Bessie the Heifer-"Little" Jimmy Dickens

(Boudleaux Bryant - Jimmy Dickens) My daddy gave a calf to me for a Christmas present once I picked a little heifer out 'cause both of us were runts She never had no sense but she grew up allright somehow And when it came to givin' milk she was an educated cow. Chorus: Bessie the heifer the queen of all cows She gave more milk than any law allows In the mornin' she gave pasteurized At nite she gave homogenized Bessie the heifer the queen of all the cows. I took her to the county fair to try to win a prize She knew what was goin' on I saw it in her eyes The contest made her nervous she tried so hard to please But when I tried to milk her all I got was cottage cheese. Chorus: Bessie the heifer the queen of all cows She gave more milk than any law allows In the mornin' she gave pasteurized At nite she gave homogenized Bessie the heifer the queen of all the cows. I planted me a 'tater patch to earn some extra dough To take a short vacation with some city folks I know But no one else would milk the cow no matter how I'd nag So pa took my vacation leavin' me to hold the bag. Chorus: Bessie the heifer the queen of all cows She gave more milk than any law allows In the mornin' she gave pasteurized At nite she gave homogenized Bessie the heifer the queen of all the cows...