doesn't know I'm on the stage [01:24.10] [01:25.55]Sometimes she sees the powder on my clothing [01:28.50] [01:29.58]And then it's such a nuisance to explain [01:32.98] [01:34.11]If she thought that it was powder she'd go crazy [01:37.41] [01:38.48]Of course I have to tell her it's coc*ine [01:41.44] [01:42.58]The day she met me out with Gladys Cooper [01:45.56] [01:46.71]She started screaming "Murder " and "Police " [01:49.74] [01:51.01]And would have caused a dreadful scene in public [01:54.29] [01:55.28]So I told her that the girl was 'Crippen's' niece [01:58.61] [01:59.97]'Cos' my mother doesn't know I'm on the stage [02:03.10] [02:04.48]And when I draw six hundred pounds each week [02:07.76] [02:09.37]If she knew where it came from [02:11.54]She would shoot me like a dog [02:14.35]So I said I'd stole the moneybox [02:17.13]From an Irish Synagogue [02:18.54] [02:19.44]She can think that I'm a murderer [02:21.89] [02:22.40]Before she'll know the truth [02:24.24] [02:25.00]I have to have respect for her old age [02:28.55] [02:29.55]And she knows that I'm a bigamist a blaggard and a crook [02:35.55]But thank Heaven she don't know I'm on the stage