We've Got To Keep Up With The Joneses-Gracie Fields

We've Got to Keep Up With The Joneses - Gracie Fields There's a family called Joneses come lived next to us And they're causing our family no end of a fuss They're very posh people you know by their clothes He wears plus fours and she talks down 'er nose We used to be 'appy 'til they came our way Now everything's altered I'm sorry to say Cos we've got to keep up with the Joneses We do just whatever they do They're so very cork tipped that Mother got pipped And said we would show them oo's oo When dinner is ready Ma bangs on a gong She puts in 'er aitches and gets them all wrong And Dad says 'e might 'ave a bath before long Cos we've got to keep up with the Joneses We've got to keep up with the Joneses Last Monday was their washing day And when Mother saw what Mrs Jones wore Well she bought a pair right away Dad said "Aren't you cold in them thin celonese " Said Mother "I was 'til I hit on this wheeze I'm wearing me fleecy ones underneath these " Cos we've got to keep up with the Joneses Dad goes off to work in a collar so neat But 'e snatches it off when 'e gets down the street Jones kisses 'is wife when 'e goes off to biz So dad said "I'm 'aving a basin of this " And just to make sure 'e's doing things swell E kisses the dog and the tom cat as well Cos we've got to keep up with the Joneses They really are terribly swell It gave us a jar when Jones bought a new car So we 'ad to 'ave one as well One Saturday evening Dad brought it across But we lost it the following morning because The fella who owned it found out where it was But we've got to keep up with the Joneses We've got to keep up with the Joneses Our manners improve every day Even Grandma says "Pardon " and runs down the garden When her food has gone down the wrong way Our Gert gave our Bert such a sloshin' one night She said "Stop that scratchin' it isn't polite When there's company present you just let 'em bite Cos we've got to keep up with the Joneses "