Ernie (Fastest Milkman In The West)-The Hit Co.

[ti:Ernie (Fastest Milkman in the West)] [ar:The Hit Co.] [al:British Humour: Funny Songs from the Uk] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Ernie (Fastest Milkman In The West) - The Hit Co. (热歌公司) [00:05.04]You could hear the hoof beats pound [00:06.49]As they raced across the ground, [00:07.98] [00:09.12]And the clatter of the wheels as they spun 'round and 'round. [00:11.98] [00:12.51]And he galloped into market street, [00:14.37]His badge upon his chest, [00:15.73]His name was Ernie, [00:17.16]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west. [00:19.44] [00:21.11]Now Ernie loved a widow, a lady known as Sue, [00:23.99] [00:24.84]She lived all alone in Liddley Lane at number 22. [00:27.86] [00:28.74]They said she was too good for him, she was haughty, [00:31.29]Proud and chic, [00:32.07] [00:32.64]But Ernie got his cocoa there three times every week. [00:36.10]They called him Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee) [00:40.04]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west. [00:42.46] [00:43.93]She said she'd like to bathe in milk, [00:45.91]He said, "All right, sweetheart," [00:47.17] [00:47.75]And when he'd finished work one night he loaded up his cart. [00:50.91] [00:51.62]He said, "D'you want it pasturize? [00:53.50]'Cause pasturize is best," [00:55.04]She says, "Ernie, [00:55.84]I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest." [00:59.05]That tickled old Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee) [01:02.83]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west. [01:05.66] [01:08.88]Now Ernie had a rival, an evil-looking man, [01:12.02] [01:12.65]Called Two-Ton Ted from Teddington [01:14.02]And he drove the baker's van. [01:15.84] [01:16.41]He tempted her with his treacle tarts [01:18.18]And his tasty wholemeal bread, [01:19.61] [01:20.14]And when she seen the size of [01:21.33]His hot meat pies it very near turned her head. [01:23.51] [01:24.99]She nearly swooned at his macaroon and he said, [01:27.13]"If you treat me right, [01:28.18] [01:28.71]You'll have hot rolls every morning [01:30.69]And crumpets every night." [01:31.97] [01:32.56]He knew once she sampled his layer cake [01:34.51]He'd have his wicked way, [01:35.73] [01:36.32]And all Ernie had to offer was a pint of milk a day. [01:39.76] [01:40.27]Poor Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee) [01:44.00]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west. [01:46.71] [01:49.87]One lunch time Ted saw Ernie's horse [01:51.52]And cart outside her door, [01:52.97] [01:53.55]It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four. [01:57.49]And as he lept down from [01:58.45]His van hot blood through his veins did course, [02:00.53] [02:01.21]And he went across to Ernie's cart and didn't half kick his 'orse. [02:04.54] [02:05.20]Whose name was Trigger, (Triggerrrrrrrr) [02:08.81]And he pulled the fastest milk cart in the west. [02:11.12] [02:12.71]Now Ernie rushed out into the street, [02:14.56]His gold top in his hand, [02:16.42]He said, "If you wanna marry Susie [02:17.67] [02:18.30]You'll fight for her like a man." [02:20.26]"Oh why don't we play cards for her?" [02:22.24]He sneeringly replied, [02:23.47] [02:24.07]"And just to make it interesting [02:25.88]We'll have a shilling on the side." [02:27.21] [02:28.85]Now Ernie dragged him from his van [02:30.73]And beneath the blazing sun, [02:32.65]They stood there face to face, [02:34.53]And Ted went for his bun. [02:35.77] [02:36.49]But Ernie was too quick, things didn't go the way Ted planned, [02:39.68] [02:40.28]And a strawberry flavoured yogurt sent it spinning from his hand. [02:43.37] [02:45.09]Now Susie ran between them and tried to keep them apart, [02:48.27] [02:48.85]And Ernie, he pushed her aside [02:50.42]And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart. [02:52.09] [02:52.68]And he looked up in pained surprise [02:54.52]And the concrete hardened crust, [02:55.85] [02:56.50]Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust. [02:59.76] [03:00.30]Poor Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee) [03:04.17]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west. [03:06.59] [03:08.76]Ernie was only 52, he didn't wanna die, [03:11.68] [03:12.51]And now he's gone to make deliveries in that milk round in the sky. [03:15.56] [03:16.41]Where the customers are angels and ferocious dogs are banned, [03:19.82] [03:20.53]And the milkman's life is full of fun in that fairy, dairy land. [03:23.90] [03:25.52]But a woman's needs are many fold and soon she married Ted, [03:29.16] [03:29.84]But strange things happened on their wedding night [03:31.98]As they lay in their bed. [03:33.23] [03:34.07]Was that the trees a-rustling? Or the hinges of the gate? [03:37.81]Or Ernie's ghostly gold tops a-rattling in their crate? [03:40.90] [03:41.70]They won't forget Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeee) [03:45.38]And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west.