Twas the Night After Christmas

[ti:Twas the Night After Christmas] [ar:The Hit Crew] [al:A Real Down Home Country Christmas, Vol. 2] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.34]Twas the Night After Christmas - The Hit Crew [00:01.75] [00:02.44]Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer [00:06.40]The beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler [00:10.29]The tube socks empty hung no candies or toys [00:13.66]I was camped out on my old La-Z-Boy [00:16.92] [00:17.49]The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife [00:20.43]The worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives [00:24.26]My wife couldn't argue and neither could I [00:27.32]So I watched TV and my wife she just cried [00:30.72] [00:31.36]When out in the yard the dog started barkin' [00:33.47] [00:34.37]I stood up and looked and saw Sheriff Larkin [00:37.41] [00:38.13]Yelled He "Roy I amd sworn to uphold the laws [00:41.40]And I got a complaint from a feller named Clause " [00:44.41] [00:45.08]"Clause I don't know nobody named Clause [00:47.98]And you ain't takin me in without probable cause " [00:50.98]Then the Sheriff he said "The man was shot at last night " [00:54.97]I said "That might've been me just whats he look like [00:58.53]"Well he's a jolly old feller [01:00.29]With a big beer gut belly [01:02.48]That shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly [01:05.78]He sports a long beard and a nose like a cherry " [01:08.95]I said "That sounds like my wife's sister Sherri " [01:12.60]"It's no time for jokes Roy " the Sheriff he said [01:15.81]"The man I'm describing is dressed all in red [01:19.10]I'm here for the truth now it's time to come clean [01:22.65]Tell me what you done and tell me what you seen " [01:25.96]Well I started to lie I then thought what the hell [01:29.42]It wouldn't be the first time I spent New Years in jail [01:33.07]I said "Sheriff it happened last night about ten [01:36.08]I thought that my wife had been drinking again " [01:38.86]When she walked in from works she was white as a ghost [01:42.68]I thought maybe she'd seen one of them UFO's [01:45.86]She that said But a bunch of deer had just flown over her head [01:49.22]And stopped on the roof of our good neighbor Red [01:52.06]Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shutter [01:55.52]A freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter [01:59.27]Well my hands were a shaking as I grabbed my gun [02:02.46]When outta Red's chimney this feller did run [02:05.41]And slung on his back was this bag overflowin' [02:07.76] [02:08.45]I thought he'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowlin' [02:12.67]So I yelled "Drop it fat boy hands in the air " [02:15.92]But he went about his business like he a hadn't care [02:19.40]So I popped off a warning shot over his head [02:22.19]Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled [02:25.29]And as he flew off i heard him extort [02:27.52]"Thats assault with intent Roy I'll see you in court " [02:31.65] [02:34.41]Sheriff Ill tell you this if you put a subnet [02:36.45]On me I wont show up [02:38.49]I'm gonna show up [02:39.43]Ill hold up in the cellar [02:40.81]You'll never rout me outta there [02:42.72]So our will safe if get out of this [02:45.44]Look we know each other a long time [02:47.29] [02:48.02]You just turn the car off come [02:49.33]In we'll watch wrestling eat some [02:51.62]Easter bunny stew and talk about howta catch that tooth fairy