Twas the Night After Christmas
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[ti:Twas the Night After Christmas]
[ar:The Hit Crew]
[al:A Real Down Home Country Christmas, Vol. 2]
[by:]
[offset:0]
[00:00.34]Twas the Night After Christmas - The Hit Crew
[00:01.75]
[00:02.44]Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer
[00:06.40]The beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler
[00:10.29]The tube socks empty hung no candies or toys
[00:13.66]I was camped out on my old La-Z-Boy
[00:16.92]
[00:17.49]The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife
[00:20.43]The worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives
[00:24.26]My wife couldn't argue and neither could I
[00:27.32]So I watched TV and my wife she just cried
[00:30.72]
[00:31.36]When out in the yard the dog started barkin'
[00:33.47]
[00:34.37]I stood up and looked and saw Sheriff Larkin
[00:37.41]
[00:38.13]Yelled He "Roy I amd sworn to uphold the laws
[00:41.40]And I got a complaint from a feller named Clause "
[00:44.41]
[00:45.08]"Clause I don't know nobody named Clause
[00:47.98]And you ain't takin me in without probable cause "
[00:50.98]Then the Sheriff he said "The man was shot at last night "
[00:54.97]I said "That might've been me just whats he look like
[00:58.53]"Well he's a jolly old feller
[01:00.29]With a big beer gut belly
[01:02.48]That shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly
[01:05.78]He sports a long beard and a nose like a cherry "
[01:08.95]I said "That sounds like my wife's sister Sherri "
[01:12.60]"It's no time for jokes Roy " the Sheriff he said
[01:15.81]"The man I'm describing is dressed all in red
[01:19.10]I'm here for the truth now it's time to come clean
[01:22.65]Tell me what you done and tell me what you seen "
[01:25.96]Well I started to lie I then thought what the hell
[01:29.42]It wouldn't be the first time I spent New Years in jail
[01:33.07]I said "Sheriff it happened last night about ten
[01:36.08]I thought that my wife had been drinking again "
[01:38.86]When she walked in from works she was white as a ghost
[01:42.68]I thought maybe she'd seen one of them UFO's
[01:45.86]She that said But a bunch of deer had just flown over her head
[01:49.22]And stopped on the roof of our good neighbor Red
[01:52.06]Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shutter
[01:55.52]A freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter
[01:59.27]Well my hands were a shaking as I grabbed my gun
[02:02.46]When outta Red's chimney this feller did run
[02:05.41]And slung on his back was this bag overflowin'
[02:07.76]
[02:08.45]I thought he'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowlin'
[02:12.67]So I yelled "Drop it fat boy hands in the air "
[02:15.92]But he went about his business like he a hadn't care
[02:19.40]So I popped off a warning shot over his head
[02:22.19]Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled
[02:25.29]And as he flew off i heard him extort
[02:27.52]"Thats assault with intent Roy I'll see you in court "
[02:31.65]
[02:34.41]Sheriff Ill tell you this if you put a subnet
[02:36.45]On me I wont show up
[02:38.49]I'm gonna show up
[02:39.43]Ill hold up in the cellar
[02:40.81]You'll never rout me outta there
[02:42.72]So our will safe if get out of this
[02:45.44]Look we know each other a long time
[02:47.29]
[02:48.02]You just turn the car off come
[02:49.33]In we'll watch wrestling eat some
[02:51.62]Easter bunny stew and talk about howta catch that tooth fairy