Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun?-Noel Coward and Orchestra

[ti:Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun?] [ar:Noel Coward and Orchestra] [al:CD C: London Pride, 1936-1943] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun? - Noel Coward and Orchestra [00:09.23]Colonel montmorency who was in calcutta in ninety two [00:12.67]Emerged from his retirement for the war [00:16.49]He wasn't very pleased with all he heard and all he saw [00:20.44]But whatever he felt he tightened his belt and organised a corps [00:24.25]Poor colonel montmorency thought all the wars he'd faught [00:28.33]The home guard was his job to do or die [00:32.84]But after days and weeks and years bravely drying his many tears [00:36.95]He wrote the following letter to the Minister of supply [00:41.30]Couls you please oblige us with a bren gun [00:45.08]Or failing that a hand grenade will do [00:48.87]We've got some ammunition in a rather damp condition [00:51.95] [00:52.82]And major huss has a arquebus that was used at waterloo [00:56.92]With the vicar's stirrup pump a pitchfork and a stave [01:00.55]It's rather hard to guard an aerodrome [01:02.52] [01:04.43]So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun [01:08.33]The home guard might as well go home [01:12.13]Could you please oblige us with a bren gun [01:16.01]We're getting awfully tired of drawing lots [01:20.00]Today we had a shipment of some curious equipment [01:23.22] [01:23.87]And just for a prank they sent us a tank that ties itself in knots [01:28.04]On Sunday's mock invasion captain clark was heard to say [01:31.64]He hadn't even got a brush and comb [01:35.45]So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun [01:39.37]The home guard might as well go home [01:45.06] [01:47.37]Colonel montmorency planned in case the enemy tried to land [01:50.95]To drive them back with skill and armoured force [01:55.04]He realised his army should be mechanised of course [01:58.85]But somewhere inside experience cried my kingdom for a horse [02:04.67]Poor colonel montmorency tried at infinite cost to time and pride [02:09.29]To tackle his superiors again [02:13.77]Having just one motorbike fourteen swords and a marlin spike [02:17.99]He wrote the following letter in the following urgent strain [02:22.01]Could you please oblige us with a bren gun [02:25.96]We need it very badly I'm afraid [02:29.80]Our local crossword solver has an excellent revolver [02:33.92]But during a short attack on a fort the trigger got mislaid [02:37.87]In course of operations planned for Friday afternoon [02:41.82]Our orders are to storm the Hippodrome [02:45.75]So if you can't oblige us with a Bren gun [02:49.63]The home guard might as well go home [02:53.42]Could you please oblige us with a bren gun [02:57.35]The lack of one is wounding to our pride [03:01.32]Last night we found the cutest little german parachutist [03:04.52] [03:05.30]He looked at our kit and giggled a bit and laughed until he cried [03:09.17]We'll have to hide that armoured car when marching through Berlin [03:12.97]We'd almost be ashamed of it in rome [03:17.00]So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun [03:20.86]The home guard might as well go home